oy so confused....

[datcavi]

Well I am new here so I hope this is the right forum to post this. Well me and now my ex gf recently broke up, about 2 months ago actually. We've been together for just about 2 years. She has been my only gf in my whole life, so shes all I know. Well when she dumped me she said we were done for good, not a break, but for good. I figured since we were done for good, I could do anything and it wouldnt hurt her. Well when we were together, their was this girl that liked me and I thought she was cool, but I was obviously taken at the time. Well i guess sometime around when we broke up, I promised my ex that i would never talk to this other girl, well I honestly never remember saying that. So about 4 days ago, I started talking to this girl again. Well my ex found out and flipped out big time, saying I lied to her and now she will never take me back. I guess she was thinking about getting back together with me around the time i started talking to this other girl. Well now she wants nothing to do with me unless I again take this other girl out of my life. I love my ex to death, and would love get back together with her. But I also like this other girl, and I dont want to ever look back a couple years from now and think "hmm i wonder what could have happened if i dated her?" or whatever. I'm just confused on if I should take this girl out of my life again, to possibly get back together with my ex. Or really piss off my ex and never get back together with her and possibly date this other girl. I'm just so confused. Any opinions are really appreciated! thank you

[datcavi]

oh and sorry if its a long story. I had alot on my mind.

[rcia]

Datcavi, you are on the right track. Stay on course. I thought she broke up with you. She doesn't have any say on who you see or what you do. Do you have the same say so in her life? Are you forbidding her to see anyone? She had her chance to be the one in your life and she chose to leave. Along with her leaving goes any right to tell you ANYTHING about your life.
Now all of a sudden out of nowhere she is going to dangle the "I might've come back to you carrot", but if you even think of hurting my controlling little ego, by seeing this girl then I won't be with you ever. HELLO! She already left. What? She left and still wants to control your life.
Sorry, that just doesn't fly.
I went through the same scenario with a guy and as soon as I was dating his so called,
"enemy" then all of a sudden he loved me and didn't want to live without me. Of course when he asked me to chose, there was no question who I wanted to be with... him!
So, we got back together because he didn't want me to be with the other guy. Not as much as because he wanted to be with me. He didn't want to lose me while he was trying to figure out who he wanted to be with. How convenient. Just leave me hanging and I will be there waiting while you figure out if you want me or not. OUCH!
I wanted it to work and hoped that this would be it. But, nothing really changed. And the outcome ended up being the same. You deserve more. If you are ready for a commitment and she's not, well, looks like your walking down different roads.
Once you get to where you WANT to be you'll be glad you were true to yourself.
Warm Wishes..Susan

[vashti]

I don't think it was a good idea to be dating anyone else while you were still stuck on your ex. It certainly isn't fair to the new girl. However, if your girlfriend broke up with you, she can't be telling you what to do...

I would avoid the revenge dating. It is stupid.

[Lloyd95]

She broke up with you and is now telling you who you should or shouldn't date? I'm not sure who's more stupid, her for being a crazy, overzealous, jealous, petty b*tch, or you for actually caring what she thinks (now that you're broken up for 2 months)

[datcavi]

I don't think it was a good idea to be dating anyone else while you were still stuck on your ex. It certainly isn't fair to the new girl. However, if your girlfriend broke up with you, she can't be telling you what to do...

I would avoid the revenge dating. It is stupid.

Oh, i wouldnt really say i'm stuck on her, just i would consider taking her back. And also I really dont consider it revenge dating, i dont wanna date this girl to make my ex mad, i wanna date her because i like her.
Thanks for all the replies. I agree about how she shouldnt be "bossing" me around on what I want to do. And I shouldnt care what she thinks right?
thanks again

[cheazypeaz]

heres what i would do.

go up to your ex, tell her you would give it a second shot if she would, otherwise you are going to move on and maybe end up with a new girl.

make sure you tell her the truth, and make sure she understands she should stop ****ing with your head, its HER last chance, not yours.

Good luck,
Spike

[Tone]

I agree 100% with what rcia said. Also...

She broke up with you and is now telling you who you should or shouldn't date? I'm not sure who's more stupid, her for being a crazy, overzealous, jealous, petty b*tch, or you for actually caring what she thinks (now that you're broken up for 2 months)

Or for you promising her you won't talk to a girl you thought was cool after she dumped you and said you were done for good. THAT is the point you should have been like "You know you got A LOT OF NERVE WOMAN!!! Tryin to tell me what to do after you kicked me to the curb... 'the **** you think you are????"

That way you could have avoided all this "WELL YOU PROMISED ME, BILLY YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T TALK TO HER" and she can use that as the excuse to why she will never get back together with you, when in reality had you not broke the promise and forfeited your potential relationship with this new girl, odds are she still wouldn't have came back to you.

In fact, the ****ed up way the human mind works - you breakin the promise and talking to this girl will probably actually HELP you get your ex back. Cause she will get jealous, and the whole "you want what you can't have" concept comes into play.

Almost like rcia's story. Your ex might try to lure you back to her JUST to feed her ego and make sure the girl she doesn't like doesn't get you. You will fall for it, of course. I mean if you promised the girl that dumped you not to talk to someone already, and now are making up excuses "OH MY GOD I FORGOT SAYING THAT TO HER I FEEL SO BAD NOW THAT I LIED TO MY EX THAT DUMPED ME" you'll definately take her back, only to be canned a few days/weeks/months later.