CHeating

[JohnsonROd]

So, I'm just on my way back from a 2 week trip...

2 weeks before I left, I started seeing this girl, and we agreed that we were going to be exclusive from there on in...

I was really good the entire trip, until 2 days before my return flight...

Before I left, she mentioned that if I did get with another girl... just don't tell me about it.

Never cheated before... and feeling pretty guilty about it...

And yes, I know we've only been together a short time, but I feel very strongly against cheating...

Would you want to know? And if you did would you be able to handle this situation? (The trip was booked well before we even met)

Let me know...

[Aveline_Rei]

I'm not sure. We all say these kind of things but how many really mean it. If I was the one that said it to you and you told me about it. I would be more upset about the fact that you did respected my wish to not know. That was the point of telling you I don't want to know about it. So, as far as that goes I would rather find out from someone else, assuming that I even care enough to be bothered by it.

[xwfuro]

well that tells you , your still experimenting and not sure what you want in life.. most young relationships are experimentation i dont think any of us realize that until we get older. looking back i realize how serious i took my relationships and i regret it a lot because i had a lot of other opportunities. dont let this get to you too much, ask yourself one thing: can you see yourself honestly staying together with her forever FOREVER?

[confused01]

in my case i'd rather find out from you than from others, i'll be of course upset and i might not trust you for a while but i will respect the fact you were honest with me, and that will help me get the trust back, and also if you really want her you should be honest with her, as XWFURO says is it going to last forever, if not don't boder.
it's your decision to make

[mini696]

I would like to know if I have been cheated on so I can dump the bitches ass out of my life.

[miffi01]

I think the fact that you're feeling guilty tells u something. Regardless of how long or short a time you have been together with your girlfriend, you made a commitment to her to be exclusive and you went with someone else.

Be honest and tell her the truth. She will appreciate it and you're then giving her the right to choose how she feels about it and to make a decision about she wants. In the end, it's the only way to stop feeling guilty. Better to sort this out early on, than to leave it and have secrets!! Secrets and lies are not a good foundation for a new relationship

[clynn]

I don't know. IF she said she doesn't want to know, she probably really doens't want to know.

What good would it do to tell her?

Are you ever going to see this other girl again? Do you plan to keep in touch with the other girl? IF the answers are no, then I think you should just count your lucky stars you've got a nice girl at home, keep your mouth shut and don't ever do it again.

[vashti]

I agree with Clynn. If you have learned your lesson (TRULY) then I would just shut up about out, and not try to relieve your guilt by throwing it all on your girl.

[kivvakitten]

If it were me, I would want to know.

Although you're guaranteed to make her upset, if you feel strongly for her you should tell her even though she told you not to.

Maybe taking her out to dinner someplace nice and then explaining to her that you understand she didn't want to know, but you want to be with her for a long time and believe that there must be no secrets between you.

Tell her the truth, that you feel bad for what happened and that you will never do it ever again.

And mean it.

[squirrley]

Tsk Tsk Tsk...cheating is NEVER good even when the other SO tells you "just dont tell me" cause in reality it will come back and bite someone in the ass. Granted you had planned prior to meeting and dating exclusive but your'e an adult I assume or old enough to "know better" and make better conscience decisions with your mind rather than your penis.

If she told you dont tell her, something inside her already knows, I honestly believe that could cause problems down the road. Whether you want to beleive it or not, if you really liked this woman you wouldnt have cheated right?

I guess my thinking is old fashion. When youre exclusive youre exclusive in every sense. Maybe this will be a lifes lesson for you.

Goodluck!!!!

[lovesjoyajm]

I agree with Clynn. If you have learned your lesson (TRULY) then I would just shut up about out, and not try to relieve your guilt by throwing it all on your girl.

I disagree. I think lying and cheating are the two absolute worst things you can do in a relationship. If you don't tell her, you'll be doing both. I know she said she doesn't want to know, but I don't think this says she's a "nice girl" - it seems more like she'd rather be ignorant and happy. I guess it's up to you, but if I'd made a commitment to someone and they broke it two weeks later, I'd want to know...

[lovesjoyajm]

Oh yeah - I can't believe she told you that if she really trusted you. If you trust someone, you trust them to NOT cheat, right?

[JohnsonROd]

Hmmm... well. I have no plans on seeing this other girl ever again... didn't even get her email address.

I think it's probably wisest not to say anything at this point... that would surely end the relationship before it's even begun.

I know I cheated, but I've never done it before in the past... and I know I wont do it again...

I think it wisest to wait and see.... If I want to spend my life with her... I'll let the skeleton out of the closet

[miffi01]

Hmmm... If I want to spend my life with her... I'll let the skeleton out of the closet

...and what says she's going to want to spend the rest of her life with you after you hid this from her from day one?

[vashti]

I think if you are going to tell her, you should tell her now, before your relationship evolves into a very deep one. The betrayal will feel 10 times worse once she finds out you aren't the man she thought you were. If you choose not to tell her, then don't EVER tell her. She will never be able to trust you again.