forbidden love

[Late_vamp]

you do realize that its your 1st boyfriend ... and i know you think that he's gonna stick around forever and youll love him and live happely ever after ... but ... that doesnt happen ... some extremely rare exceptions ... but considering your family is against you and you seem very naive about this ... then dont get it into your head that your going to marry this guy or else your just waiting to be deeply hurt in the future ... until your wearing your dress and your getting married and saying "i do " ... dont even think about it ... dont give yourslelf to much expectations .

because he is your 1st BF you are feeling like this ... wait a little while ... i dont know how long youv been together but i figure less than a year ... after a couple of more months/years ... you will see if you can even start to consider something alot more serious .
lets face it ... you have little or no experience to dating prior to him ... maybe you see him as someone special but he's just a regular guy with funky eyes . Most probably your parents realise this .... im just saying i remeber my 1st GF ... i guess you could say theres nothing like your 1st love ... but it doesnt mean that your in love now that youll always be with the same person and that the world will end if you dont end up with him ...

ps : dont make him your world ... because when he's gone ... you will be crushed (taken from me leaving my ex)

[clynn]

Oh late_vamp, you're such a heartbreaker!

[secrets]

..i understand your point late-Vamp...but when was your first gf...i didnt date until i realized i was ready..and until i was ready to comitt to someone and make sure that someone was worth it....honestly...and these rare relationships that you speak of exist..in A) my parents...B) my aunt and uncle...C) my cousin...and many others..lol..im not trying to say that youre wrong..or that your facts are inaccurate..but when it comes to me and relationship...i get with the one thats worth it..and honestly..mike is worth it..and i cant go on living in a "what could have been" life..

it got worse today though guys...my parents took my cell phone and my car...yes...i know..honestly..nothing this bad had ever happened to me before...i have been a pretty trusted person...and never been grounded and stuff...never have they taken away my stuff like this....this is getting out of control...and i know i might sound crazy...but i dont wanna let go of mike...this could be my stubborn nature...or my inner instinct that says that we are meant to be..honestly...i cant deal with this..im soo torn inside..and my dad is threatening to kick me out of the house...and here i ammm...still sticking to mike....guys...he's something else to me...i swearrrrrr...and its not like i wanna leave my family for him..i wanna be with him and have my family be ok with it...

..i hate this situation.....*tearssss*

[secrets]

..tonight might be the breaking point guys...on valentine's day out of all days...

and by breaking point...i mean...im lay out everything on the table..with hopes of dad not kicking me out..handing my car keys back..

...i wish they just knew that honestly..if they were accepting of this..there would be nothing to hide..NOTHING...cause i have never kept any secrets from my family except this....

i didnt know it was such a sin to love someone!!!

honestly..i think..would they really be accepting of a macedonian guy that treated me bad..?? like..im sure they would be thrilled that he was mak...

*pary for me guys* pretty please..and i love all your input..

if i dont get back to this thread in the next day..i guess my laptop and my entire life is gone too...so i'll meet you at the funeral...realllyyy...

[Tone]

Best of luck secrets.

[secrets]

thanks so much...interesting how people are following my story..lol..honestly though guys..i am breaking down.and this is just one of the many ways in which i try to vent....oh man..i dread my parents homecoming..what if they kick me out..?? that is sooo extremeeeee...

[Late_vamp]

what about him ... what does he have to say in all this ... doesnt he mind ?

i mean if i would really love this girl and her family is tearing her apart , i would tell her to slow down a little and not to lose her family ... if we are truly meant to be , we will later on somehow .

Clynn ... yea i can be a heartbraker ... but also a sweet guy .

[vashti]

Does your parent's concern by any chance have to do with the difficulty between Muslims and Christians? I only ask because many Muslims are Asian, and I know a bit about the conflict in your region...

[secrets]

oh..no hes not muslim..im orthodox..and he's catholic...yeah..the muslim thing would be another issue...

butyeah...he is really concerned..honestly..he tries to be strong..because im really weak right now..and he really doesnt wanna leave me..cause he knows im so fragile right now...and he just cares about me..and he's not being selfish..he is being soo understanding...and trying to make the best of this..he is tryingto ask me if he can come talk to my parents..or just say hi at the door..he's just being a good boyfriend and giving me a hug when i need one (when i get a chance to see him..barelyyyy now..cause i have no car or phone)..

..he always asks me if i can handle this...and i tell him gonna have to try..cause i dont wanna let go..and evidently..he doesnt either...we meantoo much to eachother...really..he gets sad with me..cause he didnt think it would get THISSS BADDDD...cause this is really extreme..as you can telll..

he wants to take me to the doctor cause of all my stress..but i cant even leave the house...honestly..he seems to be the only one here that is caring about my wellbeing and my feelings..cause everyone else is justyelling and screaming and taking stuff away from me..and not even caring that im crying.or upset..or stressed...

honestly..if i give in this time..and i meet someone else..lets say..and my parents dont like them..i will have to give in again..?? i cant live with myself like that..what kind of life is that..??

[vashti]

From which country do his ancestors come? I mean, could he be easily mistaken for a Muslim?

With the ethnic cleansing that occurred in your region during the 1990s, I don't blame your parents for being afraid, whether he appears "Muslim" or not. There is nothing like first-hand experience to give you a reason to be afraid of your neighbors.

And by the way, I would think it is possible that they are more motivated by fear for your safety than they are worried about what the neighbors are gossiping about.

[Late_vamp]

ok i dont have no cell phone and no car of my own (altho i still drive) ... and i had no problem with meeting any girls and spending time with them ... how come nowadays so many ppl make their cellphones their 3rd arm? cant you figure something out ?

hey im going to sarahs house to study ... hey im going to the movies with my friends ... hey i have girl problems im going to the doctor ... geez , what happened to all the rule braking kids ... am i the only one left ?

[Mish]

Odds are, you're sooner or later going to have to choose between loving him and moving out, or losing him and living in. As things are, you apparently can't have both.

I agree with this post. I understand that it shouldn't be like this, but noone promised anyone that life would be fair. You may want to analyze and consider the consequances of both actions. If it comes down to it, which one is more important for you at this point in time, being with your family and living by their rules (However iron hand these rules maybe) or going out on a limb and choosing personal freedom. Many factors to consider in this will be, can you support yourself if living on your own? (Savings, work, security), alternative factor to consider, can you tolerate living in an environemnt hostile or intollerant of you? (As in your current situation) Your parents at the moment are pushing you to an extreme choice that may decide the future and the rest of your life. Will they make you or will they break you, the choice is entirely up to you...

Good Luck

[secrets]

guys..i am still alive..but barely holding on for dear life...its worse than ever...and i still havent left mike..i am not going tooo..i just think i am gonna try to be ok now..TRYYYYYY..but i wont be guys...i cant...and then maybe i will choose to live on residence next year for school..

they forced me to quit my job because i work with mike..now both of us are quitting...

this is crazyyy

i love him...

not leaving him...

[vashti]

Yes, but you didn't answer my question. See post 40.

Hmm... an Asian guy named Mike living in Albania? What are the odds?

[whaywardj]

Let me see, here: You do something your parents don't like; they force you to quit your job so you're even MORE dependent on them...and you're 19?

What's wrong with this picture?

(It's beginning to sound like a Lloyd concoction.)