Playing Hard to Get...

[Zekk_T_Strife]

I had a pretty extensive conversation with one of my female friends the other night about the concept of playing hard to get. Apparently, according to her, it's something that's encouraged in order to entice folks of the other sex. Does anyone practice it? Or find it appealing?

I've dated three girls who practiced it and only managed to lose my interest extremely quickly. One of them makes plans with me and gets all excited then disappears a few days beforehand only to call me after our schedules plans with some kind of excuse. Another simply doesn't answer her phone often. When she does we make plans, go through with them, and have a blast together, but contacting her is more than half the battle. The third will have hot and cold nights. Sometimes she'll be all over me and uber affectionate only to follow the next time with being extremely distant and evasive, then back to affectionate the next time.

Anyone else have any thoughts on the concept of playing hard to get? I've always just found it to be a way to screw up something that could have potential, but I may just be more direct about things than others.

[Vanilla Gilr]

In my opinion, any kind of game playing is stupid. I want to be able to be myself and anyone who I'm thinking of spending time with...I want them to be themselves. If you can't be real with your partner...if you can't have that trust...then what's it all for?

Keep being open and honest like you are...someone like you could never be happy being any less.

[Rosebud]

Depending on what the person does it could lead to exactly how you felt in those situations. The key is to not make yourself so distant, and yet not available all the time. They say absence makes the heart grow founder and it does, as long as you don't pull yourself completely away. You have to have some kind of a challenge and not make it so easy, but yet keep them intrigued.

[whaywardj]

I'm in your court, Zekk. Unecessary, damaging and a waste of my time.

[Rosebud]

I agree it's a waste of time. But for some odd reason people from the age of like 16-21 usually fall for these things and or do it themselves.

[shh!]

If they are playing hard to get to the point that you don't want them anymore, then they obviously aren't playing it well...

Your first girl is just plain rude - not hard to get.
Girl number two just sounds like she has a life and may, indeed, be hard to get.
Girl number three is probably either bi-polar or suffering from PMS.

[bluesummer]

I hate games. I'm not going to play games with any man because I know it's frustrating, and it's too much work. Playing hard to get is alright when you're in high school, but in a real adult relationship....when you really want to get to know a person, you just want all the bs out of the way, and you want to get down to business.

[whaywardj]

That was one of the nice things about passing 40. All the bullshit just fell away.

[bluesummer]

I wish it would all fall away sooner. Seriously, we would save ourselves a lot of failed relationships and stress if everyone was a lot more straightforward.

Note to self: Do not waste one more day on men who play mind games.

[whaywardj]

I don't know that it can happen sooner, Bluesummer. Or, at least, not easily. Takes some time to see all the subtle ways we bullshit ourselves.

[bluesummer]

I know, and that's unfortunate. However, there are some people that learn these lessons sooner in life than others.....of course, there are some that never learn at all.

[Late_vamp]

I know, and that's unfortunate. However, there are some people that learn these lessons sooner in life than others.....of course, there are some that never learn at all.

i am straight up since the start , i wasnt always like this , i changed when i was 17 ... i was supposed to marry my GF at the time , when we broke up , i figured i dint want to have a BS relationship thats meaningless . so im just straight up with my date/GF now . if everything is working well , then it should continue because we were both direct and we dint play games .

what do you think about "tests" ? like your gf/bf sends one of his attractive friends (that you dont know their friends) to put you on the spot to see if youll cheat or stay committed .

[Vanilla Gilr]

I wish it would all fall away sooner. Seriously, we would save ourselves a lot of failed relationships and stress if everyone was a lot more straightforward.

Note to self: Do not waste one more day on men who play mind games.

You might want to include females on that note also. There are those that will portray themselves to be caring people..yet they will try subtle means to hurt you...to make themselves feel better. Female friends can play just as many mind games as the man in your life.

[bluesummer]

You might want to include females on that note also. There are those that will portray themselves to be caring people..yet they will try subtle means to hurt you...to make themselves feel better. Female friends can play just as many mind games as the man in your life.

Ah, but that's the most ridiculous part.....I seem to have less tolerance for women that play mind games. All my friends are genuine, straight talking people, because I can't stand to be around anything but. Which is now starting to make me wonder why I haven't been so choosy with my male partners. Hmmmmm......

[Mish]

I've dated three girls who practiced it and only managed to lose my interest extremely quickly. One of them makes plans with me and gets all excited then disappears a few days beforehand only to call me after our schedules plans with some kind of excuse. Another simply doesn't answer her phone often. When she does we make plans, go through with them, and have a blast together, but contacting her is more than half the battle. The third will have hot and cold nights. Sometimes she'll be all over me and uber affectionate only to follow the next time with being extremely distant and evasive, then back to affectionate the next time

There is no better way to get onto my bad side than pulling stunts like that. I get irritated and confronting very quickly when i suspect someone playing games with me. My dating experience thankfully, lets me pick out the bad apples from the bunch fairly quickly, I really don't think they're worth the time, the space and the effort. There are too many nice and considerate to the feelings of others girls out there to waste your breath on the rotten ones... (Like the one i met today, mmm)

Oh yes, agree with everything Shh! mentioned earlier