Why do guys who are ugly think they have a chance?

[jeffersson]

I think having a $%^& attitude makes anyone too unattractive even for ugly girls. They know a bad thing when they see it.

if women know a bad thing when they see it then please tell me why so many women have/had abusive boyfriends.

also even with a great attitude a guy like me would stand no chance, please do tell me why a woman would like me when i am 1 of 10 on the look scale and have low iq.

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The original post is basically "click bait". It was posted on multiple forums but with different user names.

i dont think so, many women have the mindset of op.

[GLYC]

this is not true. alot of ugly guys do want ugly girls. i have approached 1000+ ugly girls in my life and all of them declined me. so its more like ugly girls dont want ugly guys.

how can there be a counterpart for me ? i am 0 of 10 on the look scale, i have 100+ physical flaws and i also have low iq, i cant even get friends and talk to people so how can i be in relationship with a woman? alot of people have been alone their whole life, there really is not someone for everyone, that is just fairytales.

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i see ugly girls with average looking guys/hot guys all the time but never ugly guys with a partner. to get a partner if you are a ugly guy you have to be rich or famous, but ugly girls are good enough as they are.

I've seen ugly guys with good looking girlfriends.

It does happen. Those guys are typically pretty awesome men though, great attitudes, hilarious, fun to be around, etc.

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if women know a bad thing when they see it then please tell me why so many women have/had abusive boyfriends.

also even with a great attitude a guy like me would stand no chance, please do tell me why a woman would like me when i am 1 of 10 on the look scale and have low iq.

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i dont think so, many women have the mindset of op.

You're contradicting yourself. What you're saying is depictive of a person with a bad attitude.
How you're speaking is a person that just thinks "it's pointless to try, I've failed at this before".
Nothing about that is a great attitude, nor is it attractive to women. Talking like that will send women sprinting in the other direction.

"Even with a great attitude a guy like me would stand no chance"

"Why a woman would like me"

You have to give them reasons to, that starts with liking yourself and building your empire (your career, health, image, attitude).

If you don't like yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? Lol

[jeffersson]

I've seen ugly guys with good looking girlfriends.

It does happen. Those guys are typically pretty awesome men though, great attitudes, hilarious, fun to be around, etc.

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You're contradicting yourself. What you're saying is depictive of a person with a bad attitude.
How you're speaking is a person that just thinks "it's pointless to try, I've failed at this before".
Nothing about that is a great attitude, nor is it attractive to women. Talking like that will send women sprinting in the other direction.

"Even with a great attitude a guy like me would stand no chance"

"Why a woman would like me"

You have to give them reasons to, that starts with liking yourself and building your empire (your career, health, image, attitude).

If you don't like yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? Lol

sure you have, but majority of ugly guys are forever alone. and how many very ugly guys have you seen with a gf? 1 in million.

i do like myself, but no other do it. i just have nothing to offer to anybody.

its not realistic for a guy who is 1 of 10 on the look scale and have low iq to be in a relationship, getting laid or even having friends.

[TheEvilJester]

Attractiveness is very personal. I will also 100% agree that it is NOT a choice. You can't necessarily help who/what you do and don't find attractive. So it isn't necessarily wrong if you don't find a particular person/type of person attractive. But what certainly IS wrong is thinking that means they are ugly. A person is not unattractive because you don't find them attractive. They are merely unattractive to you.

And I'd also agree that personality matters. I think this maybe puts me in the minority... but I've never been one to, generally speaking, have varying levels/ratings of attractiveness. For example, if I see two women I find very attractive, to me they are both very attractive. It isn't "Oh, this one is a 10 and this one is a 9.25." To me, they are both very attractive.

But what CAN make a big difference is the kind of person they are inside. I've known some women who are ridiculously attractive....but then also seem to have a bad attitude. Like, they come across (whether they are or not) as the type of person who KNOWS they are attractive and thinks everybody is beneath them. The kind of person who wouldn't give us normal riff raff the time of day. To me, that kind of person is massively less attractive because of their attitude/aura. They may be objectively attractive, but they are not (or at least don't seem to be) a very good person.

Whereas somebody that I find attractive can be a million times more attractive in my eyes when they also turn out to be awesome as a person.

On a side note:

I 100% agree that I think this thread was started as click bait/spam/troll nonsense. I thought that from the start. I still think it is an interesting topic to discuss, though, and one where I think we've had a lot of intriguing back and forth. So, really who cares if it was started with the intention of just trolling us? What is more important is what we've made of it. :-)

[smackie09]

if women know a bad thing when they see it then please tell me why so many women have/had abusive boyfriends.

also even with a great attitude a guy like me would stand no chance, please do tell me why a woman would like me when i am 1 of 10 on the look scale and have low iq.

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i dont think so, many women have the mindset of op.

Tell me why guys put up with their GF who keeps emotionally cheating on them and keep orbiters around?

[PRW]

if women know a bad thing when they see it then please tell me why so many women have/had abusive boyfriends.

also even with a great attitude a guy like me would stand no chance, please do tell me why a woman would like me when i am 1 of 10 on the look scale and have low iq.

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i dont think so, many women have the mindset of op.

Doesn't mean it isn't "Click Bait". A lot of people can share a lot of positions with a lot of things said in a lot of Click Bait.

[TheEvilJester]

Who cares if it is or not if the discussion was something many felt was interesting enough to comment? There's been plenty of spam/click bait that we just completely ignore. Just so happens many of us found this topic interesting enough to discuss whether it was coming from a troll or not.

[GLYC]

sure you have, but majority of ugly guys are forever alone. and how many very ugly guys have you seen with a gf? 1 in million.

i do like myself, but no other do it. i just have nothing to offer to anybody.

its not realistic for a guy who is 1 of 10 on the look scale and have low iq to be in a relationship, getting laid or even having friends.

A lot of guys just don't put in the proper work. I'd say, most "ugly" guys have already given up.

It's really a self fulfilling prophecy, if you think you're doomed to fail, you will sabotage any chance of success. I personally know people like this, I asked someone about some dating things, and he just said, "no woman will ever go out with me", and yet, he never even really tried. He gave up before he even attempted.

If you think you have problems, you need to analyze your problems for what they are and find a better way.

I'm not saying that a person has to be cocky, or have an ego, in fact you shouldn't. But you do have to value what you bring to the table.

It's really about always reevaluating yourself, your goals, how you show up, who you are, etc.

Dating really is a skill and an art in some aspects. Some people naturally have it, some dont.

Is it easier for attractive people to date? Course. Especially if they know they're attractive. They're likely more confident and social as a result of that. They naturally project a better presence because they think more highly of themselves. Because they think more highly of themselves, they often take better care of themselves. Obviously like previously stated in this thread, that can go too far.

But anybody can get in good shape, anybody can dress nice, can learn the skills, etc.

[pcmaster]

Looks dont matter that much. What matters is intentions guy have and how good he hits it off with a girl from beginning. Confidence is more important than looks. Also more important is to have other things in place. Something that get to attract girls brains not eyes. here are things you can see with eyes but more important are things that you can see with a heart.

[TheEvilJester]

A lot of guys just don't put in the proper work. I'd say, most "ugly" guys have already given up.

It's really a self fulfilling prophecy, if you think you're doomed to fail, you will sabotage any chance of success. I personally know people like this, I asked someone about some dating things, and he just said, "no woman will ever go out with me", and yet, he never even really tried. He gave up before he even attempted.

If you think you have problems, you need to analyze your problems for what they are and find a better way.

I'm not saying that a person has to be cocky, or have an ego, in fact you shouldn't. But you do have to value what you bring to the table.

It's really about always reevaluating yourself, your goals, how you show up, who you are, etc.

Dating really is a skill and an art in some aspects. Some people naturally have it, some dont.

Is it easier for attractive people to date? Course. Especially if they know they're attractive. They're likely more confident and social as a result of that. They naturally project a better presence because they think more highly of themselves. Because they think more highly of themselves, they often take better care of themselves. Obviously like previously stated in this thread, that can go too far.

But anybody can get in good shape, anybody can dress nice, can learn the skills, etc.

Agreed on all of this. I'll even add that it can also help to kind of "fake it till you make it" in a manner of speaking. I have personally never thought advice like "if you can't love yourself then how can anybody else ever love you" is very good. I think it is incomplete. To somebody like me, you might as well just be saying "Nobody will ever love you." I think the better way to summarize that advice would be "If you can't ever let somebody love you, then nobody ever will."

Otherwise, that advice isn't helpful. Especially when the fact the nobody loves you is a large part of the reason you don't love yourself. Especially when having somebody who loved you could help you love yourself more. Truth be told, sometimes for people like myself it can be damn near impossible to love ourselves. So, I think the better advice in extreme cases like that is to, at the very least, not carry yourself as though you hate yourself. Like I said, fake it till you make it. ACT like somebody with confidence.

If you simply don't try because you think you KNOW nobody will ever love you, then it is a foregone conclusion anyway. If every other word out of your mouth is super negative about yourself, then you are going to turn people off immediately and most likely nobody ever will give you a chance. Personally, I'm doing much better these days than ever in my life before. Some days are better than others, and it will always be a struggle, but I appreciate myself so much more than ever.

But, for most of my life I have HATED myself. Even now, I still battle with that regularly and do all I can not to plummet back into that Hell. ....BUT... if given the chance to date, I don't make every other sentence of my conversation with the gal about how much I hate myself and how much I suck and this and that. I accentuate the positive. Eliminate the negative. (Love that song, LOL) I just be the fun, goofy idiot I am when I am the best of me and let the negativity take a break.

It's surprising, sometimes, how much that can help. Both in connecting with other people and for appreciating yourself. It becomes an all encompassing thing too. The better you feel, the more that shows. The more that shows, the more people are drawn to you and the easier you feel around them.

It's not easy, but it can work. And, as I am learning these days, even if it doesn't necessarily seem to help in the love department... truthfully it at least helps you feel better about you. I won't say it makes everything peaches and cream. Life can still be a b*tch. But, the more you appreciate you the easier it can be to deal with things even if you sometimes feel like nobody else appreciates you.

I know I make it sound easier than it is. It isn't easy, it is a struggle. Especially for guys like us. But, if you give up then life will only ever be miserable. If you try... if you fight... there will be bad times, sure.... but there will be good times too. Those good times are worth it.

[warriormaiden]

Why do ugly guys even date? Not even ugly girls want ugly guys. So why do they even bother? If ugly guys gonna get laid or get a gf they need to be rich and famous but that is almost impossible to be, so why dont they just give up?

Do not confuse average guys with ugly guys, i am talking about guys who are legit 1-2-3 on the look scale.

Oh look. An Incel.

[TheEvilJester]

Oh look. An Incel.

I had absolutely never heard that term and had to look it up.... and I'm not sure you are using it correctly. From what I'm reading, it seems to be defined as one of two similar things. Either:

A) Somebody who defines themselves as wanting a relationship but being unable to find one (Involuntarily celibate = incel)

Or the more Internet-accepted use

B) Somebody who defines themselves as wanting a relationship but being unable to find one (Involuntarily celibate = incel) and blames everybody else (and most often whichever gender is their sexual interest) when in reality their obvious crappy attitude likely has a lot more to do with it. (In other words, they are involuntarily celibate almost entirely through their own fault.)

...Oh, wait... I think I'm starting to see the connection you were implying. Never mind. I withdrawal my comment that I think you were using this wrong. ;-)

[GLYC]

Agreed on all of this. I'll even add that it can also help to kind of "fake it till you make it" in a manner of speaking. I have personally never thought advice like "if you can't love yourself then how can anybody else ever love you" is very good. I think it is incomplete. To somebody like me, you might as well just be saying "Nobody will ever love you." I think the better way to summarize that advice would be "If you can't ever let somebody love you, then nobody ever will."

Otherwise, that advice isn't helpful. Especially when the fact the nobody loves you is a large part of the reason you don't love yourself. Especially when having somebody who loved you could help you love yourself more. Truth be told, sometimes for people like myself it can be damn near impossible to love ourselves. So, I think the better advice in extreme cases like that is to, at the very least, not carry yourself as though you hate yourself. Like I said, fake it till you make it. ACT like somebody with confidence.

If you simply don't try because you think you KNOW nobody will ever love you, then it is a foregone conclusion anyway. If every other word out of your mouth is super negative about yourself, then you are going to turn people off immediately and most likely nobody ever will give you a chance. Personally, I'm doing much better these days than ever in my life before. Some days are better than others, and it will always be a struggle, but I appreciate myself so much more than ever.

But, for most of my life I have HATED myself. Even now, I still battle with that regularly and do all I can not to plummet back into that Hell. ....BUT... if given the chance to date, I don't make every other sentence of my conversation with the gal about how much I hate myself and how much I suck and this and that. I accentuate the positive. Eliminate the negative. (Love that song, LOL) I just be the fun, goofy idiot I am when I am the best of me and let the negativity take a break.

It's surprising, sometimes, how much that can help. Both in connecting with other people and for appreciating yourself. It becomes an all encompassing thing too. The better you feel, the more that shows. The more that shows, the more people are drawn to you and the easier you feel around them.

It's not easy, but it can work. And, as I am learning these days, even if it doesn't necessarily seem to help in the love department... truthfully it at least helps you feel better about you. I won't say it makes everything peaches and cream. Life can still be a b*tch. But, the more you appreciate you the easier it can be to deal with things even if you sometimes feel like nobody else appreciates you.

I know I make it sound easier than it is. It isn't easy, it is a struggle. Especially for guys like us. But, if you give up then life will only ever be miserable. If you try... if you fight... there will be bad times, sure.... but there will be good times too. Those good times are worth it.

Yes, faking it until you make it can work, to an extent. Its far better to be actively taking the steps towards your goals and being who you want to be though, which cab just be baby steps. Progress is still progress. But. You really do have to believe in yourself though, or eventually.


I would say it's normal to not 100% like everything about yourself, in fact, I would say that's healthy.
A person should always want something more out of themselves, and to become better.

It's a happy medium, too far in any direction will ruin you, but it's really better to lean further in the "I got this" direction and honestly even come off as a little cocky then it is to fall into the "I won't ever succeed" mindtrap.

And the reality is, confidence isn't saying "I will always succeed", that's fake confidence, that's when you stumble into arrogance. Real confidence is saying "im going to give this my best, but even if I don't succeed. I will be alright"

Overall, I think the "if you don't love yourself" line is better translated or interpreted as that you don't find happiness just from other people. That only gets you so far. What happens when youve been around that same person for a year, and the new luster has gone? You'll fall back into that "I don't like myself" mindset.

And the reality is. To be with someone, whether it's a friend, or a lover, etc. It's quite exhausting to have to constantly try to reassure someone of their worth, or that they can accomplish their goals, if they don't believe in themselves. There's a lot of things that we can't do for other people in this world. The best another person can do is lead a horse to water, but you can never make it drink.

Personally, I don't have the energy to be with people that are like that, or, at least in large doses.
People that are that way are often in limited contact with me in my life. My positive influences I get things in return from being by them and around them. Really negative people will rob you of your enthusiasm, and will rub off onto you.

I don't view much to be gained from listening to someone that just says "-my life sucks" in 100 different variations. I'll listen, but I can only take so much before I feel exhausted listening to it. Bad days are acceptable, everyone can complain at times. I'm talking chronic, day in and day out bitter types.. I'd much rather listen to someone who is talking about their plans and goals to correct what they feel is lacking in their life, versus the person who makes no attempt to move or change in their life, but instead just endure it. Unfortunately there are a lot of people like that in the world.

I watched a great podcast on this, by Joe Rogan.

[Hooo!]

If you fake being confident and because of that you are acting confident

How is that different to faking bravery with your actions?

If you act bravely you are brave.

Some things matter much if they are viewed from the outside.

If you like you voice but other people don’t then it’s probably not so good.
It’s also not good if you don’t like it but others do. But that is better already. You just have to change your mindset.

Best is if you like your voice as much as other people do.


The whole topic of looks. You could say the same about ugly girls. Or men with small dicks or stupid girls
Or superficial internet trolls like the op.
Everyone has things they can’t stand.

But here is a hint: if you have an ugly face but clean and well dressed and with a healthy attitude then that’s better than being a superficial asshole ;-)

[GLYC]

If you fake being confident and because of that you are acting confident

How is that different to faking bravery with your actions?

If you act bravely you are brave.

Some things matter much if they are viewed from the outside.

If you like you voice but other people don’t then it’s probably not so good.
It’s also not good if you don’t like it but others do. But that is better already. You just have to change your mindset.

Best is if you like your voice as much as other people do.


The whole topic of looks. You could say the same about ugly girls. Or men with small dicks or stupid girls
Or superficial internet trolls like the op.
Everyone has things they can’t stand.

But here is a hint: if you have an ugly face but clean and well dressed and with a healthy attitude then that’s better than being a superficial asshole ;-)

Because acting can only get you so far. Eventually, you will slip up.
The reality is, talk is cheap. What you say and what you do will be what people derive of the type of person you are. What happens when you are face to face with a woman in real time?

A person should work on being more confident, in the mean time, yes, reevaluate what you do and work on it. Even if that means faking it a little bit. Keep in mind, as I said, confidence isn't the same as arrogance.

Naturally, if you keep ending up in new situations taking risks, and always questioning things and working on improving yourself. You will just be confident. You will eventually endure enough things, have thought things over, that you will just be much harder to diminish. You become resilient. It does and can take practice though, some people will naturally adopt it easier and some may already have it. Some other people, will never get it (mostly people that lack a self-growth mentality).

I think great steps towards that is understanding yourself, who you are, what you value, what your morals are, what your goals are, what you're looking for, etc.