This girl...

[xpert]

Hi, i am a 16 year old with a social phobia in high school who dresses well and i need some input on my past few days. Well since i started my classes there has always been a girl accross the room that i've had a crush on. We have always just locked eyes and just looked at eachother a lot. Before the break we really connected and laughed to eachother as she got picked on by the teacher. On the break i had a dream about me being with her and we were a couple and we had all these great times and in the dream i asked myself "is this real?" and i could move my hands and everything in the dream it was weird. Then i wake up at my friends house where i stayed over and was shocked in the morning. Cause usually i play lots of video games and dont do a lot of outside stuff (malls,restaurants,etc.) I then realized that dream was so much better then my life i am currently living. So I wanted her! On break i started watching what i eat, taking showers often, working out, and just trying to improve my whole appearance because i cant stop thinking about her. When im working out i push myself to the limit and im always saying in my head "for her" and i see her face in my minds eye. So I went back to school today and I noticed right as she walked in she looked at me for a while and we smiled. During class my arch enemy who i think wants her too started talking to her cause he sits right next to her, she laughed with him and it got me a little mad because this is the kid who tried to steal my GF in 6th grade. so i tried a little test on her, i look at her, we connected, i act a little mad and look away so she just then stops talking to arch enemy and starts just doing her work acting a little sadish herself. I'm going back to school tomorrow again and i just dont have the guts to ask her out. What do i do? I know she likes me i can just tell by the way she looks at me, we're both shy too so whos making the move? oh, and i have a timelimit till the end of the semester and we switch classes about 7 more days in that class. keep in mind i dont talk a lot, i dress well, am very funny to my friends. I've been out of the whole "game" since i got dumped in 6th grade i am now in 11 grade.

[theotherguy0123]

On break i started watching what i eat, taking showers often, working out, and just trying to improve my whole appearance because i cant stop thinking about her.

so he's saying before the break, he always pigged out, never took showers and never worked out lol.

wow, never knew a little dream can have such a big effect on a person.

That little "test" you did...weird...

Alot of guys mistaken girl's signs of friendlyness for signs for you to make a move on her.

Sure, why not ask her out, you don't want your "arch enemy" to steal your girlfriend AGAIN do you?

Out of the "game" huh, so were you like a PIMP in 6th grade?

[clynn]

Just ask her out. Take a risk. Or you'll never know.

[xpert]

Just ask her out. Take a risk. Or you'll never know.

easy for you to say...

theotherguy, your pretty much dead on except i didnt not workout lol, i just didnt work out. and actually i always took 2 showers a day i was just giving examples of my change.

[theotherguy0123]

Oooooo, why didn't you just say sooo!! lol confused there for a second lol.

[vashti]

LOL - 6th graders aren't old enough to be "in the game", so you can't count that.

Clynn is right. Just do it. It gets easier with practice.

[Psycam]

Xpert if it really feels like you woulnd't be able to handle straight up asking her out, then just keep doing what you're doing and become more comfortable talking to her, but don't wait TOO long before asking her out.

[xxwildchildxx]

Don't go up to her and ask her out. Try and strike up a conversation. It sounds like she likes you, but I'm more interested in this "arch enemy" of yours. Let's hear that story!

[xpert]

i agree with psycam and wildchild im going to give it a little time lets see what happens today.

[ngwasuma]

Time heals many wounds.

[clynn]

Talk to her lots and lots

[Ratfish256]

In the wise words of Jim, "Just f--king man up and do it Chris" (the quote was directed at me but it fits here). I was in your situation back in highschool and I have an idea of what you are going through too. Here is my advice. Keep up the watching what you eat/working out. Not to the extent of a diet, but eat balanced meals. More veggies and fruits/less complex starches. You will feel alot better. On to the girl. Just ask her out. The longer you building up the harder it will be. Ask her if she wants to hang out outside of school sometime. If she says yes maybe suggest taking her to dinner. If you go see a movie make sure you do something afterwords so she remembers you and not just the movie.

Just ask her, once you have, regardless of what she says, you will see how easy it really was. Dont forget to let us know what happened.

[Tone]

hahaha "my arch enemy"

Kids really do say the darndest things...

[funsounds]

Out of the "game" huh, so were you like a PIMP in 6th grade?

LMAO! i actually laughed out loud when i read that!

alright...now seriously...what do you know about her? anything? anything at all? have you had conversations with her? unless she's really into you, i don't think you got enough game to straight ask her out. no direct assault.

if you know nothing about her...then freaking talk to her! become familiar with her, get to know her a bit.

if you DO know her...think of an "in"...without any good game, you gotta have a good "in". ideally, an "in" is something you both have an honest interest in...but if you wanna be shady, you can make up your end. some examples of some "in's" are...lets say you two have a mutual friend, either invite her or ask if she's coming to some activity that's being done with that person in some group thing...party, bowling, poker, pool, whatever. or lets say you're both band dorks...and like wynton marsalis or someone is coming to town...talk about that, and maybe MAYBE even ask if she would like to go with you! or lets say...you're a physics whiz and she sucks at physics...offer to help her outside of class...this can work vice versa too.

find SOME excuse to spend some time with her just GETTING TO KNOW her outside of class. that's step one. see if you can manage that. if this is TOO slow or elementary...then let us know what exactly is up and what exactly you're comfortable doing...i'm sure a bunch of peeps would love to give you some opinions of what you might be able to do!

[xpert]

thx for all the stuff you guys and gals wrote. well today wasnt a great day nothing happened in that class so it was just 1 more day wasted. well i should say i dont know how i would ever get in a conversation with her because she sits accross the room in the front row. and to start and conversation i would be standing in front of the class. i dont see her before or after that 1 class. even if i would go talk to her i would get really nervous and my voice would be shaky furthermore embarrassing me i just dont know what to do. she sits next to 2 other friends which i dont see anywhere else either i've never talked to any of them but i know they talk about me. i see them whisper something then all 3 stare at me. oh and freakin arch enemy screwed me again today (not in a dirty way) he was over there getting a good laugh. If you fellas read stuff on social phobias you'll really understand what i have here, ive been like this since 6th grade when "it" (very big family issues, death, jail and splitting up) no nobody in my family killed another one so dont come to that conclusion. theres no place i can ask her out except for in front of the class or even strike up a conversation because i would have to walk accross the room and stand in front of the class to do which really freaks me out and make my arm pits sweat, deoderant doesnt help. and even if i all of the sudden start talking to her i havent talked almost at all for half a school year in that class if i start all the sudden talking all the time, i will think of what other people are thinking about me and it will make me nervous i hate it i always think what other people are thinking about me and not what they are saying! I'm not even sure if she has a boyfriend im almost positive but how would i know i've never talked to her. What do i do!? is there anything i can do? should i wait until we switch classes and hope i get into another class with her, + i still have my whole senior year. The odds are way against me friends i dont know what to do. ill tell you how tomorrow gos.