Frustrated n Horny

[Tiay]

as a virgin I probably don't have much right to give advice for this situation, but here goes anyway;

As I see it, there are three options:

1. He'd like more sex, but he thinks she doesn't want to, or that she'd only be going along with it not not really want it. awww, that's very sweet of him. All that is needed to resolve the situation is for her to tell him what she wants, and he'll be happy to oblige.

2. He simply doesn't want more sex, he's perfectly happy the way it is, and isn't aware of her frustration. I guess that doesn't really explain why he's hard and does nothing about it, though, or why he doesn't at least touch her when she's sleeping in the nude. They have to come to some kind of compromise. Maybe he can have a little more sex than he usually would, and she can have a little less? Or maybe he can find other ways to give her pleasure without having actual sex.

3. why has nobody ventured to ask whether maybe he doesn't have sex as often because he doesn't find it fulfilling? She said the sex is great, but is it great for him too? Are we blindly assuming that men enjoy sex, any sex at all, period?
That does not mean that she's being selfish or anything bad like that. Since she already said that he's shy, maybe he's so shy he wont even tell her what feels good in bed, and hence she has no way of knowing that he'd prefer a different technique, or that ear licking drives him mad. Maybe he has a secret fetish that he's too ashamed to explain. Everybody has the responsibility to tell their partner what brings them pleasure, otherwise they wont know how.

Please keep us posted, Sweetee
Best Wishes,
-tiay

[ngwasuma]

as a virgin I probably don't have much right to give advice for this situation, but here goes anyway;

Its a good thing to be a virgin. Many people these days think otherwise but its a good thing. Keep it that way.

[Tiay]

aw, thank you, ngwasuma, that means a lot to me

[Late_vamp]

stay a virgin , hopefully you will keep it till you get married .
if you lose it to some guy and then you both separate , then you will feel like you just wasted your one and only virginity for almost nothing .

[Only-virgins]

Its a good thing to be a virgin. Many people these days think otherwise but its a good thing. Keep it that way.

I agree with this post.

stay a virgin , hopefully you will keep it till you get married .
if you lose it to some guy and then you both separate , then you will feel like you just wasted your one and only virginity for almost nothing .

Why always assume the worst possibility? If we are doing that then why not her going the other way and earning her self some wonderful STDs?

[Tiay]

hehe ^.^ well, but you're not immune to STD's after you marry though ^.^ how does that work, do people get themselves tested for everything before the honeymoon ?

Even marriage isn't very permanent for a some people these days, and life can always spring something unexpected on you; I think as long as I loose my virginity in a situation where I'm being valued and am in a committed, serious relationship, even if we separate later, I wont regret that. Virginity is a sacred once-only gift, but sex is also a healthy part of life. Most people don't end up staying with the person they loose it to, and while I love the idea, it's probably not the most reasonable expectation ever.. though I know two couples who were each other's first and are now both happily married with kids. awww, sweeet ^.^

Tell me something though.. is it really so unreasonable to expect a more experienced guy to wait for me? And is 16 months really that long to be abstinent?
I know that my boyfriends parents - and they are really very nice people - don't understand why he's with somebody who can't satisfy his early-twenties-male 'needs', especially since he could pretty much have any girl he wants, like, say, one that doesn't live so far away. I know they have a point, but we really do love each other, and we knew what we were getting into when we started.

[Tiay]

oh man, I probably shouldn't have posted this in someone else's thread ..

[whaywardj]

Yep. Being clear with him on want you want certainly can't hurt. But also, set aside the wanting to be "handled" desire for a time and be a bit more the aggressor to reassure ("train") him it's okay to **** you more. He may be uncertain about whether or not it is okay. Like, when has a hard on but isn't putting to use, take advantage of it yourself without preamble. If it IS something as simple as uncertainty, he'll get the message before too long and start doing the handling you're after. I wouldn't rely on arguments to fire up the passion, myself. But if that's what floats your boat...

[Rosebud]

You know sometimes it takes more effort on your part to get him to realize how often you really do want it. Maybe he thinks your not in the mood. Since your giving subliminal hints instead of just saying or jumping on him he has no way of knowing. When I told my bf that I wanted it more he said he couldn't tell because I didn't act like it. Sometimes you just ahve to go off impulse and yes you always instigate but the more you take advantage of those times when you just want to jump him he'll get the picture and do the same. And if he doesn't why not just tell him what you want?

[TAVS]

He should be turned on when you tell him about your desire to jump him and tear him apart.