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Thread: He says I need to text him first. What gives?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
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    Female
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    9

    He says I need to text him first. What gives?

    So, things have progressed since my last post. We have gone out 3 times. Gotten physical. Great chemistry. Great times. But, something is off.

    Radio silence when we are not together or chatting at work. Aside from "on my way" texts and when he initially text me when I gave him my number, he has initiated contact TWICE.

    On all 3 of our dates he has openly said "text me first. No no no text me you're not bothering me. I'll be staring at my phone text me." On our first date he said he doesn't like "constant communication" and "would rather call someone". He has never called me.

    Huh?!

    I know I need to pin him down for an actual explanation for this. But what gives? I have reached out a few times but I feel honestly uncomfortable...like I'm chasing/being the aggressor. And it comes across as disinterested on his part.

    Thoughts?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
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    Male
    Location
    Minnesota, United States
    Posts
    653
    Honestly, been in this position before, as the guy doing that.

    He might just want some kind of reassurance that you care.

    The thing with today is, everyone is concerned about coming across as desperate, or needy.
    He's probably intentionally holding back, probably as a technique to, like I said, see if you care and will reach out, or thinking it will raise your interest.

    Honestly, I do the same thing, generally. Just calling to setup dates. It really is better to get to know someone in person. Texts can have miscommunication and they aren't happening in real time per say.

    The thing is. Everyone is different and has different needs. You can let him know that you'd like to hear from him from time to time. That's where good communication comes in. Some women chase guys, some hate texting, some love getting those random sporadic texts, etc. It's different for different people.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
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    Female
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    1,066
    LOL. Quarrels about who text who is ridiculous. The fact that he actually tells you he needs you to text him first already shows he is extremely insecure and immature.

    I would do one of the following or a combination of (because I am sort of a bitch and I have lost respect for this guy):

    1) laugh at his childishness (say something along the lines of "You need me to text you first? Are you in high school?" unless of course you guys are both in high school)

    2) Give him what he wants and do text him first but only if you need something

    3) Go radio silence, don't ever initiate, but respond to him. (at this point, you should already be over him)
    A strong woman takes advantage of help she can get from people around her but she doesn't rely on them for anything

    She uses logic and manages her emotions

    She offers help either because it is a business transaction or out of kindness. It is never because she hopes others will return the favour or out of fear of losing them

    She has her own mind and thinks for herself and knows that she has to be the one who bears the consequences of her decisions

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Minnesota, United States
    Posts
    653
    Eh, its honestly kind of a minor road bump. I think theres a lot worse things that could be going on.

    The reality is, everyone has quirks and flaws. If this is his one flaw, I'd say it's pretty good.
    Just talk to him about it. Communication is key.

    It's all about being teammates and growing together.

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