Darn him anyway!

[clynn]

oooooh, I've got this bloody big exam I'm studying for and it has been sooooooooooo hard. It would be at the best of times....but since the break up (well, whatever it was - but that is what it is).....I've been completely miserable.

Crying, crying, crying. I'm so sad. Especially after this week when he came over one night He gave me a couple things of mine (things I never would have even known or cared if he had or kept - but I think he was just being clear what this was all about) - ---- and he was picking up a couple of items of his. It was really gross making that commodity exchange and I realized that is indeed what it was, it wasn't really a visit or hanging out.

It made me sadder than ever and I just can't study now. I wish that this had been put off by just 10 days ! til the bloody exam was out of the way. lol.

[Lloyd95]

How long did you two go out? I didn't thnk it was all that long.

[Tone]

clynn >:[

It's his stupid loss anyways - I never did like him.

[clynn]

You're right. I guess it wasn't that long in the scheme of things. But is was almost a year and longer than any relationship I've had in 10 years! (oh my gosh). To be specific, we went out for a couple months a year ago, then got back together a few months later.

Oh Tone, that's so brotherly-sounding of you. I mean, geeze, you barely knew him.

ha. ha.

It surprises me how upset I am and all the crying, etc. Because I definitely could have guessed I'd be sad. But the crying and the big sense of loss is really upsetting to me.

[Lloyd95]

I didn't realize it was a year. I thought it was only a few months. A year is a pretty long time invested in a relationship, unless you're under 24ish.

[clynn]

Yep. And I'm 31 and I really felt us getting quite close there too.

I question too whether it was cuz I didn't speak up and didn't express myself enough or cuz I hadn't introduced him to my mother yet (!!) or because I've been putting other things in my life on hold until I get through the exam, or, or..... you know that thing we do when these things happen.

[vashti]

Aww, poor clynn! Stop second guessing yourself. Honestly, this probably didn't have much to do with you at all. He probably just started getting cold feet. Some men have such a hard time being attached to a woman...

[Rosebud]

I'm so sorry sweetie! I know these things are really hard, and especially when you can't get your mind off htem no matter what you do.

Vashti's right, stop second guessing yourself on all this, you can't blame yourself for anything that has happened because you don't know if things would have been different or not.

And as hard as it is you just have to look at the whole situation as "It just wasn't meant to be". I know there's tons of guys out there who would be want to be with you and adore you the way they should. Your a good person and you deserve someone who will treat you as such.

Hang in there hun, things do get easier, but it all takes time!

[clynn]

NO! No, you guys.

Don't you know...you're supposed to say, "yes, you did screw up" there is all sorts of hope, why are you giving up?

Yes, Yes, you definitely should've made that near-despearate call late last night when you were crying and couldn't sleep just to make sure for certain he knows you care!

I'm kidding of course. And I made no such call. At least I've learned something with age!

Thanks for the kind words. Still, its a struggle. It had been long enough and involved enough that he'd become incorporated into my normal life, not just a fun thing now and then. So it will take some readjusting to go back to just thinking about me again.

Plus! I think, at this age, gosh, I still don't seem to be able to make it work with someone.

[Tone]

The best things in life never come easy, clynn. Why would love be any different?

Just try to be strong, know that the sun always comes out after the rain. You're such a genuine person that it won't be long for a NICE man to come along and see that in you. I still think this guy was a total moron for ever dumpin someone like you - so good riddance and again, it's HIS LOSS!

You know you're gonna be okay. We all know you're gonna be okay. So try not to hang that head down so low, okay? *wipes away clynn's tears*

[NeoSeminole]

I'm curious, what's the longest you've been single?

[Lloyd95]

I'm curious, what's the longest you've been single?

Probably the first 16-17 years of her life?

[clynn]

Yes, the first years of my life!

hmmm.....To sum up:
I've dated pretty consistently for the last number of years....and had some short term relationships (less than 3 months) .... it has been since 1996 that I've been in a long term stable relationship.
Except this that just ended which was close to a year.
During the last 10 years there have been long periods of single-dom mixed with steady periods of dating but not anyone seriously or long lasting.

There's the goods.

Why, Neo?

[Rosebud]

NO! No, you guys.

Don't you know...you're supposed to say, "yes, you did screw up" there is all sorts of hope, why are you giving up?

Yes, Yes, you definitely should've made that near-despearate call late last night when you were crying and couldn't sleep just to make sure for certain he knows you care!

I'm kidding of course. And I made no such call. At least I've learned something with age!

Thanks for the kind words. Still, its a struggle. It had been long enough and involved enough that he'd become incorporated into my normal life, not just a fun thing now and then. So it will take some readjusting to go back to just thinking about me again.

Plus! I think, at this age, gosh, I still don't seem to be able to make it work with someone.

Have you guys finalized anything? I mean have you actually said it's over? The more I'm thinking about all this, there is more you could do but it depends on what has been discussed and what you really want.

[Lloyd95]

Have you guys finalized anything? I mean have you actually said it's over? The more I'm thinking about all this, there is more you could do but it depends on what has been discussed and what you really want.

The part in bold made me laugh.