Friends vs Family

[RSK]

I have come to a conclusion (based on my experience).

My family will bend their back for me, if I'm in trouble. And I don't just mean my immediate family. I also include most uncles and aunts and cousins and grandparents.

However, my friends pretend to be there. When push comes to shove, they dissapear (not literaly). I've helped them pass some classes in University. I even let one of them cheat from me, and he then gets A's. I didn't mind.

But I was blind. He was only 'nice' to me, because I helped him.



I say this, because I have a cousin who is the best friend ANYONE can have. I mean, I feel BLESSED to have him around. Sure, he has his own life and own friends. And we don't speak often. But when we DO meet, I feel I don't have to worry about ANYTHING! He is not gonna 'use' me.

He wants success for ME, as much as himself. I can't say that about my friends...

...well, that's my vent.



Of course, not ALL friends should be put into this category. I'm sure there are some genuinly nice people out there.

In fact, I met one of these people a while ago. But we've lost in touch. But it shows, there are people out there

[misombra]

yeah, you have to be careful about who you help out. i have the people in my life i choose to give my energy too and that's it. you'll notice that you'll start having less and less energy to devote to a lot of people, so there comes a point when you have to pick some and leave some. kinda like looking for a good apple, you know?

[RSK]

yeah, you have to be careful about who you help out. i have the people in my life i choose to give my energy too and that's it. you'll notice that you'll start having less and less energy to devote to a lot of people, so there comes a point when you have to pick some and leave some. kinda like looking for a good apple, you know?

wow! that's a fantastic way to look at it!

i think you've said that before.


and to be honest, there are a few people that surround me, that i'm running out of energy for...

...i just don't feel like devoting time and energy to them!



well, i've known one of them for almost 6 years, so i can't just cut it off, but little by little, i'm just gonna filter my way out of this 'zone' we've created between us!


thanks sombra!

[Late_vamp]

i hate ppl who use their "friends" .Everytime i meet one of these type , i feel like punching them in the eye .

[Rosebud]

Yea I that stuf is hard. It's really hard to find friends who are true friends. Your normally don't find out until soemthing comes up when you need them and they aren't there for you.

I guess the saying may be true that in your life you may only have ONE true friend that will always be by your side no matter what.

[shh!]

I am lucky I come from a large family that is very connected because my sisters have been my best friends my whole life. Friends who fall into this category are very rare. I only have two that have stood the test of time.

Misombra is right about people who drain you. Profoundly deep friendships must be mutually beneficial in order to last - people need to give as much as they receive. Anyone who doesn't do that for you should hit the road. There is nothing wrong with hanging with your cousin.

[Tone]

RK do you still hang around that one guy? Is that who you are referring to with the cheating?

Awhile back you told us about one of your friends who puts you down around chicks to make himself look better, etc.. you said you were gonna try to distance yourself from him, have you?

[alice]

Awhile back you told us about one of your friends who puts you down around chicks to make himself look better, etc.. you said you were gonna try to distance yourself from him, have you?

why are you still referring to such a person as "friend"? geeeezzzz.

[Pears]

I think that family have an obligation to be kind to one another while friends do not. I personally haven't had any "true friends" in my life. I've always been around people that come and go for short periods of time. Some people help me in times of need and for those moments, they are friends, but after that, they are just more people I know, or aquaintances. I think it is very hard for two different people to be good friends for a long time. Friends come together because of similarities usually and over time their personalities change or they physically move elsewhere. I think it is easier to count on family to be around when you need them.

[Tone]

RK do you still hang around that one guy? Is that who you are referring to with the cheating?

Awhile back you told us about one of your friends who puts you down around chicks to make himself look better, etc.. you said you were gonna try to distance yourself from him, have you?

Freaky - AFTER making this post I read you referenced him in another thread RECENTLY!

[alice]

I think that family have an obligation to be kind to one another while friends do not. I personally haven't had any "true friends" in my life. I've always been around people that come and go for short periods of time. Some people help me in times of need and for those moments, they are friends, but after that, they are just more people I know, or aquaintances.

that's sad! i've got a lot of friends, who i consider "true friends", some of them have been for more than half my life now. thinking about it, i haven't lost one of my "true friends" since i was 14. some of them i sometimes don't see for a year or more, but when we eventually do meet again, it's like that time we hadn't seen each other wouldn't have passed at all.

[Only-virgins]

Family > garbage > friends.

[Converse]

Family > garbage > friends.

Haha, you have friends?

[Only-virgins]

Haha, you have friends?

Whats so funny?. Yea, I have friends.

[alice]

Whats so funny?. Yea, I have friends.

you mean the little creatures that live in your trashcan?