Very Tough Times :(

[whaywardj]

Ladies, if you were as indirect about your discontents when they FIRST began emerging as you seem to be about leaving, then I'm not suprised the men never saw any of "it" coming, blinders on or no.

[Junsui]

Hayward you're so smart

I've done that before. There were always problems, but the guys I have been with never even saw them even when I pointed them out over and over again. Yes, some women need to learn to be more direct, just like some guys need to learn how to pay attention.

[shh!]

the guys I have been with never even saw them even when I pointed them out over and over again. Yes, some women need to learn to be more direct, just like some guys need to learn how to pay attention.

I agree with this post. I kind of doubt that either you, bluesummer or myself have a problem with being direct, although I understand a lot of women do have this problem. heck, I've seen a few marriages that even I (an outsider) could see was heading for divorce, and the guy claimed he never saw it coming.

[whaywardj]

Yep. There's that. To be sure.

In my eyes, it boils to this: At base, men don't like and fear change, especially any for which we haven't given our permission. (Funny. Had occasion to say that just a minute ago, elsewhere.) We get selective hearing a lot when the sounds coming across suggest change might be in the air.

[whaywardj]

Has this turned into a man-bashing thread?

[bluesummer]

Ha ha, no. But I do have to agree with Junsui and Shh, because I've never had a problem pointing out all the things that were going wrong again and again. I guess we are having a problem with men using their selective hearing as an excuse for not seeing problems along the way.

But we obviously still love men, because we keep getting ourselves all silly over them.

[Lion-Guy]

Well, it's exactly what I'm going through right now, so my insight seems to be a little clearer these days. I decided months ago that my relationship was done. But given the history behind us, you would've thought he would've figured it out too. But no, apparently he 'never saw it coming'. Yeah, it's easy to miss things coming at you when you've had blinders on the entire time.

I wish this was the case for me, but it is not. I knew things were not going well between us for a while but every time I asked her about us she would say things are ok and that she was just unhappy about herself. She just moved to a new city with me and didn't know what she wanted to do career wise. This woman is very reluctant to express her feelings to anyone, even her own parents and best friend. If she would have been more open and honest things could have been worked out or ended long before we got to this point. Instead, she hid her feelings inside for months. Now I am left with a severely broken heart.

[bluesummer]

Well see, that's just wrong. She should've been more communicative.

[whaywardj]

I once got what has to be in the Top Ten of the Strange Things Women Say list.

After weeks of online exchanges, meet her on a Friday afternoon and she stays over 'till Sunday evening. Mad love-making all weekend. Went home. Emails ensued. Wonderful weekend. Lovely time. Get together again next weekend. Blah. Blah. Oh, BTW. Mattress wasn't comfortable to sleep on. Too soft. I go out and buy a new, extra-firm mattress next day. Next weekend rolls around. She arrives. Oh! I got a new mattress. Come see. I go to the bedroom and bounce on the mattress. She leans against the doorjamb, looking at me dubiously. Here. Try it out. See if you like it. I smilingly pat a spot on the bed next to me. She shakes her head and walks away. I figure she's going to drop her purse or something and be right back.

I wait. I wait. I wait. I get up and look around my house. She's not there. I go out to the driveway. Her car is gone. I send her an email, essentially saying, "Whaaa?" She replies: "I knew the second I did it, it was wrong of me to sleep with you on our first date. I was very offended you thought I'd just hop in bed with you again the next time I saw you." Disregarding the peculiarity of staying with me all weekend despite having second thoughts the first second, I answer: "I just wanted you to check out the mattress by sitting on it. Sex wasn't even on my mind. In any case, you could've said something..." She replies: "I didn't go in the bedroom. I leaned up against the door instead. You should've read my mood and taken my hints."

True story.

[bluesummer]

Some women just annoy the hell out of me. The ones that sleep with you and claimed 'they never should have done it' are one of them. Please. What the hell kind of excuse is that for anything?

[whaywardj]

I guess you have to read their moods and take their hints to know the answer that, Bluesummer. It's always escaped me, as well. All I can conjure up behind it is Looney Tunes.

[Junsui]

lol A lot of us could learn to communicate better.

[Lloyd95]

Junsui, who's in your avatar?

[Junsui]

Jennifer Garner

[Lloyd95]

REally? I don't even like her.