Please be thinking the same as I am.........

[ErikEverhard]

Me and my friend starting dating off and on for about the last three months. Everything has been going real good up until last week. A few weeks before last week she invited me to her house to meet her friends and to meet her three kids. Here I am totally out of my comfort zone, but guess what we all had a great time!!! Me and her sit outside until the next morning talking about what we both wanted if we were to pursue a serious relationship. We both agreed everything so far was great. I would simply tell her how pretty and beautiful she was, and she to my surprise said it had been a very very long time since anyone has told her that and made her feel the way I made her feel.


Well the last week or so she has been dealing with a lot. Her two oldest sons have been arguing with each other terribly, than she had a close family member, her cousin died, stressed out at work she is a teacher and it is the end of the school year, plus her physical aches and pains from a accident five years ago. She invites me to her house to watch a movie, so it is me, her, and her youngest son. I could tell she was not feeling well so I left early. I get a text when I get home and she tells me she is sorry for not being fun to hang around with recently. My exact words were as do not worry about me as long as I am with you that is all I need, and I know you are going through a tough time right now. Than my heart explodes.....She tells me she needs some time to think, and that she is not sure if she is ready for a serious relationship, and she is not sure what she wants, she just needs some time to think and that we should just be friends right now.
I just say okay, but I do tell her I am hurt over it but if she needs time to think and just be friends for now than so be it. I will wait.

So what is she thinking? Everyday I check my phone constantly to see if she has texted, because everyday we would tell each other good morning and throughout the day text and now that is all gone. Her last relationship I think ended in December after three years. She walked in on her boyfriend having sex with another woman in there bed. I have fallen hard and fast for this woman and if she needs time to think, I am willing to wait. But in that waiting time your mind starts thinking of all kinds of stuff..she really doesnt want to be with me, she never really felt anything, I am ugly lol, etc.

I have not talked to her in a week now and it is miserable. Should I contact her, give her more time alone, what should I do. I am afraid if I contact her she will not reply or I will seem to clingy. Also, I have thought about reaching out to her best friend and ask her advice on what I should do. Should I do that?

[Snow White]

You referred to her as your friend and that you had started dating. Were the two of you friends first and then decided to try dating? If that was the case, perhaps she realized that even though you were a great friend, her feelings for you couldn't move on to something more. I am sorry to say that if she hasn't contacted you at all in a week, she just isn't into having a serious relationship with you.

You do though, have the right to know what is going on and not just be left hanging. I would call her and tell her you ned to know what is going on. You care for her and respect if she needs space but, is there a chance for a relationship or not?

[smackie09]

She's avoiding telling the truth...that you are just a friend and this dating thing isn't working out. Been there done that.

[ErikEverhard]

She's avoiding telling the truth...that you are just a friend and this dating thing isn't working out. Been there done that.

Nope, you are both wrong. The day she told me this the very next day I find out she has been cheating on me the entire time. I text her because she is not adult enough to talk on the phone or face to face. She says it was my fault because I didn't care enough.

[Snow White]

I am very sorry to hear this but, I think this shows we were right. She was not interested in you as a lover. Do not take this personally. She cannot turn this around and blame this on you. Consider yourself lucky that you are ridding yourself of someone who has a lot of emotional baggage.

[smackie09]

Why am I wrong? She was avoiding telling you the truth that this dating thing wasn't working...she took the cowards way out by cheating to move on. And in the most of lame ways tosses you the friendship card....and that is not the door being left open a crack for future opportunity.

Moral of the story....she ain't worth your time, nor did she ever deserve it.