So..we were exclusive for about a month and a half. Everything seemed good..we hadn't had a fight/argument etc. We were pretty open w/ each other. Everything seemed ok. One day..she texts me and says it's over between her and I and she didnt' want a boyfriend right now. I thought what a bad excuse. I called her back and left a vm on her cell saying I would like an explanation. I left it at that and no further contact.
Fast forward 3 days and I see her at a house party. So naturally I wanted some answers and pulled her aside and asked her What happened between her and I. She said that she got scared of getting serious and her past relationships have been really bad. She then proceeds to tell me that she didn't want to talk about it right at the moment so I told her to call me. She then proceeded to tell me I looked really good that night and told me, she was really attracted to me. I dismissed it since she was kinda buzzed but she admitted that she was attracted to me before she started drinking.
So question to all....
Was that a bullshit excuse/cop out?
Will she call?
What should I do? Should I call in a few days?
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Thread: Just saw the ex...ugh...
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12-11-05, 08:06 PM #1
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Just saw the ex...ugh...
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12-11-05, 08:11 PM #2
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Keep with the no contact dude. She ended things, right? Why complicate things more? If she calls you, good, if not, move on!
-to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.- e.e.cummings
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12-11-05, 08:35 PM #3
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Yep. Roll with it. It's annoying as hell when they do abrupt shit like that, but trying to get them to make it make sense to you just makes things worse.
Speak less. Say more.
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12-11-05, 09:00 PM #4
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Yeah I hear ya. Shit like this suck. Trying to get over somebody and then they reappear.
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12-11-05, 09:09 PM #5
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Had occasion to deal with that very "in it then not in it" matter recently for over three years. The only thing that kept me from going crazy was to make myself NOT CARE. Finally got to the point where she became nothing more in my mind than a disembodied voice at the other end of a telephone. Once she realized I wasn't having any reactions, just being polite, she stopped calling me. Had to throw an angry email or two fit beforehand, though, to kick-start herself to that position.
Last edited by whaywardj; 12-11-05 at 09:12 PM.
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12-11-05, 09:33 PM #6
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Oh man..3 years..how did you put up w/ that?? Sigh..I'd cut off contact altogether actually. Yeah..I have to not care.
Worst was me having a few drinks in me then coming home and trying to sleep but this shit just kept popping into my head. ****in alcohol!
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12-11-05, 10:41 PM #7
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I kept extending to her the benefit of doubt in an attempt to offer her every opportunity to take the plunge with me. It got to be an easy thing to do when I realized none of it was about me. I was just the object around which she focused all her stresses concerning affairs of the heart. Figured once she processed all she needed to she'd come round. Finally grew tired of waiting for her to get off her treadmill and lost interest. BTW, alcohol is a depressant. Might want to avoid it duing such times. Just magnifies the issues. And, since alcohol also impairs one's judgment, can lead to some pretty stupid, if not dangerous, impulsive behaviors. Not to imply you are habitually either stupid or dangerous. Just to note that alcohol tends to make it difficult to know when you are being so. Impairs judgment.
Last edited by whaywardj; 12-11-05 at 10:45 PM.
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12-11-05, 10:48 PM #8
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Yeah..that's just abuse. I don't want to be that but I also need some closure from my ex. I'm clinging for a 2nd chance with her. She was by far the best girl I've ever met. And being together for such a short time where we barely even broke through the crust of the relationship, I feel like I want to give it a 2nd chance. Blah..ugh.
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12-11-05, 10:55 PM #9
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In a way, it was abusive. Could never get that across to her. Nor the idea that I wasn't the guy she seemed so intent on punishing, but ANOTHER, different guy.
But as to your sitch: Don't waste your time trying to second-guess any whys or wherefores. They're too myriad to list and you can't read her mind anyway. Just loosen your grip a little on the hope you won't have to let her go. Do nothing to put any stress on her. Do everything to make her feel comfortable in your company. If that's not enough to cause her to warm up again to you, then you don't want her. Too ****in' high-maintenance.Speak less. Say more.
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13-11-05, 02:24 AM #10
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Good advice, Hayward.
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13-11-05, 04:11 AM #11
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Heh a month and a half? Yeah, stick with no contact.
