I'm a mid 40's female. I ended up dating a guy with problems that were very drug/alcohol related. As well as serious mental illness issues. He decided he had little to offer me. Or I think I put him in constant conflict over knowing I was in no way into any kind of alcohol or drugs. There were other issues, but were more managable. This guy seemed to have fallen in love with substances as a young child and he was now 51 years old. I couldn't identify in any way and loved him when he was sober but was constantly confused wanted to flee when he was on something(I never knew if it was just alcohol or drugs too when he acted so confusing).

I know intellectually that he did me favor by stopping talking to me. I am codependent.
I wanted to convince him I was worth more than his first love(substances)!
Basically it sounded like he rarely was capable of going long stints without these chemicals in his body. And I want the opposite kind of guy in my life to stay forever. I want, no need, the kind of stability a man with much less Mental Illness and zero chemical use could offer me. It doesn't make him less adorable to me as a human male! So I'm sad, confused, I'm moving away or I've already left the area he lived in, and am moving two states away to have much better future opportunities for myself in work, education, lifestyle, health. I have some health issues and I really need to be in an area where it's not so cold in the winter. I'm going to a seriously 100% desert area.