mixed signals

[fest]

Well,

my problem is with guys mostly is I get a feeling that they do not know what they want.

They will flirt with me, saying that they want to see more of me, want to date me, or attempt to tickle me sometimes. Then when I gradually warm up to them, they seem to stall. They brake suddenly and appear cold, as though they are no longer interested in me. They do not attempt to initiate conversation anymore, even though before they were always the ones who initiated MSN or phone messages. When I initiate conversation, they don't even try to keep the conversation going.

When I get discouraged over how the whole thing is going and I decide to stop trying, they come back again. I've even have a guy who told me that he would want to see more of me and asked me what kind of guy do I go for. And I asked him what's with today that he is trying so hard to ask me out. He said, that he is going to do so from now on. But then he had been playing me out for a couple of times, claiming that he was busy or he had forgotten.

The signals are super mixed-up and it is 2 guys now that are giving me a headache. I also had a guy before who didn't know what he wanted and he drove me crazy until I told him to just forget the whole business and remain as friends. He then continued to try to ask me out even though he was already attached, claiming that it was all in the name of friendship. I am beginning to wonder if there is a problem with me that I attract guys who don't know what they want. I have absolutely no idea what I should do when it comes to them. It seems like they are only interested in a relationship with me when I give up all hope in them. What should I do?

[Debunkt]

give up on them. No point in continuing to pursue a relationship with guys like that. Just find someone else. There are guys out there who will know what they want.

[whaywardj]

Welcome to the dubious world of male role-model playing. I take it all these guys are pretty young or, if not that, immature. They're just practicing male role-playing on you. God forbid anything real come of any of it, since they haven't yet got that far into the roles they're practicing and have no idea what to do should the role-playing produce any results...such as genuine interest being returned, for example. Rather like the proverbial little puppy that chases cars and, finally catching one, realizes it hasn't the slightest idea what to do with it.

Ignore them and aim your sights higher up on the maturation ladder.

[Ekips]

Ah, you can be young once, but you can always be immature...

Maybe they're not immature, maybe they just are afraid to be straight-foward. Do the same to them, till they snap and ask you out directly.

[jaye]

Well,

my problem is with guys mostly is I get a feeling that they do not know what they want.

They will flirt with me, saying that they want to see more of me, want to date me, or attempt to tickle me sometimes. Then when I gradually warm up to them, they seem to stall. They brake suddenly and appear cold, as though they are no longer interested in me. They do not attempt to initiate conversation anymore, even though before they were always the ones who initiated MSN or phone messages. When I initiate conversation, they don't even try to keep the conversation going.

When I get discouraged over how the whole thing is going and I decide to stop trying, they come back again. I've even have a guy who told me that he would want to see more of me and asked me what kind of guy do I go for. And I asked him what's with today that he is trying so hard to ask me out. He said, that he is going to do so from now on. But then he had been playing me out for a couple of times, claiming that he was busy or he had forgotten.

The signals are super mixed-up and it is 2 guys now that are giving me a headache. I also had a guy before who didn't know what he wanted and he drove me crazy until I told him to just forget the whole business and remain as friends. He then continued to try to ask me out even though he was already attached, claiming that it was all in the name of friendship. I am beginning to wonder if there is a problem with me that I attract guys who don't know what they want. I have absolutely no idea what I should do when it comes to them. It seems like they are only interested in a relationship with me when I give up all hope in them. What should I do?

well first of all
welcome to lf, i am jaye.
here is what i think. guys usually are not patient. when they go for girls, now this here i am talking about media revolution and 2005 back in 90s it was different. 90% of guys now a day think that girl are cruel with them and bad guy image is taking all the good girls and so therefor they will not just ask someone out and wait for her. this excludes love.
have you ever seen this movie "why do good girls like bad boys?"
if not check it out. there are 2 things i can say
1 - you are maybe looking at wrong guys.
2 - you need to be a bit more flirty and give guys a bit more opportunity to take you out.
Good luck

[jaye]

personally i love when women come and ask me out.
this tells me that this girl is positive and knows what she wants and how to get it.
i respect those girls 40 times more then the once i ask out.
my point is there is nothing wrong if women can go and ask a guy out.

[Tone]

You mean GUYS ASK YOU OUT??

hahahaha

[misombra]

there isn't anything wrong with that tone...

[Tone]

I know cause he's Gaye.

[mini696]

You are just hanging out with the wrongs guys... Keep trying.

[fest]

I guess, it just makes me feel that the only way I can get a guy to be interested in me is only if I am not interested in him. Then the chase gets to them. The minute I show concern or a little interest, they clam up on me.

[mini696]

We just haven't run into each other yet Fest.

I get that with the girls I go out with.

[fest]

*grrr (it happened over MSN)

I just ended a conversation with this guy who calls me sweetheart and indulge in other sweet talk. I've already pointed that out to him, calling him a sweet-talker. He said he wants to meet up with me before I leave for my trip and I've told him that he shouldn't bother, he's going to play me out like before. He ignored my jab and just continued..trying to be 'cute'.

Do I have to hit them over the head before they get it? Any ideas how I can make clear that his attitude is unacceptable?

[misombra]

yeah, quit talking to him.

[mini696]

I agree with Misombra, stop talking to him, the only thing you should have left to say is this...

*MSN conversation*

Him: Hi sweetheart are you there?
*Silence*
Him: Darling aren't you talking to me?
*More silence*
Him: Hey Gorgous... Are you there?
You: Oh are you talking to me?
Him: Yeah
You: My name is fest, I'm not your sweetheart, I've told you to stop calling me that.

etc
etc