Breaking somebody's heart: how do you do it?

[needHelpBad]

In short I need advice on how to break up with my girlfriend. We have been together for almost 4 years, and I can't stand for it to go on any further. I have wanted to end this relationship for over a year now and I have no idea how to do it. How do you break up with somebody who has nobody else in their life and is completely emotionally dependent on you?

I don't hate this girl, but I don't love her either. The problem is that she is in love with me and want's to get married. She often steers the conversation in that direction too, and I can't stand it.

[XPixiedustX]

just end it...you'll only hurt he rmore the longer you wait...and we all know staying with her, will be unfair to her anyway.

[King Zarathu]

Just come out and tell her--I was in the very same situation. She was crazy about me, talking about marriage and all of that shit...

You just need to get it done man, otherwise it will assrape you in the long run, trust me.

[shh!]

Just come out and tell her--I was in the very same situation. She was crazy about me, talking about marriage and all of that shit...

I thought you were only 15!!

Needhelpbad: There is no way to avoid hurting her. I think you just need to tell her that things aren't working for you anymore, she's a great girl (blah blah blah) but you guys have just outgrown each other, and it is time to recognize that before you guys make a big mistake.

I doubt she'll be shocked.

[Gigabitch]

Be clear and don't get emotionally torqued up. She'll probably try all sorts of things to make you stay. Don't give in to this,. Don't support crazy behavior.

[squirrley]

Id be honest and tell her now. Waiting only prolongs the pain. 4 years is a long investment and she needs to know so she can get along with her healing process. I would STRONLGY recommend you also break those ties completely. If you hang around even after the breakup you will give her false hope. Trust me on this one. Some people can remain friends but when one has feelings as she does, its not going to happen. Dont go running to her when she needs you, its her way of trying to hang on.

Dont run her around in circles. Get to the point, yes saying she's been all those wonderful things doesnt make the blow any easier. You just have to be firm in the fact this relationship isnt what you want. She WILL cry her butt off, so be prepared. Her tears will wrench your heart and you might second guess, but you know what you want, so stick to your guns. It stinks ending it cause you know youre going to hurt her, but you have to whats best for the both of you.

Good luck!

[Converse]

Be honest and don't be an a$$ about it!

[confused01]

hi dear i'm in the same situation i'm trying to break up with my bf for over a year but still i feel bad and forgive him and here i'm still with him but trying again to breakup with him since he isn't here i believe it'll be easier for bpth of us, and yeah true you'll suffer more if you stay in that relationship, if you are not willing to break her heart.
you can either be direct which usually is very hurtful, or you can make her hate you. or at least make something that will make her convinced that you are not for each other example if she likes something this way you do it the oposite way, if she likes you to be home early come late, if she likes going out with you stop going out with her, and stop calling her, she'll get to the conclusion by herself. if you really care about her feelings. simply do not cooparate with her
i feel bad for my boyfreind too i still love him but i couldn't stand the way he treated me, i didn't like it and i'm using time and the fact that i don't call and he doesn't call either to help me break up with him, i really want the best for him.
and i hope you'll get over it soon man do what you think is fair for both of you ,and find a solution so you won't regret anything in the futur

[needHelpBad]

Dont run her around in circles. Get to the point, yes saying she's been all those wonderful things doesnt make the blow any easier. You just have to be firm in the fact this relationship isnt what you want. She WILL cry her butt off, so be prepared. Her tears will wrench your heart and you might second guess, but you know what you want, so stick to your guns. It stinks ending it cause you know youre going to hurt her, but you have to whats best for the both of you.
Good luck!

I have broken up with her before... Twice. Both times took about 5 hours, and both times we got back together mainly because she cried ... actually that's also the reason we've been together for so long. That's even the reason we moved in together for a year. She brought up wanting to move in together, I hesitated, she cried, and that was that.
Why do women have to cry? It's not fair to the other person to guilt them into anything. It really is a ridiculous situation though: I'm too spineless to do anything, and she is too emotionally unstable to survive without me.

[King Zarathu]

I thought you were only 15!!

Yes! I am only 15, and she was talking about marriage. ****ed up.

[vashti]

I'm too spineless to do anything, and she is too emotionally unstable to survive without me.

You may indeed be spineless, but I doubt very seriously that she NEEDS you to survive. This is just the story you tell yourself when she cries.

I suggest you work on your self-professed spinelessness, and quit allowing her tears to manipulate you. You will have to tolerate the uncomfortable feelings you have about calling things off, and maybe you will even have to feel like the "bad guy" for a while. Otherwise, you will be in the same situation 20 years from now. Is that what you really want?

[xwfuro]

In short I need advice on how to break up with my girlfriend. We have been together for almost 4 years, and I can't stand for it to go on any further. I have wanted to end this relationship for over a year now and I have no idea how to do it. How do you break up with somebody who has nobody else in their life and is completely emotionally dependent on you?

I don't hate this girl, but I don't love her either. The problem is that she is in love with me and want's to get married. She often steers the conversation in that direction too, and I can't stand it.

okay well i was in a 3year year relationship i couldnt stand basically this is ho i did it.. and yes its not the best or nicest way but its the only thing that worked it just had to end and nothing esle worked.. Just dont ever talk to her again. Yeah she will call and stuff but just dont answer avoid her and after a few weeks she will get the idea the only thing weird after that is running into her in public but after that happens like 3 times its not even a big deal anymore.. trust me ive been there done it sounds lame and shit but its true. im fine now

most important thing is dont give in to her trying to make contact you have to stay true to yourself otherwise this wont ever work. its gonna make you feel like a complete asshole etc but it comes down to the relationship needs to end and if it comes down to it this is how i did it.

[vashti]

okay well i was in a 3year year relationship i couldnt stand basically this is ho i did it.. and yes its not the best or nicest way but its the only thing that worked it just had to end and nothing esle worked.. Just dont ever talk to her again. Yeah she will call and stuff but just dont answer avoid her and after a few weeks she will get the idea the only thing weird after that is running into her in public but after that happens like 3 times its not even a big deal anymore.. trust me ive been there done it sounds lame and shit but its true. im fine now

most important thing is dont give in to her trying to make contact you have to stay true to yourself otherwise this wont ever work. its gonna make you feel like a complete asshole etc but it comes down to the relationship needs to end and if it comes down to it this is how i did it.

That is an extremely cowardly way of breaking up with someone. You probably would have respected yourself more if you had acted like a man.

[gHEXjt]

Most of us have dealt w/heartbreak or dished it out. Either way, you need to tell her you're breaking up with her. Tell her you don't love her anymore, give her all your reasons, and leave it at that. Make a point to tell her why you want to break up, if she tries to guilt you, just leave. Don't be a coward, just do it. Breaking up sucks, but ending any relationship does. You're hurting both of you by staying w/her.

[xwfuro]

That is an extremely cowardly way of breaking up with someone. You probably would have respected yourself more if you had acted like a man.

okay so after trying to end it well over 50 times and just simply not be able to keep no contact and giving into her everytime? and manipulations like you have never seen, i dont have the right to do that? i am plenty of a man and that was my last resort,