anti affair

[TAVS]

I don't think so. Ever heard the expression "What Mom doesn't know can't hurt her"?

Well hear this sexy,

What John doesn't know can't hurt him!

I have a friend like you; I should know better to try and argue morals. I'm done.

[Rosebud]

Carp, Have you ever been cheated on..that you know of?

[carpflounder]

Sadly, no I never busted the one of my exes whom I was sure cheated on me. But without the proof, I can't say that I know of.

Some people can pull it off, others can't. My friend B_____ is the biggest cheater and as such, he gets caught and people around him get hurt.

John doesn't know. My gf doesn't know.

No harm. No foul.

PS- I'm not trying to be an ass. People get bored. Not everyone always wants to be around the same person. It gets kinda mundane having sex with the same chick day after day. How you correlate that to "not deserving a relationship".......I have no idea!

[lovestruck]

i'll figure it out.one way or another. I'll work it out.

[Rosebud]

PS- I'm not trying to be an ass. People get bored. Not everyone always wants to be around the same person. It gets kinda mundane having sex with the same chick day after day. How you correlate that to "not deserving a relationship".......I have no idea!

I know your not trying to be an ass Carp, you just view things differnetly. If you get bored having sex with the same person then you shouldn't be in a serious relationship with them. I don't think you have found True Love! I know what you mean because I have felt the same way as you only I got out of the relationship before I acted on how I felt. I knew that if I thought that way I wasn't happy.

When you don't tell someone that you have cheated, then you really don't care how they feel or care that you have hurt them. Your thinking of yourself in that regards...and don't tell me if your thinking of their best interest becasue it would hurt more if they knew...It would hurt more if down the road you wanted to marry them and they found out you cheated in the past!

[lovestruck]

oh. Lovestruck. Good luck figuring it out. I'd hate to have been 20 and married with a baby.

I hate it too.

[vashti]

When you don't tell someone that you have cheated, then you really don't care how they feel or care that you have hurt them. Your thinking of yourself in that regards...and don't tell me if your thinking of their best interest becasue it would hurt more if they knew...It would hurt more if down the road you wanted to marry them and they found out you cheated in the past!

I think that if you are a serial cheater, then you are correct. It is best for your partner to be told, and perhaps this is the case for lovestruck. It shows a great deal of selfishness to have absolutely no regard for your s/o's health and emotional well being, and people people have a right to choose the character of the person they are spending their lives with.

However, if you are talking about an isolated incident, and there are actual marriages and families at stake and genuine remorse, I think it may be best to keep things to yourself, but only if one is quite certain and determined it won't happen again. But again, I don't think this circumstance applies to lovestruck.

[whaywardj]

I hate it too.

Therewith is your answer.

One can only hope your child won't be made to suffer too harshly from the resentment that hatred must engender.

[Rosebud]

I think that if you are a serial cheater, then you are correct. It is best for your partner to be told, and perhaps this is the case for lovestruck. It shows a great deal of selfishness to have absolutely no regard for your s/o's health and emotional well being, and people people have a right to choose the character of the person they are spending their lives with.

However, if you are talking about an isolated incident, and there are actual marriages and families at stake and genuine remorse, I think it may be best to keep things to yourself, but only if one is quite certain and determined it won't happen again. But again, I don't think this circumstance applies to lovestruck.

Aren't you contradicting yourself? Or are you saying if your marriage/family would be at stake because of this, there's no need for your SO to know the type of person they are REALLY with/married to?

[vashti]

I am saying when there are children involved, it is often not worth tearing apart a family over a one-time incident. (Emphasis on one time incident.) For me there is a difference between an isolated event and a lifestyle, not that I would tell my husband this.

[Rosebud]

I see your point, Actually I think you and I have had this discussion before.. I agree that Lovestruck's situation needs to be told to her SO.

I guess I still see them as the same though, If soemone has cheated once, I call them a cheater. But then again, I'm basing my opinion on the fact that they will do it again until the cause (why they look elsewhere) is fixed in the relationship, and not just wandering off for awhile and then coming back full force. So yea I know what you mean!

[lovestruck]

thats one thing i'd have to disagree on.. i dont think admitting to john of what i've done would help.

[TAVS]

thats one thing i'd have to disagree on.. i dont think admitting to john of what i've done would help.

Of course you don't; you're basically okay with what you've done.

[Rosebud]

Can you imagine yourself spending the rest of your life with him? If so I think he deserves to know who you really are. Not that your a bad person. And please do not take offense to this, I think people who cheat are people who run from problems instead of dealing with the situation head on. But with what you have you said before, your dealing with a lot and it's understandable how you feel. But I still think if you want to be with him the rest of your life He deserves to know this about you!

But this is your decision and your going to do as you wish, I hope things work out for the best for you and your family!

[vashti]

thats one thing i'd have to disagree on.. i dont think admitting to john of what i've done would help.

It's not meant to help YOU, it is meant to help HIM to know what kind of woman he is attaching himself to. Its about respecting his right to choose the kind of woman he wants.