What do I do?

[magnole]

I would appreciate an advice on this situation. I have been visiting this market for about two years. One of the Managers has tried different approaches at different times to show interest. I am a very shy woman and also in my culture the man always makes every move. Lately, he has shown me interest in different ways. Going through the isles after me, first turning his face from me, than in the next isle he would look at me in a very loving way. The last time, I was paying and he pretended to ignore me and when I was about to leave out the door all the suddenly he turned around and look at me like saying, I cought you looking at me too. I had to lagh, than he got very close to me and I got completly blind, I was gone for a moment, but I reacted and just ran away from him. I don't know why, maybe because we are in a public place, or because I am afraid. I really like him and would like to be able to correspond him. After that he tried one more time to walk towards me and looked at me in a very loving way. I get very nervous. I wish he was more responsive, but again I am very shy. I wrote him a note and sent it with one of his employees. In the note I asked him to find a sensitive and logic explanation to my reactions, that are far away from wanting to reject him, that I consider all he did to get my attention beautiful and touching and that I think that he is a man of great values and that I also wanted to be his friend. I give him my number in the note, but he never called me and it has been more than a week. What do you think? In the note I ask him to forgive me for my behaviour. It is a very nice note with a rose. Please advise. I don't understand men's reactions sometimes. Thank you

[King Zarathu]

Interestingly enough, my mom said that in her culture the man always does everything to. Her love life ****ing sucks.

You see, you're going to have to get over the simple fact that due to your "high standards" and "the way you were raised" you cannot make a move on a man. Does this make you a whore? Let's find out:

whore Pronunciation Key (hôr, hr)
n.

1. A prostitute.
2. A person considered sexually promiscuous.
3. A person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain.

[Dictionary.com]

Now, as far as I know, I don't think you're a prostitute, nor are you sexually promiscuous (if I'm wrong here, let me know). However, it appears that if you were to use your principle "the man always makes every move," than you would, in fact, use this as personal gain in a way that it satisfies a ridiculous insecurity of a person, and furthermore, annoy the man (this is, of course, an assumption).

Given the above, if you don't make a move you're a whore.

[bluesummer]

Perhaps he is simply flirting with you, but has no intentions of taking it beyond that? What do you know of this man and his life, beyond the fact that he is a manager at some market? He could very well be married or with someone else.

Unfortunately, if you two are simply going to dance around each other like this, none of your questions will ever be answered. The other option is that he could just be shy, like you, and is too scared to respond to your note.

However, unless you are up front and ask him, you will never know. Culture can't rule your life my dear......if you really are interested, you need to do something about it!

[King Zarathu]

if you really are interested, you need to do something about it!

You see? *sigh* I'm right again...

My mom always bitches because she can't find a guy that is decent enough or worth dating. On the other hand, any guy that is willing to put in 100% effort for a woman is definitely looking for something more than just what is expected. XD

[shh!]

I think it is possible you have misread his intentions. It sounds like he was just being nice/flirting. Sorry, but I think it is best to forget about him.

[magnole]

Girls, thank you for your replies. The guy is single, never married. We are in the late 40's. I just have been racing my kid and working since my divorce. I am shy and on top of that forgot how to date and go about these things. The guy intended more than flirting. The last time he approached me, I so deep feelings in his eyes, he wanted me to go half way and I was not able to move. This is so sad. I have a serious problem of shyness and insecurity and I am suffering the consequences of loosing the guy I really like. He seems to be a great person. I don't think that someone at that age just flirts to play around, he is a very serious man. I am just going to have to learn from my mistake. I never went back to the market. On the other hand, my note was very sweet and nice, he should have responded to it.
Thank you

[King Zarathu]

I like how through this you realize that you just did this to yourself and it isn't his fault.

[bluesummer]

. He seems to be a great person. I don't think that someone at that age just flirts to play around, he is a very serious man.

I wouldn't be too sure of that.