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Thread: Complicated..

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corntown, Ia
    Posts
    103

    Complicated..

    Hello everyone,
    My ex and I had been dating for two and a half years. She was the first person I've ever dated as I am very timid and was never really intererested in women till later than most people. Things wen't great for those almost three years. Of course, we had our occasional fights, but we were always able to sit down and talk them out and everything worked out fine. I got my ,at the time, girlfriend a job because she was looking for one and I happened to have an "in" at a place and she seemed really happy about it. The problem is that one of her employees at the job was always hitting on her and eventually told her that he had feelings for her. She began to want to spend time with him, which I didn't have any problem with because I trusted her. Of course this made me uncomfortable because I knew that he had told her that he had feelings for her, but whenever I brought it up it became an issue of me not trusting her and nothing ever got resolved. Eventually she began to want to spend more and more time with this guy and one night when I was supposed to pick her up from work and we were going to hang out, i ended up waiting an extra 45 mins for her. When I went in to look for her I disovered that she had been off for a good 30 mins and had decided to hang out in back while she waited for this guy to get off. I promptly left and when she called 20 mins later wondering where I was I told her all that had transpired. She asked me to come over to her house and there she broke up with me. This is where things get challenging. For the first week I had the initial terrible reaction of attempting to bargain with her to get her back, then I tried a week of completly no contact which led to her starting to call me, even though at this time she was already dating this new guy. We proceeded to hang out a few times and at the end of each time she would either end up kissing me or telling me that she loved me. This only confused me more. She has said many times that she still loves me and that she can't imagine her life without me in it, but at the same time she says she wants to see where things go with the other guy. I've been told by many others that she just wants to have her cake and eat it too, but I still believe that there's a chance between us because whenever we hung out I never made attempts to kiss her, she was the one making all the moves. She sasy that everytime we hang out she feels closer and closer to me and she still calls me and wants to talk every night. It seems very much like she doesn't know what she wants, but that she still, in some way, wants to be with me. So, does it seem compleatly idiotic for me to continue to spend time with her in the hopes of her coming back to me, or should I cut off all contact and see what happens from there? She IS going out with this other guy, but she only sees him once a week outside of the work enviroment. I'm not one to usually be an ass and intrude on someone elses relationship but I also feel like theres still a chance and that I shouldn't give up yet..what do you educated people think??

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    43
    i think she is stringing you along...so that when things turn bad between her and that guy she still has you..well that just what i think don't take my words and actuly let her go i m just thinking that it.

    It reeally up to you tho

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    16,935
    I think you should take someone else out on a date. No big deal, just a date, and see where that leads you.

    Your ex has someone else- why shouldn't you?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    19
    Yes I agree with giga...what do you have to lose..

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    temp-houston perm-new orleans
    Posts
    49
    Why would you want to wait around for your girlfriend or exgirlfriend to get done having her fun and if she doesn't find anything better come back to you. She just wants you there in case it doesn't work out with this other guy. First of all you allowed her to start this relationship with another man because you should not have allowed her to spend personal time with him in the beginning. You should have told her not to do it because first of all it was disrespecting you and second of all she has a boyfriend. It seems like she took your kindness for a weakness.

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