Am I selfish?

[lm0905]

My boyfriend's family was super generous and nice enough to invite me on a family trip with them (1 week trip). There will be 8 of us going. So we are taking 2 cars to the airport, so that means space in the trunk for all the suitcases isn't great.

Knowing this, my boyfriend and I agreed that we will take our own carry-on bag but will share 1 checked luggage (which is the size of a carry-on bag). That's not the issue.
So since BF and I are sharing a checked bag, we both are putting our toiletries bags in it. The bag really isn't super spacious, and my carry-on bag isn't big, so space is pretty vital.
One of boyfriend's brothers' 'A' asked boyfriend if he could put his toiletries bag in our checked in bag and BF goes 'yeah of course'... Whatever, just one extra toiletry bag in our check luggage, shouldn't be too big of a deal.

Then BF's brother 'M' asked us today if he can put his toiletry bag in our checked bag.... (everybody gets 1 free checked bag, as an fyi)

So after 'M' asked us today, I texted/vented to what I thought was my sister about how I don't find it super fair that I have to sacrifice room in my checked bag so BF's 2 brothers can put their toiletry bags in their own bags and check them on their own, since we all get 1 free checked bag and blah blah blah.

I accidentally sent that all to my boyfriend, not my sister, and so I quickly realized and said 'Oh god I'm so sorry, I was venting, I shouldn't have said that'

And boyfriend goes 'Please don't be selfish. That's really not cool'.

Uhhh so now I'm confused.... Is it considered selfish of me to feel this way? To feel that I shouldn't have to give up room in my checked bag just so two more toiletry bags can go in (and we all know that toiletry bags aren't exactly space-savers'

We are leaving tomorrow and now BF isn't too happy with me.

Obviously I shouldn't have sent it to my boyfriend, albeit even on accident, but I don't think I am selfish in this situation, right?

[smackie09]

Family is family my dear. Me personally wouldn't care. I would have told them that they owe me a cocktail when we get off the plane.

You were graciously invited to this family trip...be more gracious about giving up some space in your bag.

[Hooo!]

Is this really a honest problem for you?

Chill girl

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And the next time just answer politely that you are already having other dudes thingy and you don’t really think it will fit
Or suggest you All take 1 extra bag together and pay the 40 bucks or whatever

It’s not that you are selfish. It’s just that this scene is totally stupid if it evolves into a drama over a toilet bag

[Snow White]

Personally, I don't believe in "accidents". I, personally, don't think you were being selfish but, the main lesson I would take away from this is that he is very close to his family and at this point your feelings are going to come second to them. I can't understand your bf staying mad at you about it. Get it cleared up so it doesn't ruin the vacation.

[TheEvilJester]

I absolutely 100% do NOT think you were being selfish. In fact, I'd almost say your boyfriend was being selfish just okaying them using YOUR luggage space without asking you. It is one thing for them to ask. No big deal. BUT, what if you didn't have enough luggage room yourself? I could be wrong, but it did sound to me like that was the case. That, due to the room they'd be taking up in YOUR luggage it would cause you not to have enough room for your own stuff, and/or to have to pack additional luggage.

You know something? To be completely honest, even if you HAD plenty of luggage space, it still isn't okay of him to just say yes to them without even asking you first. I mean, if you did have plenty of room and their additional stuff wouldn't cause you any issue at all then I don't see any reason why you shouldn't let them use your extra luggage space... but it still isn't okay for them/him to just assume.

Now, I will say that you really should have just discussed this with him. You shouldn't have felt the need to complain about it behind his back to a friend of yours (though you accidentally wound up sending it to your fella instead). Your complaints were perfectly reasonable, both because you only have so much luggage space yourself (and they really should be worrying about their OWN luggage and not trying to cram their crap into yours) and because your boyfriend shouldn't just let them without even consulting you to make sure you two still have enough room for what you need to pack. But, by complaining about it behind his back instead of just talking to him about it, I can understand how he felt. I still don't necessarily think he reacted well. He could have realized he'd been partially wrong as well and admitted/apologized for that but instead he chose to just completely turn it around on you.

I think this very well COULD, though, all just boil down to a minor misunderstanding. I don't think this should have to be too big a deal. When you can let yourself cool down a bit, I'd just suggest talking to him. Maybe start off slightly apologetic with something like...

"Hey, I realized after the fact that I really should have just talked to you about this rather than complaining to a friend. So, I am sorry for that. But, I would have just appreciated it if you at least talked to me first before just letting your family pack their stuff in our luggage. If we are able to make space for it then I have no problem with that, but we needed to at least make sure we have room for everything we need first."

That is just off the top of my head, so obviously put that in your own words if you do decide to go with something like that. Mistakes were made, I think, on both sides... but this does NOT sound to me like you being selfish at all.

Good luck.

[pcmaster]

No you are not shellfish.

[Gina.G]

Can you still fit all of your stuff in your checked bag along with the other brothers toiletries? Men usually don't have much, so you should be able to fit it all. I wouldn't take your BF's comment too seriously. My guess is he will get over it pretty quick. Your comments didn't sound rude enough for this to actually be a big issue.

[smackie09]

They are on vay cay now, so I'm sure it has blown over.