RE: Needed Advice

[Manju IT]

hi , this is manju.. I had a problem with my love and seeked help here before 1 year under title needed advice and then because of exams and placements and office I couldn't come here.. now I need help and support from anyone.. as mentioned in past thread my love life shaked my entire life..my family s seeing alliance for me..many things changed in my life..

after joining same company with my love I had many dreams and happiness since he s gonna with me..but then everything was opposite..he got new friends and now he doesn't even turn to me..my problem is I loved him so much that I couldn't leave him..and still I'm possessive on him.. and most importantly he s talking eating laughing with other girls in front of me... since v r in same company everyday I happen to c him..and everyday I'm crying .. I need someone for help..someone to share ..pls help me overcome

[pcmaster]

This is gotten too far. What you need to do is stop crying. I mean you need love from other sources. Pray God everyday and also see your friends as often as possible. You need hang put with people, be close with your family, relatives and friends. best thing you can do is be busy and work on yourself. meditate. There are good meditation apps(Like "Mediation" and "Lets meditate !"). Also practice forgivness - forgive every day something. People who forgive tend to cope with dificult situations better. There are mediation for forgivness and also prayers for it. You are weak now but all you have to do is find things that makes you strong. If you can afford then go to counseling or therapist. maybe you have a good friend or someone with who you can talk about your problems. That would help a lot to feel better cause sharing pain is always easier than keeping everything to yourself.
meanwhile take good care of your body and looks. This will help you feel better too and increase your confidence.

[Manju IT]

ya pcmaster..I m trying to be strong..trying to overcome..but still I couldn't forget the past memories that I had with him.. trying my best..thanks for ur advice.. this means a lot for me

[Hooo!]

Stop your bullshit

There is no such thing as overcoming memories.
Accept the fact that he does not want to be with you. If you are unsure of this then just ask him directly if there is the chance for you two to lead a happy relationship and if so what would be necessary for it?

If you are sure it’s not possible then finally imagine a future without him. Picture a future where you can happily think back on good times and bad times and are ok with what is to come.

Talk to other men
Get about a bit
Loosen up a little

[Manju IT]

there s no way we can join again..wen I am alone I can only remember him..his thoughts are filled so deeply within me.. but as u said I started moving on.. I m feeling better now..I started accepting facts..I feel good in posting this..thanks for all

[MsLondonB]

Hi Manju and I'm sorry your strugbling so much with this. The previous poster's post was very harsh, no your feelings are not "bullshit" and don't let anyone tell you they are! I also take it English is not your primary language and by overcoming memories you only mean overcoming the intense emotions you are experiencing.

You sound lovely, emotional and sensitive don't ever lose that! I think once you do accept that it's over it will be easier to move on. It's common to hold on to hope but doing that only keeps you stuck.

When your ready, start talking with new guys and dating. It will take time to get to that place emotionally so be patient with yourself.

I hope you feel better soon and sending you a great big virtual HUG!!

[Hooo!]

Noones thoughts are within you but your own.

Choose to think about the future

[Manju IT]

Thanks MsLondonB and Hooo!. Whenever I go down people like u helps me stay strong.. Really wat ur doing s great.. Can you point out where I went wrong.. it would help me in the future relationship at least..I deserve a better life..

[Hooo!]

Being fanatic and loving someone are not the same

If you loved him then you would want him to be happy

Being possessive, jealous and controlling are generally no good ideas. It means that you don’t trust and expect your partner to leave you
And since you are acting like a bitch because of that fear both of you can’t enjoy your relationship

It’s like a child who clings to your leg
You might enjoy that for a short stretch of time, but definitely not for the rest of your life

[Manju IT]

so u say that being possessive and controlling is the mistake that I have done?? am I right??

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And for ur understanding ..I don't act like bitch.. I just want him to spend more time with me than he s spending with others.. do u think this is wrong?? and for not attending his call during a meeting in office..he gets so much angry and raises his hand to beat me.. is this right??

[smackie09]

Why not fond other employment so you don't have to see all this stuff he is doing. The quicker you leave the easier it will be to forget.

[Hooo!]

Oh I forgot:
Be down to earth. Have a sound judgement

If you think something is not ok, the act accordingly.

Speak to each other
Find out what you and your partner want


No. Hitting you is ofc not ok. However why do you need me to tell you that?
That’s what I mean with a realistic approach.
See what is there
Not what you interpret that might bethere

[Manju IT]

[MENTION=87417]smackie09[/MENTION] - I have bond with the company for 2 yrs so I have to b here..no other option..once it got over I vl def leave

[MENTION=85121]Hooo![/MENTION] - I couldn't understand exactly what ur trying to say . but I understood my mistake somehow.. thanks

[smackie09]

Start calling in sick to the point they fire you.

[Manju IT]

[MENTION=87417]smackie09[/MENTION] - seriously I don't want to lose job . my family is searching for fiance. in 1 yr or so im gonna get married.. my bond also vl over..
I like him and he also likes me but he s not spending time with me ..he s always with them. which makes me get anger on them.. if I say this he s getting anger on me.. he says I changed etc etc.. idk wat I changed..

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[MENTION=87407]Mavepanus[/MENTION]- I don't understand ur point..u want me to seek help from psychologist..

And he says I'm arrogant.. I has too much of attitude.. if he scold me I will not talk to him..he only vl talk first..is this arrogance???? is this attitude?? he scolded me I'm pain how vl I talk..I don't even understand boys psychology..pls help me