Is no answer an answer?

[Jeblina]

I posted a while ago, asking about a strange situation with my best friend and her boyfriend. He suddenly came to her, after some drama with his ex girlfriend, and said that he didn't know what he wanted....she, being hopelessly in love with this guy, told him to take whatever time that he needed to figure things out, and to then tell her what he wants once he figures it out....she also told him that she wanted to be with him, but only if he REALLY wanted to be with her....blah blah blah.

Since that time, she has gotten COMPLETELY mixed messages...I hear from her every day, and each day, it's a different thing. 4 or 5 days ago, he sends her a text message out of the blue saying that he misses her. He then calls her to tell her that he misses her, and that he'll call her later....then, later that same evening, he texts her again, repeating that he misses her...specifically, "I miss you SO much...I truly miss everything about you..."...but he never calls her. She texts him back in the morning, saying that she misses him too.

The next day, he texts her, and says that he's going to call her after he gets home from work....no phone call. She's texted him a few times since then, and she gets to response from him.

It's been nearly 2 full weeks since he first told her that he didn't know what he wanted...she's frustrated and disappointed...and is starting to want some closure on this situation....so she wants to talk to him about what's going on...

I'm tempted to tell her that sometimes no answer is an answer in itself....what do you guys think?

[Gigabitch]

This sounds like something I went through about five months ago, and you know what? I never got a clear answer.

When I saw him in person, the world revolved around me. He gave me the Look of Love and would say things like, "I can't believe a girl like you would actually give me the time of day". Later (like 24 hours later) he'd say things like, "I never promised you anything."

I finally had to come to the conclusion that he was a wicked ****ed-up, emotionally irresponsible dick salesman, and I couldn't have him around me.

It took forever to get over it, because I got no closure, but I am over it. I think your friend would do herself a favor to declare NC. (A phrase I just learned)

[clynn]

Yes, that does sound like this guy is being reckless with her emotions. And selfish.

[Gigabitch]

I'd be willing to bet he's got something else going on with another girl, and how interested he is in your friend depends on how that other relationship is going at the time.

You should take her out drinking.

[RoxyFoxy]

No answer from a guy, unless he's trying to surprise you, means no.

[Jeblina]

You should take her out drinking.

I really wish that I could....I'm in Florida, she's in California....

[Jeblina]

No answer from a guy, unless he's trying to surprise you, means no.

I thought so too....but then I couldn't explain the text messages repeating over and over how much he misses her...

[shh!]

I thought so too....but then I couldn't explain the text messages repeating over and over how much he misses her...

drunk and guilty...

[Jeblina]

drunk and guilty...

He rarely drinks, and a few of those texts came to her when he was at work...he can't drink there.....guilty I believe....but why wouldn't he just leave it alone? Wouldn't it be easier for him to say nothing and let it die away, than send texts to her saying how much he misses her....especially when he sees her at his work on a weekly basis anyway?

[TAVS]

He's a POS; you should recognize them at first site Jeblina.

[Jeblina]

He's a POS; you should recognize them at first site Jeblina.

Yes, thank you...I guess, by now, I SHOULD be able to recognize them at first sight....but, as I'm sure that you're well aware, I don't

[RogerWilco]

Yes, thank you...I guess, by now, I SHOULD be able to recognize them at first sight....but, as I'm sure that you're well aware, I don't

Don't feel bad, most girls don't. Which is why they date them so often.

[carpflounder]

I think that ya'll are doing to much reading into the situation.
Anytime I hear crap about "texts" I can see that there is childish games around.

[carpflounder]

I really wish that I could....I'm in Florida, she's in California....

Where in California?? Carp will take her out.

[Gigabitch]

Bet Carp can use a phone, too.