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Thread: Oh no, I am turning into a possessive maniac

  1. #16
    Join Date
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    Have you looked for peace in church or friendly talk with friends?
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

  2. #17
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    I'm not going to scare people with these thoughts. Too afraid to tell my friends about this or anyone.
    A strong woman takes advantage of help she can get from people around her but she doesn't rely on them for anything

    She uses logic and manages her emotions

    She offers help either because it is a business transaction or out of kindness. It is never because she hopes others will return the favour or out of fear of losing them

    She has her own mind and thinks for herself and knows that she has to be the one who bears the consequences of her decisions

  3. #18
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    If they are good friends, they would understand and be there for you. I get if maybe you don't want to unload all of that on friends. Sometimes we do need to figure out when some thoughts are best left in our heads rather than spoken out loud. I always learn that the hard way when I argue with the voices in public. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to set anybody on fire. I'm kidding of course. (OR AM I?! )

    But, talking about this stuff can sometimes help. I don't know if I missed it before or you just hadn't mentioned it before, but it makes more sense knowing that this is a long distance relationship. Those CAN be very hard. To make them work, communication is key. Yes, to some degree you need to learn to better balance when you are worrying for no reason and thereby find your own ways internally to calm down. If you constantly felt the need to have him reassure you, anybody is eventually going to get sick of that. If you overdo it, he could wind up resenting feeling as though he's being accused of wrongdoing when he's never done anything wrong.

    ...BUT, that doesn't mean you can't talk to him about all this to some degree. Heck, even just be honest with him. You could even just say something like "I'm really sorry if I get a little carried away. This long distance thing is kind of new to me and just freaks me out a little. Sometimes it just helps me to be reassured."

    In time, hopefully he continues to prove he is trustworthy. If so, hopefully that also results in you feeling much more relaxed about the situation. Hopefully you no longer feel the need to worry. But, for now, just balance it yourself when you can, and be open and honest with him when it gets too strong and you feel you can't.

    Also, important to remember that it is okay to get lost a little in the idea of love. To fall deep for somebody even if it seems too early... BUT.... it is also important to be reasonable with yourself about that. It is okay to feel so in love that you are already thinking of a future with him.... so long as you can also engage your intellectual side and realize that it is too early to actually move forward with that sort of thing or even share that with him just yet. In time, he could turn out not to be what you think and then you'd be much better off if you hadn't let yourself get too lost in all that. Or, in time, he could turn out to be what you imagined him to be or even better.... and then that is awesome and great. But, think of it like this. If it turns out he is amazing and awesome and everything you want in a guy.... he will be tomorrow... a month from now... a year from now. In other words, there is no need to rush things. Enjoy each other and when the time is right for each big step you'll both know.

    Best of luck to you!

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