I'm in So much pain, please help.

**MastaPDiddy** · 03-01-06, 01:39 AM

My girlfriend and I hung out today. But something wasn't right. So I finally asked her what was up. She wouldn't tell me at first. But then she told me. Her ex boyfriend (the infamous ex boyfriend that she always told me how much she hated and would never go back to) came over to her house last night. She told me they kissed. The rest of the car ride was silent. She then said "it was nothing" And then later went on to contradict herself by saying "Its wrong to care about two people"

I told her to park the car right when she said that, i told her how to get home, got out of the car, shut the door and walked the rest of the way home.

I have no idea what to do now. If she calls do I answer? What the hell do i do?

EDIT: she just called and left a voicemail that said "Hey its me I was just calling to tell you that i am really sorry about how things turned out. I know I said I care about him still, but I still care about you so much more. I just don't think it is fair to you that I have feelings for someone else. I still don't really know how much I love you. So I just wanted to tell you I am truely sorry. Bye"

**Junket** · 03-01-06, 02:06 AM

She cares about him obviously.

Now is it worth you tryin' to hold a relationship with her knowing this?

**MastaPDiddy** · 03-01-06, 02:12 AM

I don't know.

I am about to send her this text "Spend time with your ex, find out who you love and who you want to be with. Then make a choice and do not go back on it even if it kills you."

is this a good idea?

**Only-virgins** · 03-01-06, 02:14 AM

Originally Posted by MastaPDiddy

I don't know.

I am about to send her this text "Spend time with your ex, find out who you love and who you want to be with. Then make a choice and do not go back on it even if it kills you."

is this a good idea?

Your willing to give her that choice? Are you sure?

**MastaPDiddy** · 03-01-06, 02:16 AM

Originally Posted by Only-virgins

Your willing to give her that choice? Are you sure?

I wouldn't want to force to come back to me....then she wouldn't really be with me.

**Hugo Pickle** · 03-01-06, 02:17 AM

Masta, I wish I was in your home town because I would take you out around town and have you get 10 phone numbers of other women right now.

All you need to do is start dating other people. I know your hung up over this girl. But that will not help you now. You call up your friends right now and go out with them. You get the toughest friend that you have to make you dance with other women and get their number tonight!

Listen to what I have been telling you
1. Put your feelings in your pocket.
2. Treat her like you would any other girl.
3. Go out with your friends
4. Get numbers and date other women.
5. Start working out.
6. Focus on you, your career, your goals, your body, your life.

Why do I keep telling you all this? Because I can tell that you are being soft with this girl and she is treating you like crap. You need to get your mind out of being so “in love” with her. You need to make her start working to spend time with you. You need to stop saying “how high” when she calls you and wants to use you as “friend guy”

Let me tell you what. Things are going to get worse. If you don’t start taking my advice, then you will be so far in the gutter that it will take months for you to get out.

**MastaPDiddy** · 03-01-06, 02:23 AM

ok

Hugo, i am going to take your advice. But before i read what you just said she replied to the text i sent her with this:
"That is what i was trying to tell you u before you got out the car, i did **** up but it made me realize that i do have feelings for him but it grew strong enough ti make a difference i love u not him but i understand if u dont want to give me another chance"

So now what? tell her to just take time away..or nothign no more texts or what!!

****ing my heart cant take this shit anymore

**Late_vamp** · 03-01-06, 02:30 AM

i say detach yourself from her slowly , in the meanwhile have fun getting the best out of this , i dont think you can put 100% trust into this girl , what if one day you guys argue and she goes to him during the "break" ? , is your B-day coming up ... ask for a gift , let her take you out just like you probably took her out , she coulnt hold her impulses so why should you hold yours ??? go ahead and get laid even if you know youll leave her later on , you got nothing to lose , im being realistic , nobody likes to be lonely ... especially so abruptly .

if your ok with it , then by all means continue , if not , just try this IF you want to leave her a bit sour ... that should be enough to make her think twice next time she wants to kiss someone else when she already has a BF .make sure you let her know that this is the main reason you left her but dont mention that you have been keeping this up for a while now .

ok i hate cheating lying girls ... anyone that does this actually , i really do despise these type of ppl , so thats why i sound like an ass in this post .

**Hugo Pickle** · 03-01-06, 02:32 AM

I never said dump her, I never said tell her you don't want to see her. In fact, I said in other posts and this one that seeing your ex and being friends is fine. Glad you got upset and did something about it as far as the car goes, but next time a little more self control. Next time make her drive you where you want to go and then leave.

I even told you before to invite her along when you go out with your friends. Tell her you still want her to be your girl, and tonight your going out with your friends because you haven't seen them in a while, invite her along and then do exactly that. hang out and have a good time.

If she doesn't go talk to and dance with other women. Since she still wants to be your girlfriend now, then don't date them yet, but get as many numbers as you can, have a good time, and hang out with other women as friends.

This is very important, think about it like this. You are not looking for a replacement girlfriend, what you are wanting to do is build up your female friend network. You need to go out and see other women while you are dating your girlfriend. why?

Because as much as she says all this crap, what she does is not exactly in line with that is it? No girlfriend of yours should call ex boyfriends, and never kiss them. She is doing you wrong. Period. Don't blow up about it, but start seeing other people, even if it is just a friend thing.

**MastaPDiddy** · 03-01-06, 03:03 AM

ok we just had an aim convo and i told her to go see her ex bf tonight and to leave me alone for a few days. I told her that she needs to be 100% sure who she wants because I am not an option. So i told her to make sure what she wants (at which point she would interrupt with i want you and not him) and then i put up an away message sying i was going parataying in the city with friends (which is true). I told her to make sure that she hangs out with her ex tonight and tomorrow night...and that id call her later.

Good or bad?Whats my next step? relax and enjoy myself for the next few days and then call her up and see where things are?

**Hugo Pickle** · 03-01-06, 03:47 AM

Ahhh, What the hell did you tell her that for? Dammit. She told you that she wanted only you and then you tell her to run to her ex? Ahhhhhhh!!! You were supposed to just go and see your friends and hang out with other women and just let her come with you or just sit there at home. You were not supposed to say "go see your ex".

**** man that was bad.

Call her back and tell her that you were just pissed off (but don't apologize.) Tell her you don't want her seeing her ex. Tell her that you want her to be your girl.

Then, go out with your friends and hit on other women when she is not there. If she goes with you then just have a good time.

Damn dude, you tell me that your going to do what I say and then you go off and do something like that. lol. Masta, I try to help you, but damn hoss, you have to start to practice some self control with this girl.

**MastaPDiddy** · 03-01-06, 05:14 AM

ok ok im about to call her and tell her that i was just pissed off and that i am going to party with my friends. just like that?

EDIT: she didn't pick up and so i left a voicemail that said i was really pissed when we talked and that i didn't mean to just push her away to her exboyfreind and that i just need to go out and be with my friends tonight and then i said i guess ill hear from you soon bye.

ok o go have fun tonight get some numbers...then what...when she calls tomorrow what do i do? what if she doesnt call..

I love this girl and i want to be with her but i will not take her back unless she is 100% with me. Not 98% or 97%.

**MastaPDiddy** · 03-01-06, 05:22 AM

by the way is it ok if she knows im gonna be hitting on other women..if she is not coming..

**Hugo Pickle** · 03-01-06, 05:29 AM

no, it is not ok. I told you to instant message me about all this, but i am going out tonight and i don't have the time right now.

look, you want her to be your girl, right?
you don't want her to see her ex right?

then tell her those things. As far as going out, when she isn't there hit on other women, when she is there just have a good time with your friends and her. You want to build your girl network but not **** up your relationship at the same time.

**MastaPDiddy** · 03-01-06, 05:34 AM

Originally Posted by Hugo Pickle

no, it is not ok. I told you to instant message me about all this, but i am going out tonight and i don't have the time right now.

look, you want her to be your girl, right?
you don't want her to see her ex right?

then tell her those things. As far as going out, when she isn't there hit on other women, when she is there just have a good time with your friends and her. You want to build your girl network but not **** up your relationship at the same time.

Alright well pm me you screen name sometime and we'll talk. have fun tonight.

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