Should my friend marry her boyfriend?

[Summerr]

My bestfriends boyfriend has been making post on facebook saying he’s “feeling nervous” lately and recently He shared a post of a picture of a guy and a girl looking at fireworks on the 4th of July and it said “How I want my 4th of July to be” ang his caption on Facebook was “7 days 🤫.”


now she assumes he’s gonna propose right after that he shared another “feeling nervous” post on Facebook along with a relationship meme saying “happily ever after doesn’t happen effortlessly, Relationships need working on.” A month ago and even before that he was still making sexual advances at his ex who he ended things with when she found out he was messing around with my best friend on the side.

From what my friend told me he ended things with his ex it In a pretty rude way too. She saw the picture my friend tagged him in of him and her, confronted him about it and in the beginning he lied and said they were just friends. He ignored her for days, but eventually told her to never call or text him again and that he was done with her and he told her to stop messaging his girl (my bestfriend) when she messaged her asking for the truth about them.

My best friend was pretty rude about it as well. She laughed at how his ex was crying to him about how he could do that to her knowing she experienced a lot of her first, sexually, with him. My friend was with him the whole time the altercation between them had went down.

I’ve been trying to let my best friend know he isn’t for her because of how they started dating and because of what he has done with his ex and probably still does with other girls but she doesn’t listen.

They have been in Memphis living with his biological mom since May, before that they were playing hosue at her moms house in Chicago and now he may or not be planning to propose and neither one are ready for that and she’s only 18 and he’s 23, 24 in December. Any advice?

[Gina.G]

She is going to make her own choices, and you have to let her do that. You can let her know you're there for her for support if she needs it, but you cannot control what other people choose to do with their lives.

[smackie09]

Oh well you can't stop them....if things don't work out there is always divorce.

[dawghoused]

Well, It depends on your friend. If she loves her boyfriend and wants to marry him then let her do that. You should support her decision.

[TheEvilJester]

Okay... so the first question I can't help but ask...

In this picture of a man and woman looking at fireworks, was the man proposing to the woman? Or were they just looking at fireworks. Because you didn't describe it as "a man proposing to a woman by fireworks." You described it as "a man and a woman looking at fireworks." Where in the blue Hell does your friend get "Holy crap, he's going to propose to me" out of that? That's QUITE a leap. These posts where he says he's "feeling nervous..." Does he give any details as to why he's feeling nervous, or any kind of context clues? Or do they literally just say he's "feeling nervous?" Because, he could be feeling nervous because he's going to a big job interview.... or because he's worried me might be getting kidney stones.... or because he can't seem to get past a certain level in his latest video game. LOL! I'm assuming there must be some reason for your friend to suspect he is going to propose beyond just those minor clues.

Anyway, that's kind of a moot point anyway, but I just couldn't help but be curious since those seemed like flimsy evidence to jump to such a conclusion. Truth be told, I'd love to say I disagree with the others but I cannot. You can't really tell your friend what to do. If he DOES propose and she wants to say yes, she's going to whether you approve or not. From the sound of it, I 100% agree with you that she probably shouldn't for about a million reasons. One, they are too young to be thinking about marriage if you ask me. Two, he sounds like a scumbag. I mean, maybe I'm overreacting, I dunno, but cheating is reprehensible in the first place and the way he handled it with his ex only makes it worse.

Truthfully, I don't really think much of your friend either, though, from what you've shared. Sounds like she knew darn well she was "the other girl" and didn't care. What kind of heartless jerk would cheat with somebody and then laugh at the pain that brings to the person who was the cheated on party? So, heck, I dunno... maybe she deserves a scumbag like him anyway. Again.... could be I'm overreacting, but I just don't have a lot of forgiveness for people who blatantly hurt others, much less those who then never feel remorse for it.

But, again, not really anything you can do about it, unfortunately. If she wants to make such a big mistake, she'll have to make it. If it bothers you enough you certainly aren't obligated to continue to be her friend. Generally I'd say that you shouldn't judge somebody based on their significant other... but I couldn't blame you if this made it difficult for you to still be her friend if she'd be okay with somebody like that.

[Hooo!]

It’s none of your business.
Voice your doubts
But support the decision