Is he interested? Young, divorced and out of practice.

[jwireman]

Hi guys. It's been awhile. I'm in my early 30's and divorced. I have recently felt a very strong connection with a man I work with and these butterflies I'm feeling havent existed in years! I'm out of practice with dating and a little confused.

So, this was instant attraction for me. We work together and started to chat in passing in the beginning of the summer when our schedules changed and we saw more of eachother. I'm a pretty straight forward woman, so a few weeks in I left my number on his desk. He text me within an hour and said "hey it's *john. Thanks for leaving your number! Let's hang sometime outside of work!"

I responded and said I'd like to and I'm glad he wasn't spooked that I gave him my number. He answered "definitely not I'm glad you did".

So, more and more work chat but no texting or anything. He has no social media and I feel he may possibly be someone who isn't into constant communication. We had a long talk one day at work where he asked me tons of personal questions and was even asking about my son. After that talk I text him and said "it was nice talking today!" He responded "it's always nice talking to you! Is there a good night when you're free? Maybe we can hang outside of work".

We exchanged schedules and decided on next Wednesday...but didn't plan what were doing or what time after work. I'm a big planner so this was odd to me. I messaged him saying "we will figure out the details between them and now! I'm looking forward to it" He responded "it's a date! See you at work tomorrow!"

So here I sit super confused. There was really no concrete plan made. I get some people are spontaneous but obviously we will have to set a time and place. This plan was made Tuesday and we've both been busy at work but have had brief chats in passing. I have no problem being the more forward one...but what do you think? Is he interested?

Should I stop being so forward?

Help!

[smackie09]

How about this....take the lead. At the end of the day, say "Hey lets grab a quick drink over at _____."

I know he seems to be not biting, and well there is a possibility he is hesitant to get involved with a coworker or he is with someone or dating someone.
IMO you should never date coworkers. If things don't work out, you still have to see them everyday and interact with them. Not really a good idea.

[Hooo!]

I don't see the problem

The guy lets you know it's a date
And you are interested

So what exactly is the problem again?

[TheEvilJester]

Yeah, I agree with Hooo here. I definitely understand your confusion... but I don't see a problem right now. I mean, of course we could be wrong.... but I'd say it sounds like he is pretty interested. So, feel free to be the more direct one, or feel free to just go with the flow and see how things go. (That rhyme was not intentional. LOL!) If he's interested that should hopefully become more clear.

I don't think you or we have enough evidence yet to say "yay" or "nay."

I also agree with smackie. Sure, it would be nice if he took the lead, but if he's not maybe you just be more direct and hope he takes the hint. I also agree that it is generally not a great idea to date co-workers. I don't think I'd say you should NEVER... but it can be tricky if it ultimately doesn't work out. But, then again, as adults where the heck else do we meet people? So, sometimes you just have to go for it... but just do so with caution. How directly do you two work together? For example, say you start dating but then it doesn't work out in the end? Would it be easy to mostly avoid him at work (obviously you can't completely avoid a co-worker, but at least keep interactions to a minimum), or would it be like constantly having your ex right in your face? That could be a deciding factor in whether it is even worth pursuing.

Best of luck to you either way.

[bunnyhabit]

just be honest like "hey i am confused about timing of our date as to time, activity you plan and meet up local. want to insure i dress appropriately and don't miss out on connecting. give me some confidence you are serious about me, please."

[jay2665]

I remember you say you are a straight forward woman , then this is your advantage and your personality. Why draw back in the most important time. Just confirm all the information for the dating and state clearly u are a person sticking to planning. No plan will drive you mad~ maybe he would appreciate your cuteness and straight forward style. Take braveness to catch your love.