Is he my "boyfriend"?

[Blue103]

Hello,

Just trying to figure out what's going on exactly.

I'm a member of an online forum. I'm also married (I'm a woman). A few weeks ago, an older single man on the forum started showing me lots of attention, and we started talking about quite personal subjects (nothing sexual). Being somewhat unsatisfied in my marriage, I suggested to him that we begin a "relationship" which involved nothing sexual or innappropriate but basically, a chat friendship. He said "I'm quite happy to past the flirty stage with you".

So, we exchanged Whatsapp information and he also added me to another site he was on. We chat every day... he's sent me a couple of pictures of himself (not nude) and I have sent him a few also.

He wanted to chat on the phone, but we haven't yet, for a few reasons.

He has a lot going on at work so our chats are quite brief, and he seems to be guarded in what he tells me. I think it's because I'm married. He said "I would love to tell you to leave your husband and be mine, but we have to be realistic."

So, my question is, can I consider him my "boyfriend"? I am not sure if he even wants to be in this "relationship"... it is awkward and it's hardly a relationship at all, at this point.

(Spare the lecture about me being married, I KNOW, but this is a very very innocent friendship we are talking about.)

[Hooo!]

What do you want?

[Gina.G]

He's not your boyfriend.

[CantMoveOn]

You considered him your - "online" - boyfriend, does he see himself as that too? Do you want this relationship with him because it is safe and only words, never need to actually meet? Why not separate from the husband and pursue him and see what it is like in person, not online.

[lovebroken]

He seems more like a fantasy for you, and escape from your unhappy life with your husband.

[Blue103]

I tried to break it off yesterday... but he says we should think of us as just friends, and consider the distance (he lives on the other side of the world).... he spent two hours this morning texting me. Of course I will never meet him. I just enjoy him as a chat buddy (but I find him madly attractive)

[CantMoveOn]

But you find him sexually attractive, and that takes it past friendship, doesn't it, at least on your part. Were you feeling guilty? Why you tried to break it off?