Am I a ***** for being upset when my fiance watches porn?

[LilMissy]

I am set to get married soon and I love my fiance with all my heart... I really do.
I don't have nearly the sex drive he does (he was a virgin when we met, I was far from it, and we were both 21. We are now 23.)

I have been trying to give him more, I know a man has needs and I want him to be happy. We were finally to a place where I wasn't feeling overstretched.... Yet he still has a need to watch porn and get himself off like 3 or 4 times a week. Sometimes when I come home from work, he will have left it on the computer. It makes me feel completely inadequate, knowing I am still not enough and no matter what he will never be satisfied. I don't know HOW many times we have fought over this.

I woke up the other day and he was masterbating while I SLEPT. It's not only hurtful to me, it's downright creepy.

Am I completely out of line here??

[TAVS]

Neither of you are out of line. The question is, can you find a way to both be happy?

[LilMissy]

I am trying tobe understanding... I just really don't want to be so constantly reminded of my inadequacies.

[Lloyd95]

In answer to the title, no, you're not being a b*tch, but you aren't being understanding.

I see nothing wrong with a little porn, as long as it doesn't consume his life.

[LilMissy]

Am I irrational for feeling so low and inadequate when he feels this need like 4 times a week?

[Lloyd95]

A week? I misread that and thought it said 4 times "a day", and thought, ok, a little excessive but no biggie.

A week? Damn. I've been looking at 4 pornos since my last post. Ok, not really, but you get the point.

Maybe if you posted pics of yourself in the Gallery section, we could relate to your bf in one way or the other? How 'bout it?

[LilMissy]

ha ha ha I am plenty hot believe u me

[Junsui]

Don't take it personally. I doubt he's looking at porn because you don't fulfill his needs. I don't think you're being a ***** about it or anything. If it's something you don't want to see all of the time, then ask him to make sure he shuts it off of the computer when he's done so you don't have to see it and I don't think it's being unreasonable to ask him to not masturbate next to you while you're sleeping. It's normal for men to look at porn, it only becomes a problem when it effects his everyday life. When he starts turning you down for sex and going to porn instead, then I would start to worry.

Also, him masturbating 4 times a week is nothing!

[updraft]

Am I completely out of line here??

Sweety, he's a 23 year old guy !!!! They do this kind of stuff...my bf of 2 years sometimes goes to porn sites on the net....I dont like him doing it, but guys are visual and will never stop looking....if it really bothers you so much let him know it....see if you and he can come to a compromise....

[Ellynn]

I can see how you feel inadequate....but do you really want him jumping you every time hes horny? You said yourself that your sex drive isn't nearly as high as his. (Basically its supposed to get alot higher once women get into their late 30s early 40s.) Anyways.....if he needs to get off...just be glad hes doing it to porn....and not with some other chick he knows online....or another woman all together in person.

Porn is meant for that... So let him do his thing. Hes at his sexual peak. I wouldn't take it personal.

[whaywardj]

Hey. There's love-making and there's stress release. One has nothing to do with the other. Next time it happens, roll over and say to him, "Oh. Leaving me Rosalie, are you?" Then go down on him.

[Only-virgins]

He was a virgin and you were "far from it"...I have found the problem. he is an idiot. Honestly I dont see a problem. Sometimes its better for him to do that. I remember being angry sometimes that I was horny as hell and my body wanted to push the genetic material out of my body...I seriously did not want sex..but had to get rid of the feeling. Sex for me with a girl at that time would have actually been a burden. I just wanted it out and the fastest way through porn and my right hand lol.

[Debunkt]

He was a virgin and you were "far from it"...I have found the problem. he is an idiot.

Why is he an idiot?

[Junsui]

Because Debunkt, don't you know all virgins should only be with other virgins?

[Tone]

Because his name is OV, Debunkt.

That's what he does.