Why does this always happen to me

[MastaPDiddy]

So after thinking this over a bit, I've decided there is only really one best situation for me. I'm not going to send her flowers and call her and all of that. She needs to know that I'm here for here, but at the same time I can stand on my own feet and I'll move on without her if I have to. She has until Monday to deliberate in her space, if she calls me after that, the conversation is going to be about how I need to walk away from her, because by then I would have seperated myself enough to move on.

[Late_vamp]

So after thinking this over a bit, I've decided there is only really one best situation for me. I'm not going to send her flowers and call her and all of that. She needs to know that I'm here for here, but at the same time I can stand on my own feet and I'll move on without her if I have to. She has until Monday to deliberate in her space, if she calls me after that, the conversation is going to be about how I need to walk away from her, because by then I would have seperated myself enough to move on.

i hope you keep your end of the bargain .

[blackiesharley]

That's what Elvis said.

Or like the Beatles said 'Let It Be' 'There will be an answer, let it be, and when the night is cloudy, there's a chance that they will see, let it be...'

Actually very good advice....

[Bluevetteracer]

We have all learned this lesson, and only after some time and reflection, and before this board, we discovered it was not appropriate to "move fast".

Even though you are head over heals in love, and want to marry her, your acting on this sends out a huge "I'm desperate and needy" flag.

In reality, probably far from the truth, as you have been alive, and well all these years without her, and are probably really happy that she is in your life.

Women HATE to be "required". They want to be around you because THEY WANT TO, not because if they leave you will fall apart. If they get the message from whatever signal a guy puts out, they feel obligation, and responsibility and that makes them run like a cockroach with the lights on.

The best way to approach this is like this. Don't let a significant other rock your boat. What I mean is, don't toss your life around for them. Make life work for you, and derive your self esteem, respect, happiness, and self being from yourself, school, work, friends, family, and faith. Not from someone else. No one can fix of fulfill your life, only compliment it.

Men, make a huge error, they change there schedules, drop plans at a whim, to cater to a women. If she were to call at 5 PM on Friday, and accept your date call from Tuesday, many guys would cancel their plans with the guys to go out with her. WRONG. You tell her you have plans, you would love to see her, but your schedule is full this weekend, and that you will call her next week.

Make life work for you.

It is sad, and I have never understood it, but the worse I treat a women, the more they like me. Never bring them flowers, have sex with them, and never speak about a relationship, seldom call, date other women etc, and they love me.

Now, bring them flowers, call every other day, talk about a relationship, be a nice guy, be honest, accommodating, don't hit on their friends, and they run for the hills.

The point is, there is a fine line to walk between the afore mentioned descriptions. This is called the "game".

Like my C.O. says, "You can loose a few battles, but win the war".

I suggest a book for you to read.

"How to Succeed With Women"

[vashti]

Women HATE to be "required". They want to be around you because THEY WANT TO, not because if they leave you will fall apart.

True, that.

Make life work for you, and derive your self esteem, respect, happiness, and self being from yourself, school, work, friends, family, and faith. Not from someone else. No one can fix of fulfill your life, only compliment it.

Good advice for men AND women.

It is sad, and I have never understood it, but the worse I treat a women, the more they like me. Never bring them flowers, have sex with them, and never speak about a relationship, seldom call, date other women etc, and they love me.

This is not hard to understand. You date stupid women.

[NeoSeminole]

I think he is confusing girls for women. Many girls think they become women after they reach a certain age. They don't understand it's maturity, not age, that makes someone an adult. A female can be 30 yrs old and still act like a girl.

[Tone]

Wow good advice Bluevette!

I particularly liked this segment:

Women HATE to be "required". They want to be around you because THEY WANT TO, not because if they leave you will fall apart. If they get the message from whatever signal a guy puts out, they feel obligation, and responsibility and that makes them run like a cockroach with the lights on.

The best way to approach this is like this. Don't let a significant other rock your boat. What I mean is, don't toss your life around for them. Make life work for you, and derive your self esteem, respect, happiness, and self being from yourself, school, work, friends, family, and faith. Not from someone else. No one can fix of fulfill your life, only compliment it.

[Bluevetteracer]

This is not hard to understand. You date stupid women.



And that is why 90% of them get run off quickly.

[misombra]

she's seeing her ex-boyfriend.

[MastaPDiddy]

she's seeing her ex-boyfriend.

Nope. She just called. Said she really just wanted to figure out how much she loved me. She wanted to make sure she loved me before she got too serious with me. So now things are back to normal and she says she is surer than ever, also she said the more she and her exboyffriend talked, the more she missed me.

[misombra]

oh. her ex must've dumped her.

[Late_vamp]

This is not hard to understand. You date stupid women.



And that is why 90% of them get run off quickly.

yes but the question is , how do we tell the difference without spending too much time ? yes i know some are just given away , completely obvious ... but apart from that , how can we know its not just some broad without a proper working brain .

[MastaPDiddy]

oh. her ex must've dumped her.

cynical much?

[misombra]

no, just real.

[Mish]

I would recommend a one on one conversation to find out where all the pieces stand. I think you should know for yourself what's going on. The way she came back to you with this so suddenly is not looking good at all. And I don't think you should be with her if she is already one foot out of the door...

I'd say talk to her, find out where everything stands, she should know that your feelings are not something to be played around with. I mean, she choose you this time, but what happens if she runs into another ex? How can you be certain of her choices in the future?