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Thread: Need help figuring this girl out!

  1. #1
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    Need help figuring this girl out!

    Okay, so I go to school and ever since the 1st day of school and seeing this girl (we'll just call her Jane for the sake of it), I fell in love with her (her looks that is), but that was about 1 year and 3 months ago that I started. She was 3rd quarter at the time and now she is going to be graduating for good. Well, about a week ago we had a showcase of all these bands and whatnot at this local venue by the school. A friend of mine had told Jane just a few days earlier that I liked her and wanted to get to know her, so she said great and she wanted me to come up and talk to her at this showcase. So I did... we hit it off really well and found out we have a lot in common. So for the past 2 weeks we have been talking back and forth (on the phone and on myspace.com) and have hung out multiple times. She even gave me a ride home last week from school on Tuesday (which I thought was really awesome of her). We went and saw a movie (me and Jane, and my roommate and her friend) and it was just awesome. Everytime we have hung out she has told me how much fun she has had and how much of a blast things have been.

    So we have been talking and flirting with eachother back and forth and I have been getting really good vibes from her. She posted this bulletin on myspace. com with the title "So you wanna date?" and she emailed me right after and told me that it was really meant just for me even though it was posted as a bulletin (it was a questionnaire). So I filled it out and emailed it back to her. A few nights later she ended up calling me from the school (she was there working on some stuff) and asked me what I was up to and if I wanted to do something, so I said sure! We met up and went out with some friends to a local restaurant and then back to hang out at my place. At my place she mentioned again while sitting on my couch that that bulletin she sent out really was JUST for me... So she has been dropping all these hints that she likes me and what not, but I'm trying to be cautious and warey and take things a little slow b/c I just got out of a 4 1/2 year relationship about a few months ago (and her b/f cheated on her and broke up with her just 3 weeks earlier).

    But anyways, so here we are, we had this holiday party at my school just on Friday night and then afterwards I invited her to come to a big party we were having back at my place (a bunch of people were gonna be there). So we met up at the holiday party and she had a recording session (just 2 hours) after the holiday party and didn't want to go at all, and even kept saying she wanted me to stay at the school or the holiday party and she wished she could just leave and come to my place. Needless to say, she finished up the session while my roommate and I went out and got beer and what-have-you and got back to the apt. Shortly after Jane and her friend showed up and then other ppl started showing up. Well, to make a long story short, my roommate and his cousin ended up drawing mistletoe on this paper to get us to kiss (which we did), so from then on we were a little more touchy feely with eachother. So at around 4:30am she had to get home and her friend parked at the school (however Jane's car was parked outside my place). So what we decided was that I was going to go with Jane and my roommate was going to go with her friend to drive to the school. (from the school I was gonna drive her friend's car home with her friend and my roommate was gonna follow me so I could get back. Jane was just gonna drive home from there by herself. So she said she wanted me to drive with her, so we leave and we talk on the way to the school and end up arriving a little before my roommate and her friend get there. So her friend gets out of my roommates car and gets in her car to start warming it up. We are still talking and I mention hanging out tomorrow (Saturday) and that we should do something and she sounded all excited and sounded like we were definitely going to do something. So I go to leave and reach over and grab her hand and she leans forward to kiss me, so we start making out for a few moments. We both looked at eachother and we were both brimming... so I tell her that I will see her tomorrow and for her to have a great night and drive safe!

    Here's where the problems start... Saturday comes around and I get no phone call at all. Finally she emails me on myspace and tells me that she was so sorry and that she couldn't get to a phone for even 2 seconds to give me a ring and let me know what was up (her cell phone has been not working for the past 2 weeks and she hasn't had time to get it fixed). So I tell her it's okay and whatever. I then write her an email later that night and ask her if she is free for Sunday if she would want to do anything? She msg's me back and tells me that she's really sorry she didn't call me again, but she was really busy and that she was going to be attending this show at a local venue only 3 blocks from my place... and that it was a 5 band set, so she would be out all night again.

    She then says, I'll see you in class tomorrow morning (today) anyways, but I'm not sure if we can hang out cause this one guy asked her to help him study for finals (it's finals week right now), and that she would probably be at it all night. The thing is, is that I leave to fly back home on wednesday morning and won't be back until Dec. 30th... but it's like I really wanted to hang out with her before I left. She emails me last night and tells me that she definitely wants to hang out this week, but I'm not sure if she remembers that I'm leaving on wednesday morning (even though i mentioned it a few times to her).

    So I see her in class today and she told me this week is really really busy for her (she is a business type girl and does alot of things like tour manager for a band, vocal coaching for recording sessions, and other things), so I can understand that she is really busy (b/c it is finals week). But I just wanted to ask you guys what do you think of this whole situation? I'm beginning to think she might be avoiding me, but why? I mean why would all of that stuff have happened like the flirting, the kiss, hanging out, etc only to all of a sudden have things turn out like this? I'm so confused as to what to think about it all and I don't want to get hurt, but I'm not sure what to think. I'm extremely interested in hearing what all of you think of this whole situation as it's killing me... Granted it was only 2 weeks that we've really known eachother, but so much has happened to just say oh well and move on. I really like her and I keep doubting whether or not I should be feeling the way I do, but it's just crushing me lately... I can't sleep or anything... So what do you all think?

  2. #2
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    um...maybe she really is busy? either that or she kisses you...feels weird about it because of some hang up...and is avoiding you...deal with it...

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by funsounds
    um...maybe she really is busy? either that or she kisses you...feels weird about it because of some hang up...and is avoiding you...deal with it...
    Thanks for the advice, but don't be a dick... hopefully you wind up in a situation like this and see how it feels.

  4. #4
    vashti's Avatar
    vashti is offline Hot love muffin guru
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    I agree that she just sounds busy. Be happy she has a life. Girls without their own interests are boring, and if she views you as being too clingy, she will definitely cut you loose.

  5. #5
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    Rosebud is offline Love Gurus
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    Thing is, I think she really is just busy! And if she's worth waiting for and you can handle her busy schedule in the future then I say you just have to be patient and go with the flow!

    And No need to get nasty.... Funsounds was just stating what it could be!
    If you can't handle the thorns, don't crave the rose!!

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rosebud
    Thing is, I think she really is just busy! And if she's worth waiting for and you can handle her busy schedule in the future then I say you just have to be patient and go with the flow!

    And No need to get nasty.... Funsounds was just stating what it could be!
    I just wanted to thank you all for your comments. I really appreciate your insights and I will definitely take your advice. Thanks again!

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by §ouLto§ouL
    Thanks for the advice, but don't be a dick... hopefully you wind up in a situation like this and see how it feels.
    who's being a dick? i'm tellin you straight. as for being in that situation...dude, who hasn't? deal with it...it'll work out...

  8. #8
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    She sounds busy.

    If you don't see her before you go, it'll only make her more excited to see you after the holiday - when you return.

    There's no rush, is there?

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by vashti
    if she views you as being too clingy, she will definitely cut you loose.
    I think that's it. Gotta play it smooth man and not look too needy. You'll see her again next week.

  10. #10
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    I agree with everyone, sounds like she's busy. I want to suggest something, it's these kinds of situations that gets all of us thinking, "Maybe she's not busy, Maybe she's just leading me on, maybe she's not interested." Can we just stop thinking about things like this soo much? I mean, I'm sure you're disappointed that you two didn't hang out. Just try to stop focusing on all the what ifs and maybes. Look forward to the next opportunity to see her and talk. The big thing is, try to shrug off what happened, don't act dissapointed or butt hurt that the date never happened. She'll start thinking that you have nothing else better to do. Just go with the flow...

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