Confused with the girl I'm seeing...

[Uniden]

So, I broke up with my girl friend of two years about five months ago, right before Summer. Throughout Summer, we were seeing eachother, and I was still in love with her. But the first week of school, she broke things off with me and saw another guy(a friend of mine...douche! Hehe ; ) ) I was totally destroyed at the time, but I decided to stop talking to her at all, and just move on. I had a friend I knew, and we started hanging out. For the first couple weeks after my break up with my girlfriend, I had no feelings what-so-ever for her. Just thought she was hot! But, after three-four weeks of not talking to my ex, I decided I was over her and said I was ready to start having feelings for this new girl. By the way, I'm 17, and a senior at high school.

She came over one Friday, we ate dinner, and we watched a movie. During the movie, I made out with her, etc etc. Basically, I found out she was interested in me more then I thought. After this, at school, I started hanging out with her at lunch all the time. I hung out with her for a couple weeks to the point where I got really clingy-like, and I knew that it turned her off, so we decided to not talk for a week just so we can see what we really want. At first, she said she didn't want a boy friend, but now she saying she is indifferent about it and might want to. She tells me she really likes me. Once, after two weeks of not talking, I asked her if I've been clingy. At first, she said "Well, you're not clingy, that's not the right word." (Which I read as 'you're clingy' hahaha. Girl's being too nice.), but then I asked more specifically recently, and she said "Not at all."

But, one problem, is that I get jealous very easily. At first, she was being really flirty with some of our friends, and I didn't know they were that close. I didn't know they were really good buddies, so I got jealous. She noticed it, and I'm sure she was very turned off from it. This was one of the other reasons we decided to not talk for a week.

Another problem is that I have pretty low-self-esteem, and that I'm paranoid about how she feels for me. She gets really pissed off when I say "Do you still like me?" and stuff like that. I just couldn't resist asking since it seemed like she was pissed, but she was just having a really bad day. This was a few weeks ago, and I don't do it anymore, since I'm confident now that she DOES like me, and even if I'm feeling that way, I'm just not going to ask. Lately, I've been feeling better about myself, and have more confidence then usual. I'm guessing it's extra sleep and eatting in the morning, hehe. But, lately, I try and feel like I'm confident and secure all the time, even if I'm not. Do you have any tips for gaining even more confidence?


So, my questions/statements are:

1. How can I stop being jealous? Lately, I have not been jealous at all, but I want to show this to her so she becomes more attracted. I just realized I needed to loosen up and give her space. I told her that I don't mind anymore since she's really only friends with them, and that I realized I act that way subcounciously with some of my good female friends, too, but I think she's not buying it. One day, I told her how I felt the night I was feeling jealous, and she said she didn't want to have to prove that she liked me all the time. I felt like a total douche afterward and realized my mistake. How can I fight my inner-jealously that occurs once in a while, and show it to her?

2. I think I'm pushing her away since I've been so busy lately. I don't want to make it seem like I'm making plans JUST so I can give her space. Sometimes, I do do that, but I think I might be going too far that it seems like I'm really avoiding her. It really seems like I'm not talking to her enough. I'm just trying to give the right amount of space. She texted me today to see how I was doing at dawn, so, I'm seeing this as SHE wants to talk to me. So, I called her twenty minutes later. Just from this broad generalization, do you think she truly is missing me? I didn't talk or see her at all yesterday, and she gave me a nice hug and told me she missed me. I was really tired and out-of-the-mood since I had a test, so I shyly said I missed her, too. I just wish I could say it more confidently and sweetly. After the test, I went a way to just give her a kiss on the cheek, and pretended I had to go quickly to meet someone. She seemed to like it, hehe.

3. I think the new girl thinks I'm not over my ex. At one point of a conversation about my friends, I said in a normal manner "Oh yeah, ::insert-ex:: is dating that guy now." and she responded with "Aren't you pissed?" or something like that. She told me later that at the beginning of the relationship that she felt like a rebound. I knew she felt this way, and I tried to tell her that there was no way in hell she was, even though it totally seemed like it. The feelings didn't start until I was totally comftorable about the break-up. I feel like I'm totally over the ex, and we just talked, and said we'd be cool being semi-friends.

4. I really like this girl and I want to be her boy friend. I'm really going to try and make things work. One thing is though, and we've already talked about it, is that college is right around the corner, and that I might not stick around very close. If we end up staying together for a while and pick the same college, or a college very close to each other, then I'd definitely stay. But, I'm really not down for a long-distance relationship. I'd rather focus on having fun in college then worrying about a girl far away. But, love is love, and it's possible something like that could happen eventually. Is this selfish/greedy/wrong?


Any advice/suggestions/criticisms are GREATLY appreciated! Thanks a lot if you can help! I might post more info as it flows through my head, hehe.

[Junsui]

Well, once you gain confidence the jealousy will start to subside. Now how to get confidence is different for anyone. What problem areas do you see yourself having? Work on those. Do things to better yourself in all areas of your life. Helping others will usually make you feel better about yourself. Don't talk about your ex with her or in front of her. I'm not saying you do, but talking about your ex often is usually a sign that you aren't over them. I'm sure with time, this girl will see that you're over your ex.
No, it is not selfish to want to enjoy your college career. If you choose to start a relationship with this girl, do so knowing that it may not go anywhere once you two graduate. Long distance relationships are hard and if you aren't really commited to making it work, then there is no point in being in one. Even if you two do end up at the same college, you still might want to try being single once you're there. Personally, I would try to not get too serious with her since you do only have half a year left, right? Just enjoy y'alls time together and don't expect too much, but be sure to find out what she's looking for as well.