Would you stop talking to a guy-friend if he fell in love with you?

[Kay-C]

I would stop being friends with someone who fell in love with me if I were not interested in a romantic relationship. Why give false hope?

I have to say that i totally disagree with this. How possible would the guy know that you are not prepared for romantic relationship? Wouldn't it be unfair for that guy? Even if a girl rejected the guy, they can still be friends if both understand the conditions well. If the girl simply ignored the guy, it will only make things go even worst.

[vashti]

Hmm... I wasn't asking for anyone to agree - I was simply stating that *I* would not continue in a friendship with someone who cared for me in a different way than I cared for them, as they would always be hoping for more than I would be willing to give, and it sets up a situation where resentment could easily fester. Also, it seems a bit cruel to encourage that sort of false hope.

Also, I don't think this dynamic constitutes and actual friendship. This would be called "unrequited love".

[Gigabitch]

Yeah, I wouldn't go there either. I would always be cringing, waiting for those three little words to come out.

[sw1]

My ex gf shut me out because I still have feelings. Wont even look at me , and it hurts bad . Ignoring a guy is the worst thing you could do. Talk to him and tell him what is going on, and then go your different ways.

[bugmenot]

holy shit is this some new trend going on? same thing happened to me

and me!

My ex gf shut me out because I still have feelings. Wont even look at me , and it hurts bad . Ignoring a guy is the worst thing you could do. Talk to him and tell him what is going on, and then go your different ways.

right on, ignoring hurts like hell

I would stop being friends with someone who fell in love with me if I were not interested in a romantic relationship. Why give false hope?

! thats an awful thing to do, they fall in love with you, but understand that you dont feel the same way, they survive, yet you kick them in the face buy stop being friends with them! how nice you are!

[vashti]

Actually, I think it IS nicer to do that than it would be to let them to continue to pine away over me. Then again, I am not in need of worshippers to follow me around to boost my self esteem.

BTW - of course I would tell them WHY I was not going to continue the friendship...

[artyemi]

Hmmm... I remember some guy not too long ago he said he would rather be given the choice of whether or not to remain friends with someone that he likes who doesn't like him back than just to have the person stop being friends with him.

But me, I'd go for the avoid the person if you don't return the favor. Why string them along?

[Whizza]

Well in my experience this is what immature girls do. I mean how pathetic can you get? They're effectively saying "If I can't see it then it isn't happening". It's a bugger to get over something like this and the awkwardness it creates can leave you hating that person. It also goes to show that they never valued your friendship from the start, which in itself proves that they weren't worth knowing. Far too often do people these days (mostly girls) say things that they don't mean. I would like to say that it is possible for a friendship to remain intact after something like this, or even that not ignoring you is the best result you could hope for...sadly it's never happened to me and I wouldn't like to comment. So many girls just can't face life and so cowardly turn their backs and continue to date the spineless freudian-complex satisfying jerks that they're used to. Goes to show at least that they're not the girls for you.

It is surprisingly therapeutic to hear that we're not alone on this though. I walked past an argument between a girl and her admirer's best mate, in which she said, "I don't want to lead him on". Change the record...

[youre it]

I had been good friends with this girl for more than a year and then I started having feelings for her....I never told her about it but I guess she realised my feelings and told me that she didnt want to be my friend any more. Would you have done that?

Honestly, that's shitty. If I didn't feel the same way I'd tell him right away so I didn't feel like I was leading him on or giving him hope for something that wasn't there, but I most definitely would not have ended the friendship if it was a true friendship...I'm sorry =\

[vashti]

Well in my experience this is what immature girls do....

That is interesting, because it is all the GROWN women who are taking this position. The young girls are the ones who insist on hanging on...

[Brucie]

Its definatly a predicament that should be avoided, because when you let them hang aorund still, they tend to try and get close, leading to the i dont wanna hang out ever again setup. It comes down to if the one interested can contain him/herself and realize that it wont happen. As it happened to me, she lead me on and then said no, thus makin shit awkward, so then when i wanted to hang out juss as friends, she immediatly rejected and then asked for me to never talk to her again, even tho im not quite sure why they say that, it seems to be how they view it.

[1averagejoe]

As a guy...it's happened to me, and I admit I have done it multiple times. I just think when you don't know how to respond and what to do you just sort of shut them out and go into somewhat of a denial, as if it never happened.

[Draconis]

I've had a few friends tell me of their feelings for me. I just explain that I don't feel that way tword them. One or two are like brothers to me. Eventually the feelings will fade or sometimes the other will start feeling the same.
I dated a guy for a long time who started out as one of my best friends. The only thing you need to ask yourself is if your prepared for the friendship possibly getting messed up if you break up.

[easilyinspired]

its not immature, its realistic.

if u are friends with a guy (no more) and he starts to get all lovey dovey, do u know how awkward the girl can feel?

when the feeling isn't mutual its pathetic for the guy to want to "stay friends" because unless he could magically stop liking her altogether its just going to turn into a shitty scenario.

[straight&56]

Dunno. He just used to drive by her house every day and shit.

And she found it very difficult to get the stain off her driveway.
He he.