bf been texing old gf ALOT HELP

[mare]

Ok, so here is the thing, I started dating Jon last fall, kind of on and off. (He is 18 I am 17) He was still hung up on his old gf at the time. (she is 16) Some of his friends told me. Well we started getting 'serious' in about April. Anyhow, I thought she was out of the picture. She goes to a different school about 25 miles from us. They no longer worked together etc. No contact right? WRONG!

Last summer she just 'popped' over to his house (they live about 10 miles apart) to say hi. I walked over to him and put my arms around him. He talked to her a bit, she was obviously uncomfortable, so she left. I told Jon that I did not want him to see her, or talk to her. Well, he was hunting over the weekend and I was at his house with his mom and so I decided to clean his room. I found his cell phone bills and he has them itemized. My heart dropped, they tex for HOURS almost everynite! And this has been since June!I was shocked. I asked his little brother if he knew who she was, he said yea, she was hear last week watching tv with Jon. She is pretty. I about died. Well he came home last nite and while he was in the shower, I looked at his phone. Sure enough, all texes to HER, "Hey beautiful..." was one, then he asked where she was on Saturday nite. I guess she went out with some friends, some apparently were guys, and he responded 'I hate it when that guy is around you, I want to kill him". The talk was very very friendly, kind of flirtty. I got myself together and when he came out of the shower, we were watching tv. I told him I saw her on Sarturday, (Ididnt) and he was like "Where? with who?" He also never asked me what I did over the weekend!!

So, I asked him about her. He said she had never had a bf before him, I called her a little slut. He said, no, not at all. She has never had sex. She does not 'hook up", she is a 'good girl', then his dad asked who were we talking about? Jon said "Nikki" and his dad smiled and said, she was a sweetie. Then he gave Jon a wierd look and left the room.

Finally I said, WTF!! You talk to her ALL THE TIME! What the hell is going on? He swore they were just friends. Then today on the way to school, I was telling my GF about this, and her boyfriend (who knows Jon) laughed and said, "Oh Oh." then hes said that this past summer, one of Jons friends met Nikki with Jon. I guess the guy called to ask her out and Jon blewup!

Ok, so, he was in love with her, they never had sex (ha ha, he is VERY sexual and loves sex) He swears he only cares for her as a friend and swears to god that they are not dating behind my back. I had one of my friends call a friend of hers, and she said, that they were not going out as far as she knew, just good friends. BUT,

The talk EVERY NITE! He had like 800 texes TO her last month alone. He got real pissed off when I called her a slut.

So, what is going on?

[misombra]

dump him.
________

[Lloyd95]

I told Jon that I did not want him to see her, or talk to her.

I don't like that sentence; why couldn't you have talked to him first and find out what's up and express your concern; instead of forbidding him to see her?

As far as him texting her, he could just be friends with her. But, I doubt it. Talk to him and find out the truth; you may just have to move on from this one, there are plenty of guys out there, and you're young.

[Junsui]

Yeah, I would say move on. He may say they are just friends, but he likes her as more than a friend. Why did they break up? I'm friends with some of my exes, but we don't talk everyday or even every week. I wouldn't have told him to not talk to her, that's not going to do anything. Find someone else who isn't still attached to their ex.

[mare]

I am telling you, they talk like between 2 to 4 hours a nite!! He never talks to me that long!!

She broke up with him. I guess things moved to quick for her, she was 14 at the time and he was 16. Poor little girl got scared. Never been with a guy before. And according to Jon, she STILL has not.

I guess I wonder if he is still in love with her or just friends.

[Junsui]

Well, sounds like he's still in love with her.

[Tone]

You.

Gettin.

Played.

[mare]

I guess the reason I did not want him talking to her or seeing her at all was the feeling I got when I saw her. The way her dad and brother BOTH went to talk to her to kind of ease an awkward situation, BUT they were so nice and charming to her. They were all smiley and crap. Like they really liked her. I am not as pretty as her at all. That bothers me too. She is very pretty.

[Junsui]

I'm sure his family does like her.

[mare]

But why? Why is he going out with me then if he is sooo in love with her?

[Junsui]

Maybe she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. Who knows?

[NeoSeminole]

I think your bf should dump you.

[mare]

Dump me? Why?

I am not a bad person at all! I have never 'hung out' with a guy when I knew he had a gf. Well not like they seem to be doing any how. I have never ever sat and texed and talked to some guy for hours and hours, nite after nite, month after month! When I knew he had a gf! God this sucks. Iam going to hang on and fight for him. I love Jon, god this is awful. I love him.

[Junsui]

I don't see how she is a bad person. He is the one keeping that much contact with her. You are all young and you won't be with him forever, so to me it's kind of pointless to "fight for him". What are you fighting for? If he's into her more than you, there's nothing you can really do about that.

[Lloyd95]

I am not as pretty as her at all. That bothers me too. She is very pretty.

Ok, can you prove this?