Insecurity After Breakup

[whaywardj]

How about this, girls: Your doubtful questions don't HAVE any answers. (And they really don't, since they're all based on "what if" hypotheticals.) Nor, likely, do they have any meaning beyond providing a conduit for your minds to behave as discharging centers for the tensions your feelings are generating. The thoughts aren't important, in other words. That they, like pressure valves, spill off tension IS.

Why not just let the questions come and go as they will without attaching any importance to their having an answer or not? Why not let go of all your efforts to understand or control something that is unknowable and out of your control? Why not just be in the present, calmly observing and taking stock of what really is and isn't in your actual here and now?

[misombra]

this is why ex's need to just fall off the face of the earth.

[independent]

Because we are FEMALE

LOL

[independent]

In some ways I'm being reaffirmed, as my ex has already started to 'give up'....after two weeks. He's started getting all bitter and moody with me. I understand he's hurt, but to think he thought a couple days of tears and flowers and love letters and housecleaning would be enough to change my 'feeble' mind is sort of insulting.

Okay, well, went through this when I initially asked him to move out. He was a REAL JERK for a week or two - throwing a serious tantrum. Said some really hurtful things that made me feel confident I'd made the right choice.

Then he came to his senses, apologized profusely, and explained he was out of his mind with heartache.

So 90 days you say? Hmm. I might could do that. Maybe. Probably. Or not.

[bluesummer]

How about this, girls: Your doubtful questions don't HAVE any answers. (And they really don't, since they're all based on "what if" hypotheticals.) Nor, likely, do they have any meaning beyond providing a conduit for your minds to behave as discharging centers for the tensions your feelings are generating. The thoughts aren't important, in other words. That they, like pressure valves, spill off tension IS.

Why not just let the questions come and go as they will without attaching any importance to their having an answer or not? Why not let go of all your efforts to understand or control something that is unknowable and out of your control? Why not just be in the present, calmly observing and taking stock of what really is and isn't in your actual here and now?

Hayward, I agree with you as always. I know I'm beyond all the questions and the insecurity and the bs in general, I'm just a little frustrated why I'm letting myself get sucked in by emotions and over-analyzing.

Maybe I should just let my attitude be : Screw it, decision made. Move on.

[whaywardj]

Evidently, you didn't take to heart my initial comment on all that. "Winds of change" isn't a metaphor. Step back from the trees to see the forest of yourself and you'll see how it bends your feelings and senses as it passes. (Which IS a metaphor.)

[whaywardj]

...Screw it, decision made. Move on.

Meh. Probably not likely. Just yet.

[whaywardj]

this is why ex's need to just fall off the face of the earth.

LOL! Very doable. Just a matter of adopting the perspective that THEY HAVE.

[bluesummer]

Meh. Probably not likely. Just yet.

Hayward, I always like to come off a little colder and decisive than I actually am.

[whaywardj]

Hayward, I always like to come off a little colder and decisive than I actually am.

This, I've deduced, Milady. This I know. I find it charming, incidentally. It becomes you.

[independent]

How are you holding up, BlueSummer??

[Tone]

This, I've deduced, Milady. This I know. I find it charming, incidentally. It becomes you.

I don't like it.

;x

[bluesummer]

I don't like it.

;x

You mean you don't like my attempts to be a cold hearted *****?

I'm hurt, Tony. Very hurt.

[whaywardj]

I don't like it.

;x

I think we're talking about two different things.

[clynn]

blue summer, weren't you dating a new guy...or thinking about it....the friend of a couple-friend of yours????

or am i mixing you up with someone?