From favorite, to hated, and hopefully back but how?

[fuzzy7slippers]

So while at school I had heard rumors of this girl (Latifa) who was absolutely nuts about me. She loved me and talked about me non stop and was afraid for me to even see her. Well, after a while we began talking and hanging out and she would be at my place until 2 or 3 in the morning every night, and she would stop over unexpectedly at 2 am just to say hi and to hang out. Times were good then.

About 3 weeks ago I went shopping with her and one of her friends (Chelsey) and things went really well as usual. Later that night I asked Latifa for her friends AIM name and she got really mad. Now I had been friends with and was talking to both of these girls for the past few weeks but I never talked to Chelsey without Latifa being around. It turns out that Latifa got very mad at both of us and hasnt talked to either of us for the last 3 weeks.

I guess I should say that I wanted to talk to Chelsey so I could have her help me with a few things that were really bothering me about my relationship with latifa and some personal depression problems I have been dealing with. I was having a very hard time being myself around Latifa because I thought if she really found out who I was and that I had trouble with depression that she would leave me, and Chelsey helped me with that. So then even though Latifa wasnt talking to me anymore I called her and left a message on her phone about how chelsey helped me and I wanted to be honest and told her that I wasnt being myself all the time but it was because I was afraid of her leaving and yadda yadda. That didnt go over well and she seems to be more mad at me than ever because I know she hates "fake" people. I know that I was being fake but now that I would feel comfortable being myself around her she doesnt want anything to do with me. I really feel like I did things that bother her but I felt as though at the time I did them for the right reasons. I think those reasons are forgiveable. I dont know what to do, any advice. Please let me know if I wasnt exactly clear on all this.

[whaywardj]

Oh, yeah. The old "we're just friends talking about my problems with you" excuse. Well known and rightfully disdained. I'd be angry with you, too.

Look, cuz: You NEVER, NEVER, EVER ask for another woman's number in the company of your gf. NEVER. You shouldn't be talking to her friend about your problems, in the first place. You should be talking with HER about them.

You blew it. Even if you recover from it, she'll always have doubts about you now.

[fuzzy7slippers]

hey, I became friends with both of them at the same time. Also, this girl put restrictions on me like we were dating but she refused to admit that we actually were. We never really went out anywhere. We would just hang out at each others apartments, but anytime I would make any mention of dating she blew it off.

[whaywardj]

Like I said, you NEVER, NEVER...

In this context, there's really no defense for asking for another woman's number, and asking your gf, herself, for the contact info was just monumentally ill-mannered of you. Obviously, you didn't consider her feelings at all before you uttered the words. Now you're paying the consequence for that lack of thoughtfulness.

On the other hand, showing up unannounced at two in the morning is also ill-mannered. Maybe you're better off she ISN'T talking to you. Maybe the other girl is one you're supposed to be hanging out with. Seems you and she have a much better rapport with each other.

[Junsui]

I agree with Hayward.

[misombra]

i too agree.

[mini696]

I three agree... It isntantly creates jealousy, and thoughts of "he must like her more than me"

[Rosebud]

Yep would agree with Hayward... It's disrepsectful to get a number in front of someone else like that.