How does it feel like to be a man?

[Zachi]

[MENTION=71386]TheEvilJester[/MENTION] - You are a good person. But I just wish you'd go further and agree with me 100%. Maybe you should try being in a relationship, where you don't have sex at all for let's say 3 months. Then afterwards, you can try to notice the changes it made in that relationship. Maybe you'll realize that the absence of sex actually improves the romantic spirit... Who knows?

[GLYC]

[MENTION=87469]Zachi[/MENTION] I think your depiction is a bit extreme. Sex isn't a bad thing by any means, nor does it need to be limited to reproduction. Like i said, it is pleasurable, and basically a really high form of intimacy (It's a very vulnerable act). And on the note of pleasing, if my partner enjoys it, of course I'm going to do it at times, I would hope they feel the same way in that regard. I think it's a healthy act. Course, I do think that it really is a smaller portion or part of being in a romantic relationship than other people and the culture i live in says it is.

I agree that we live in a very sexualized world, and that it's better not to act like a sex craving maniac. But like I said, your depiction sounds a bit extreme.

[Zachi]

You may think it sounds extreme now, but even you, try to separate every thought of sex from all romantic contexts, and go all in for the non-sexual approach on the relationship for at least 3 months, and maybe you will have a revelation too. Maybe you will discover something about love, that you wouldn't have discovered without letting 100% go of the sex... You can't know until you try it... And by the way, when I say non-sexual, I don't mean non-physical. I just mean you should keep your genitals out of the intimacy. You can still kiss, touch, grab, hold, roll around in bed, and all that kind of stuff, as the usual kind of love making... JUST, without the use of genitals...

[Hooo!]

Yes maybe i will have the revelation that it sucks to pointlessly go without sex for 3 months

[pcmaster]

Yes maybe i will have the revelation that it sucks to pointlessly go without sex for 3 months

"After Zachi lived all his life without sex at age of 90 he realized it wasn't worth it." That's how story ends.

[Zachi]

Hooo! Not pointlessly... If you erase the thoughts of sex from your mind, you will get rid of a distraction, that used to make it difficult for you to see the actual person that you're in a relationship with, because normally, every look at their body used to remind you of how you'd like to put your pe*** inside of them - instead of you actually seeing the lovable person you're with as a human with emotions and a story. People who have sex with their loved ones, I am sure they can still see the beauty and emotions in their partner, but from time to time, they will also get distracted and then their minds will play games with them, where they have to distinguish between a f***able body and a lovable person... And it's not good for a relationship, if you always have to distinguish between those two things. The only way, you can get the pure experience of only seeing your loved one, as a lovable person, and not an opportunity for sex, is to train your mind to stop thinking of them as a f***able body. You can't do that, if you have sex with them. You need to get used to the thought of your loved one, not being a person you'd have sex with - and yes, it will be difficult, yes it will take some time. But if you give it 3 months, I am sure you'd discover something positive, and you'd feel a much closer connection to that person, than you did before, when your mind kept distracting you with useless sexual thoughts... I mean, sex is nothing but an addiction. But if you work on it, you can get rid of that useless and non-romantic addiction, and learn to enjoy the relationship a lot more.

Give it a try, and see what happens.
Actually, I wasn't planning to live my entire life without sex. I recently had a girlfriend, who broke up with me, because she thought I should support her with money, which I didn't think was my responsibility as her boyfriend. But anyways, before we had our money issues that split us apart, she also wanted to "do it" with me. I explained the same thing to her, that we should try not to do it, because it would make the relationship a lot more romantic and non-distractive from useless sexual thoughts. So we came to a compromise, that we would stay together for 3 months, and then we would "do it". So that she could have a chance at experiencing my vision of true love, and then I could give her strange idea of me putting my **** inside of her a try as well, afterwards. So that was our compromise, and our agreement. If it wasn't for the breakup (which is caused by reasons not related to this subject) I would have still been waiting for those 3 months to pass. So I am not saying, I wouldn't give it a try either. I am sure it wouldn't have changed anything, and I would still find it inappropriate to have sex with a person I love - BUT I am just saying: I was willing to give it a try, so now you guys give MY idea a try.

Ps. I like how this forum automatically blinks out my "dirty" words with * symbols. It's like, in some way, it is not accepted to talk about sex - but people still call it "love making" despite not being allowed to use words that are related to such activities here. It's funny and contradicting... This just shows how ridiculous the whole concept of "making love" is. You can't even describe in details here on LOVE FORUM what "love making" really is, because you'll get most of your words blinked out. Very contradicting...

[Hooo!]

I'm all for not putting sex on a pedestal

Yes it's intimate
Yes it's important
Yes it's nice

But that holds true for taking a big shit in the toilet too
And if i maybe stopped and didn't take a big shit for three months then maybe my ass would feel like being new born again.
Ye well
I'm not tempted

[Zachi]

No, you shouldn't stop taking a shit for three months LOL
But maybe you should try not to make it a part of your relationship with your loved one. It's your own business whenever you go to the toilet, and it's not an experience meant to be shared with your loved one.

Same goes for sex.
You don't have to stop fantasizing, and "doing it" with yourself for three months...
All I am saying is, you should try not to make the body of the person you love to become the subject for your sexual fantasies. Leave that out of the relationship!

[pcmaster]

Cmon man, you are virgin, why do you teach about sex other people if you never did it yourself.

[Zachi]

Sometimes, you don't need the experience to use your common sense

[pcmaster]

Sometimes, you don't need the experience to use your common sense

Well, good luck inside a pussy with your common sense then!

[Hooo!]

Because making the body of the one you love be the middle point of your sexual fantasies is about the worst thing that could happen to you and them...

That makes asbolute common sense

Oh wait. No it doesn't. Not at all

[TheEvilJester]

[MENTION=71386]TheEvilJester[/MENTION] - You are a good person. But I just wish you'd go further and agree with me 100%. Maybe you should try being in a relationship, where you don't have sex at all for let's say 3 months. Then afterwards, you can try to notice the changes it made in that relationship. Maybe you'll realize that the absence of sex actually improves the romantic spirit... Who knows?

I'd have to HAVE a relationship in the first place. LOL! But truthfully, you may be talking to one of the only other guys on earth who COULD be in a relationship and go 3 months without sex and not have the slightest problem with it. Heck, truth be told, I could be in a relationship that didn't involve sex at all and be perfectly happy with it... as long as it wasn't just a symptom of something being wrong. In other words, if we are in a relationship but never have sex... but she WANTS sex and just doesn't truly love me... yeah, then I'd rather be alone. If we are truly in love, we are plenty intimate (we hold hands, cuddle, kiss, etc.), and for whatever reason sex just isn't part of that.... I actually could be completely fine with that. It's just pretty unlikely in the world we live in these days.

I think my views actually align a lot with what GLYC was saying, actually. That sex can be fun and pleasurable, and it should be able to be part of a happy, healthy relationship if that is what both want. It just shouldn't be THE most important thing in my personal opinion. I 100% agree that the world we live in these days is way too damned over-sexualized.