Hey everyone. So, here's my plight.
My girlfriend of 10 months and I recently broke up (surprising! considering the forum). Anyway, we both became incredibly close, and decided that we would probably even want to marry each other. There was a problem with this however, which is that neither of us really had that much previous experience. She had only a couple other 3 or 4 month relationships, whereas I had previously never had a long term relationship. We both decided that we didn't want to go out for years only to find that one of us remained in love with the other, with the other suddenly found someone new and wanted a break up. We then decided to set a date, exactly a year after when we broke up, to meet back together, and hopefully begin our relationship anew, and possibly even continue it for the rest of our lives.
here's a chronology to help understand the relationship:
-We began to go out in february.
-Over the summer, we began to really fall in love with each other.
-In october, we 'broke up' for a week for the same reason as above, which is that we felt 'doomed', and knew that we both probably wanted a couple more relationships before we finally settled down with each other. However, due to the arbitrary nature of this decision, as it was caused by no catalyst, i wrote her a very long, sappy letter, asking to reconsider our decision, and was about to mail it to her, when she showed up at my residence and said that she thought we made a mistake.
-Finally, about two weeks ago, someone at her work admitted his feelings to her. She told him that this made her happy, and actually thought about ending our relationship to go out with him. However, she called me that day, and she said hearing my voice completely changed her decision, and she knew she could not go out with the guy, because she would feel much too guilty. After much talking, we decided that the proper solution would be to break up for exactly a year, and to meet each other at a certain location, upon which we would decide whether what we felt was truly love, and if we were prepared to have a long term relationship. (she also said that she could never go out with that guy who had feelings towards her, because she now hates him since he was the spark that ended our relationship)
Anyway, we decided to see each other as little as possible over the next year, for doing so (at least in the next few months) would most likely end up with us being together again, and rendering our decision useless. However, after two weeks of grieving, i have realized that this decision would be a very, very hard one.
My question is, should i contact her in some way? I have decided directly talking to her would not be beneficial, for the reason said above. However, I am strongly inclined to begin sending her letters, not love letters, but penpal style letters, just really to say things that happened and such, and hopefully so I could have a chance to see her reply. I think this would be good, but I realize I am currently not in a completely 'stable' state of thinking, and so may not be making the best decision currently.
Also, on a smaller note, i would like to know your guy's opinions of our decision. We decided that we would both believe this was the right thing to do no matter what anyone told us, for that was the only way we could do something like this, but it helps to know what other people think.
(Also, just so you guys know, we are both 19)
-Thank you very much for the time spent reading this long (and probably boring) post.