What do I do now then?

[WolfyUK]

Ok, here's my story...

When I moved to London, about 2 months later I met a girl. We kicked things off real quick and became intimate within about 6 weeks. We did almost everything together. I was only 17 and she was 20 but we made the best couple I can think of.

Stupidly - about 10 months of dating her I wanted to have a bit of space. We saw eachother every day and she was one of these girls who was paranoid about her looks no matter how much you comforted her. Foolishly, I broke up with her.

Although we had a history, we still saw eachother near enough every day and we spoke on the phone an awful lot. It was just like dating, but not so intimate. We didn't kiss or anything like that so we were just like best friends. We were like this for a year and things were great...

But now she's met someone and I'm seething with jealousy. Well, I'm not sure if I'm jealous because I think I still love her. I can't stand the idea of her having someone else. Maybe I'm just being possessive or something?

She claims she still has feelings for me and she started dating this new guy to get over me. I've told her how I feel and she'd date me again but she doesn't want to just get rid of this other fellow for no reason. It's a little harsh to tell a guy to go away because something better has turned up, isn't it? She doesn't love him - or so she says.

I've been reading threads here and I guess the most obvious is to loose contact - but I can't. I tried today but she doesn't want to lose me again and to be honest I don't want to lose her either.

What should I do now? I stopped eating for 7 days. When I'm around her I feel so happy, she even managed to persuade me to eat something. I hurt so much when she talks to this new guy or whenever he texts her or she texts him. I'm now 19 and she's just turned 22.

I'm so puzzled as to what I should do. Any info would be great but remember - we don't want to lose contact at any costs.

Thanks guys

[TAVS]

Well then you've ruled out all your options with the exception of just dealing with it.

[Debunkt]

Well, unfortunately you made the decision to break up with her, and that obviously entales that she will eventually want to find another mate. I recommend you constantly remind yourself of the reasons you broke up with her, as this is probably the only way you keep yourself from wanting her so much. No contact is always the best option though. Otherwise, you just better tell her how you feel, and if she doesn't feel the same way, there's nothing you can do but to continue living your life. You'll be fine. You're young, and you've got time to meet more amazing people. No worries.

[WolfyUK]

Yikes, cutting contact is the only real option here? Damn, that's a shame. I'll try to cope and just see how it goes. Thanks for the quick response TAVS =)

[WolfyUK]

I wish I didn't break up with her now, I really do regret it. I've told her how I feel - but she can't just tell this guy to go away for no real reason. I'll try my best to move on, and thanks for the help Debunkt.

[TAVS]

Cutting contact is not the only real option.

1. Date Again
2. Separate
3. Find a way to be friends but not face heartache every day
4. Friends with benefits
5. Find someone new

[whaywardj]

Hogwash. Women break up with men for other men everyday. It's a lame excuse she's fielding and it's more likely she wants to investigate her options further.

But I wouldn't mention anything like that to her. After all, you DID send her on her way.

If it were me, I'd remain on as amicable terms as possible with her and let it play out without putting any pressure on her whatsoever. Let the other guy's jealously work on your behalf. Sooner or later, he'll get threatened by her friendship with you and send her on her way...right back to you.

Don't read anything into any of it. Shit sometimes happens and this might be one of those instances. Take it all in stride. And IF you guys get back together, forget about it and move on together. It will have been water under the bridge and there's no percentage for either of you to hold grudges about any of it.

As for that gnawing going on in the center of your gut meanwhile, well, you're just have to figure out ways of living around it for a little while. You made the bed. Now you're sleeping in it. Consider it a character builder.

[Rosebud]

Hmm, a lot of good words above!! Not much more for me to add to them except don't starve yourself over this. It is upsetting but things have a funny way of working themselves out. Stay strong, and just try and get your mind on other things that make you happy. This way when you do talk to her you will have other things to talk about aside from her new relationship, and not to mention it will make you feel better.