anti affair

[lovestruck]

Me again.. Alright, I want to stop all the affairs I'm having. I'm feeling bad for stepping on so much people. It's wrong, yea. I've known it all along just didn't want to believe it. Anyway, I've decided to try to fix things with John. Lately he's been really sweet always asking if I love him and now he's always telling me how much he needs me and how he wants things to work out. I felt sick to my stomach when he apologized for not having time for me and the baby..said he'd try harder. I'm such a byotch.
Anyhoo.. any pointers on how I can end the affairs and maintain the faithfulness?

[Rosebud]

Well the only thing that seems to be stopping you from doing so is the fact you don't want to! If you did, you would have stopped already. There isn't much anyone can say other than just STOP!

[vashti]

Affairs? As in more than one? Damn, girl! I can't help you on this; I've never had one. I guess it is best to keep in mind who you want to hurt the least, and to hell with the rest.

[NeoSeminole]

I hope you catch an STD and rot from the inside out. Your bf deserves better than you.

[lovestruck]

I know I should just stop.. its not that easy.. I guess your right, I'm probably not ready to get committed if I can't even figure out how to stop the other realtionship.

[lilwing89]

what the hell is an affair anyways? i dont exactly know waht the term means but im guessing something sexual by the way everyone is using it?

[lovestruck]

what the hell is an affair anyways? i dont exactly know waht the term means but im guessing something sexual by the way everyone is using it?

im cheating on my babys father or "husband".

[Rosebud]

I know I should just stop.. its not that easy.. I guess your right, I'm probably not ready to get committed if I can't even figure out how to stop the other realtionship.

See that's the thing...if you are truly happy and you want to work it out with John than it is that easy to just stop. If not I suggest you just get out of the relationship.

This guy is trying to do everything he can for you and your running around behind his back! Would you want the same done to you?

[lilwing89]

it is that easy.. just tell him about it and you are done. mission complete

[lovestruck]

See that's the thing...if you are truly happy and you want to work it out with John than it is that easy to just stop. If not I suggest you just get out of the relationship.

This guy is trying to do everything he can for you and your running around behind his back! Would you want the same done to you?

damn. I know. I dont know why I even posted this.. I know what is wrong and right. I even know what I should do.. just can't suck it in. Am I making sense?

[TAVS]

it is that easy.. just tell him about it and you are done. mission complete

Absolutely, he deserves to know what you did and the person you are. Absolutely shameful.

[Tone]

Didn't I warn you against this ???

I told you that you need to tell him cause when/if things do start going good your conscious is going to kill you... and what...do..you..know... and the longer you wait the worse it makes it.. the more all these nice memories and good recent times are replaced by a time of lies and two-facedness.

[Rosebud]

well Lovestruck..not many of us on here have cheated. I know what You are saying and it makes sense in the terms of explaining it, but I don't know why it's so hard if it's really want you want. Like you said you know what you have to do and you know what is wrong and what is right...but what's stopping you? Seriosuly if your not happy and you still feel like you want to have these "affairs" then you need to leave the guy your with!

And you said before your son is your #1 priority and I believe you love him but think about him when doing all this...your really not if your cheating on his father! You want a stable for life for him right? well what your doing is just the opposite! I know you know all this but THAT should be your motivation to change what your doing!

[Hugo Pickle]

Sounds to me like your actually proud of yourself for having your cake and eating it too. Wow, so you can cheat on the father of your baby and get away with it, and even make him apologize to you as if it is his fault. Do you really think it takes some kind of talent to be able to do that? Then you even brag about it on here to get even more attention. You just had to tell everyone how you get everything you want and hurt other people in the process.

Let me tell you some things that you aren’t thinking about. For starters, what do you think the father of your child is going to say about you when you baby is older? Do you think he is going say you were “Oh So Great?” Do you think he will treat you like your someone special in front of them? Do you think they won’t know what kind of person you are?. How you put yourself above everyone including them? No. One day your child is going scream right in your face how much of a piece of crap you are and how you have no right to tell them how to live their life. Your family will resent you and always think in the back of their mind what a trash whore you really are.

You have no idea just how badly you have screwed up do you? Well your going to get what you deserve trust me, what goes around comes around and even though you think you got your cake and can eat it too, trust me, you bit off more than you can chew. Your arrogance and stupidity will haunt you for as long as you will have contact with your child and it’s father and their family.

So congratulations sweet heart, you got your cake, I hope you choke on it because unlike regular food, you can’t get rid of something like this. You stupid, fool of a woman.

[clynn]

Don't be mean.

She came on here looking for help and admitting wrong doing.

It is like someone who is addicted to drugs. They know it is wrong but are having trouble stopping.

Doesn't mean that is an excuse to NOT stop, but at least you can understand it a bit better.

You are probably addicted to the rush and excitement you feel when you have sex with an affair. It is a lot more interesting than the stable life you have at home with your son and husband.

HOWEVER....is isn't as meaningful. And in the long run, not as fulfilling.

If you stop,....probably you will feel sad for a while, as you are giving something up - the excitement - and probably you've even, at this point, begun to develop relationships (of a sort) with the men you've been "seeing" ----but, work yourself through it. Suck it up.

Know that what you are doing is for a longer term good. And it is because you are making the harder, better, more responsible, mature choices - that will make others happy, in addition to yourself. After a while your own self confidence will increase.

AND - because you'll be committed more whole-heartedly to your marriage and son (because, how can you be while your attention is focused outside of the household....) - and you'll begin to feel greater satisfaction from the devotion you are displaying.

Right now your conflicted emotions come into play because you are indeed behaving selfishly. And we don't usually feel good when we are being selfish.

Good luck. Sounds like you'll need it. But IT IS WORTH IT!!!!!

Sooo, find other things to do INSTEAD of seeing your boyfriends.

Like do something for the world - volunteer for a Soup Kitchen. Offer to drive old people to their doctor's appointments. When we give to other people we feel better about ourselves.

OR - get active and fit. Start a new exercise program.

Start spending time with people who have values that you Want to have - even if you don't display them right now. People who are committed and faithful to their husbands and children. Or to their boyfriends if they are not married. Or who have strong values and work hard at school and extracurricular activities or at their jobs.

Begin to cut people and activities out of your life that don't support your future with your husband and child (ie: going to the bar or hanging out with single girlfriends who are out looking for men - whatever it is you're doing..)

Take a class at the college, ... start to better yourself and identify new goals.

For you it must be very tough - because, if I recall you had this baby quite young? Having the proper support in your life will be important.

However, your child deserves a strong two parent household with loving and attentive parents. And the best way for you to love your child is to love him together with your husband.