Could he be a player? Advice please

[Daniela06]

Hi everyone!

Ok, I'll try to make this as short as possible. I'm from Europe but I live in the States now. I went back to Europe a few weeks ago and I'm going back to the US next week. 3 weeks before I left I met an American guy online. He is in his late 20s like me, seems very mature and has his life in order. He emailed me and did the pursuing. Our first date was at a coffee shop to get to know each other and then he asked me out on a dinner date for the following week. It was the best date I've ever had. He's sweet, charming, funny and seems sincere. There was a great attraction between us and after hanging out till very late at night I invited him in and in the heat of the moment we slept together (I played a very active role in getting there). I felt bad the next day and thought I had ruined everything but he sent me an email from work that it was his "best date ever". The next 2 weeks we continued to hang out (the physical stuff got reduced a little) and had a great time together. He introduced me to some of his friends and cancelled a weekend trip and another meeting to have time to see me. The day I left he came over to my place to say goodbye and he told me that he's going to miss me. Since he had said it first, I said that I'm going to miss him too.

During those last 4 weeks we emailed each other a lot and I feel that we have gotten even closer on a mental level now. He says a lot that he can't wait to see me again. Last week he asked me if he could call me and what a good time would be. After a few days of trying (he said there were some problems cause it was international) we finally talked a couple of days ago. It was a little awkward at first since we hadn't talked in a while but it got better very quickly and we had a very nice talk. He's already making plans for when I come back and talks about what we're going to do.

He also told me a while ago that he isn't dating anyone and when I told him about a guy who is hitting on me here in Europe he told me that he really likes me and that he doesn't want me to go out with someone else but that he knows that he has no right to ask me not to (so he thinks we aren't exclusive yet). He said we should figure it out when I get back. Oh, and he also cancelled his online dating subscription shortly after I left.

My problem is that I already like him a lot and that I'm afraid of getting hurt. Usually I'm a pretty laid-back girl but recently I've gotten very paranoid. Well, he hasn't replied to my email from Thursday yet and now I'm sitting here going crazy. This has happened before once or twice that he didn't email for a few days and after that he said that he was busy with his job (it's true, he does have a busy and demanding job that he's very serious about) and we emailed a lot again. Sometimes he emailed me back within minutes and a few times a day, a few days in a row. So from the past weeks I should know that it doesn't mean that much if he doesn't reply and I should just chill, however, I'm going crazy.

What is your impression? Could he be a player and sweet-talker? Is it bad if he doesn't reply to my email for a while or is this normal? Am I just paranoid and irrational? I can't wait to see him again in a few days but now I feel very insecure.

Thanks!

[funsounds]

you're probably worried over NOTHING...just chill...

[Bigg Boss]

Wow, he seems to know the game really well.

Don't worry about it. He's trying to get you to really want to see/talk to him. If you guys talked everyday, and he answered within minutes with replies, it'd seem he had no life also.

He's got you guessing, paranoid and feeling insecure. Everything is perfect right now in his opinion.

I say you just chill. There's NOTHING to worry about. You're letting him dictate the flow right now. Good thing? *shrugs* For him, yeah

[indigosoul]

What is your impression? Could he be a player and sweet-talker? Is it bad if he doesn't reply to my email for a while or is this normal? Am I just paranoid and irrational? I can't wait to see him again in a few days but now I feel very insecure.

Thanks!

He could be. Or not. You have no way of knowing. Trust you instincts and simply enjoy what sounds like a lovely, positive experience. Players are basically ersatz "nice guys" and they prey on the fact that there isn't really any way to tell them apart except time. So give it that and let your trueself shine through.

You might also want to read Cybogs stickies in this section. Everything he wrote applies equally to women. Basically, take risks, life is short and be yourself. Good luck.