My Shenyang girlfriend wants me to carry her bag.

[lovingman]

My Shenyang girlfriend keeps complaining about me not carrying her handbag every time we go out for a date. She would always say I don’t love her enough and I am no romantic. Seriously, is that even necessary? I mean, foreigners are not really romantic like what they used to appear in some movies or whatever. I have observed that my girlfriend usually carries unnecessary stuffs in her bag which make it heavier. Is she doing that so I will carry it for her? Is that how Shenyang women define sweetness? Help!

[smackie09]

Find a new GF. I'm a woman and find this tradition best left for someone of her tradition/culture. Plus she threaten you....that is abuse...send her to the curb.

[TheEvilJester]

I've always been super old-fashioned. Hold the door for women, offer your seat on the train/bus to them kind of guy. It's NOT in any way a male chauvinist thing (sad that we live in a world these days where I feel like I have to make that clarification). It's simply a manners thing. It feels right to me.

....And with that said I personally never got the carry my purse thing. That's one I was never all that keen on in the first place. I mean, if you need me to hold it for a minute or two because you need both hands to look at something, or something like that, sure. No biggie. I mean, hypothetically speaking, if a guy friend of mine was at one of my conventions with me and asked me to hold his backpack for a second while he did this or that I'd have no problem with that. So, same thing if a gal is just asking me to hold her purse momentarily for this or that.

But to expect that you just hold her purse for her the entire time? Yeah, I'm not into that. Heck, despite the fact that a guy carrying around a purse might look weird.... LOL! I don't carry something like that around generally because I don't feel like carrying something around. So, if you she doesn't want to carry her own purse... DON'T BRING IT! Simple as that.

Honestly, this in and of itself really shouldn't be all that big a deal. The problem is, it sounds like SHE is making it a big deal. To be completely honest, my personal advice would be she isn't worth the drama. If she claims you don't love her enough just because you won't hold her purse... my personal reaction would be "Fine. You're right. I don't. Good bye. Go find yourself somebody who will hold your purse, since apparently that is SO important to you."

I MAY be over-reacting. I just am NOT a fan of childish games. If she gets THIS upset over something so trivial I would hate to see how she handles anything else in life. So, only you really know her well enough to know if perhaps I am over-reacting and she may be fine if you just talk to her calmly about it. But, she sounds to me like too much drama. Best of luck to you either way.

[dawghoused]

Your girlfriend is absolutely wrong. How can a man carry a lady bag? You are her BF, not a coolie. If she fights for these silly things then you should break up with her. Your relationship will not work.

[smackie09]

I totally get it...holding her purse is like holding hands...it symbolizes you two as a couple. When you hold hands in public you are looked at as being together, and committed to each other. If you refuse to do this, you refuse to be a couple or show your willingness to be committed.

[fearoflove]

I will never ask my man to carry my purse unless it gets super heavy. Plus, I don't want him to manhandle my $6000 designer purses.

[lovebroken]

I've never asked a guy to hold my purse before, maybe my wallet or sunglasses but that was about it.

She should put less in her purse or buy a purse that can be worn cross body or as a backpack then.

[smackie09]

"My Shenyang girlfriend" .....Different culture all together people.

[CleanCut]

Lol, with the OP's thread title, I thought for sure he mean't that his GF wanted him to raise her kid, lol.

Yes, I see that situation as very odd as well. If she can't even carry her own handbag around that she has stuffed with unnecessary crap, then what good is she? Yeah, tell her to carry it herself and let her know that is just the way it is in the USA and if she doesn't like it she can either leave it at home or go back to where she came from!

To give her the idea of real american attitude on this kind of thing, make her watch this movie clip...

[jay2665]

maybe that girl is sometimes naive, if you can bear this , then to carry not so many times is ok. Why not all the time carrying for her, it is because you should not set a bad example to her that she can pull all minor stuffs or something she dont wanna do to you. She have to do her things by herself, bt sometimes helps can be offered by boyfriend.

[TheEvilJester]

We are all just speculation, I guess... but to me whether or not he is willing to hold her bag is not really the issue, nor is her request for him to hold her bag in the first place. The issue is how big of a deal she is making it out to be like it is a sign that he doesn't love her. I mean, I've never been the pig-headed manly man kind of type... but I still would feel uncomfortable carrying around a woman's purse. Again, like I said, I don't mind holding it briefly while she uses the ladies' room, or tries stuff on in the dressing room or something like that. But, I'm not going to just carry it around for you all the time.

I mean, I guess I don't know enough about her culture. Maybe to her culture that IS as important as holding hands. If you refused to hold hands with your girlfriend, I could see that not being okay with her, so maybe to her culture this is equivalent. I don't know. But, if so, then maybe just explaining to her it is different here would help. Though, again, like I said it sounds like a lot of drama over something very trivial. Again, I couldn't help but wonder how she'd handle any real problems in life if she gets this bent out of shape over something like this.