breaking up on bad term

[stealthninjax]

My gf just recently broke up with me. We left on very bad term. She said that she doesn't want to be my gf or my friend any more and she never wants to talk to me ever again. It hurts cuz i've been pretty good/close friend with her for 9 months before we started dating. She is also my first girlfriend. Im trying to talk to her but its no use cuz she doesn't want to. She blocked my aim, email, and phone... I've pretty much decided to let go and not try to get back with her but i still want to save the friendship cuz after all 9 months is a long time and she was a cool friend.

When we broke up , she left a lot of thigns hanging so i'm not so clear about the reason why she wanted it that way. so yea, is there anyway i can save the friendship? or its all over now.

[squirrley]

Hon-the best thing to do is give her space right now. For whatever reason she ended it, it's in her own head, no excuse will satisfy you at this time and it'll drive ya nuts, but give her some space dude! Let her wonder what you're doing.

[sfalexi]

Nine months isn't that long a time. It may seem like it now, but it's really not. I've known my good friends ALL for over fifteen years. Now that's a long time. Knowing someone for nine months isn't even a year. I've known college roommates for longer (and friendships still faded). Let it go. She doesn't want you to contact her. So unless you want that restraining order, stop trying.

[stealthninjax]

the last 4 or 5 days, i stopped tryign to contact her and im sorta gettin use to not seeing her and acceptin the fact that the relationship is over. But today, i happened to see her in class and we sat together. It wasn't uncomfortable seeing her at all and she was acting sorta playful and even joked a round a little. Afterclass, we walked with a friend and gave each other eye contacts. So...What does this mean? is she giving me signals that shes still interested? . I still like her but im not planning to fall head over heel for her anytime soon.

[MVPlaya]

Homie, those are not signals... if she consciously blocked your aim/phone/e-mail then don't find try to find solace in a few seconds of eye contact.

[dazedandconfused]

here's what i would do: make her feel like you lost all interest in her, maybe even mention a girl you like (don't overdo it though, this is very delicate!). then the story will unfold one of two ways (there is a third one, but it's unlikely).
1. she is not interested in you as a guy. seeing that you moved on (even if you put on a show, but a good one!) and shifted your attention to other girls, she will relax and be willing to spend time with you as a friend. you claim you want just that, so we hit bull's eye.
2. she still likes you (prolongued eye contact during moments of silence, especially with others around, might be indicative of just that). in that case she will notice how you are no longer paying special attention to her and will only start craving it more and more (women's main weakness - they LOVE attention). she will want you back and will make that very clear (in her understanding that is. for us, guys, or for me at least, sometimes interpreting clues from women is like reading ancient chinese). result: you two get back together (i take it this is something you might still want since it was HER who initiated the break-up). the danger here is her wanting you back just because you supposedly lost interest in her. as soon as interest is restored she might go back to being a satisfied predator who just booked another victim/near escapee. make sure she is for real.
3. unlikely, like i said, because she seems to be very open about how she feels. she comes to really like you again and develops/restores feelings for you but is afraid of letting those feelings show. in that case friendship will be awesome, because she will always want to spend time with you and listen to you. she will probably not make a move though (like i said, in your case this is unlikely - she would make a move, cause she seems to be the braver type).

anyways, constrain yourself and just give her space. let her sort her feelings and again get used to being with you and not feeling pressure. it will pay off.

after your first post i wanted to tell you to forget about her because she hates your guts, but your second post proved me wrong. so there is hope cheer up.

just be careful: if you think she is interested in not being just friends, but getting back together as lovers, give it some more time before you act on it. because you might just be interpreting her signs in the wrong way. then she really will hate your guts for sure.

[IceQueen]

The only way you can be friends with a person is if he/she wants it as well. She doesn't. End of story. Get other friends.