Hello, here is my sad story.

[PeCuLiAr DuDe]

What it is, I am new here as you can see and if you take the time to read this I greatly appreciate it. I am 19, a virgin, in college, never been in a fight and uh....other than that all you'll really need to know I will talk about somewhere.

As my name suggests I am a really peculiar guy, partly due to extensive physchodelic drug use, and other drugs of course. Sobreity doesn't mean I will not act at all a little twisted. Anyway, I don't exactly have the highest self-esteem, confidence, etc. That's not to say I think nothing of myself, only that I have been known to be a loner. Depression and envy are feelings that I feel all too much. Anytime I see couples or groups, I wonder where I went wrong in establishing that. I completely regret my HS years. I have had two girlfriends but that isn't even worth getting into. I have many friends although sometimes bad things happen and they might become mad. Regardless, I don't have problems talking to strangers, only the type that can relate to my character, of course. But, girls I am stupified. When girls I have already checked out look at my eyes, the rush of energy, nervousness, blushing most definetely, almost like I just want her to say something to help me calm down. I know I just need to talk and be myself, it's very hard for me and I don't get it. I have ADHD but I haven't been perscribed med's or anything.

Should I?

When I am at school, it's seem impossible to talk to anybody (in my classes) at this point because I feel it would be so odd to just start being more friendly to people in a class that I haven't presented myself to well at all. Out in public I feel stupid talking to girls, but only if I'm alone. When I'm alone, most girls in my age group would travel in atleast pairs, usually, so it makes it that much harder for me to get over myself. At times I get mad, almost to the point where when I see things like a guy and two girls walking around I just want to make it harder for these hot chicks to look at him.

One day I was at a grocery store and this cute girl walked right by me. She looked at me as I looked at her and she smiled/smirked, I looked away for a second and looked back and she was still looking at me. I kept on walking. Now I say to myself, what is wrong with me to not atleast try. Another day at the mall I was using the pay phone, before I starting talking I heard this group of 3 girls talking about what to do. I heard one say "we'll find you a boyfriend." As if I am not desperate enough that was almost like a serving on a dish right? They were a little young, but maybe only by a few years. It didn't matter at that point, but I still had my conversation with the phone and then moved on. What came over me to not say something.

Guy's what would you have done/said if you were in either of those positions?

I have never been to clubs, but I am not much of that kind of a guy. I am willing to go though, it's just the music and the people at times is aweful to be around. Earlier today I was think of a bunch of sheisse to say but I can't remember most of it for the life of me now. I think I got most of it down so thanks for your comments.

[loss]

i don't get what are you trying to say...? is it hard for you to talk to girls or is it you are up ur self?? i duno because i don't get what are you tryng to say..???

[loss]

i don't get what are you trying to say...? is it hard for you to talk to girls or is it you are up ur self?? i duno because i don't get what are you tryng to say..???

[google3000]

I think he is trying to say he finds it difficult to approach girls even if the situation is pretty much perfect for him to do so.

Is this what you mean Peculiar Dude?

[PeCuLiAr DuDe]

more or less. sorry if I'm vaque when I write. Writing is like a whole different use of language. I was trying to say many things, but indeed that is one of the points I was touching on. If the situation is "perfect" or calls for action I do sometimes puss out. I worry too much about what she/they'll think about me. I don't always turn weak though so don't think I'm that hopeless. When I am used to people and more lax I am a lot more goffy and what not, not on purpose but just naturally. I wish I could figure out how to control that at more appropriate times.

I always have believed that everything happens for a reason so if I didn't do something in the past, it was ideally supposed to be that way. I also understand that I can make different choices that can affect what is supposed to happen. Madness

I guess I just want to know why I have problems that other people don't have.
I get the shakes, more often than never. Partly due, I believe, to ADHD excessive fast movements with fingers, legs, arms, etc. But, sometimes it is just like general nervousness, like when I was handing a police officer my info I noticed my hands doing the dance. Thankfully the cop didn't say anything. Even now as I hold my hands above the key board they want to go all shakitty.
So, what could be done to help this?

[Gigabitch]

How long has it been since you stopped using drugs? It sounds like you really messed your system up. You might get a lot of good out of changing your diet- like cutting out refined sugars.

Don't medicate yourself unless you absolutely have to.

IMO, you've got more important things to worry about than talking to girls.

[PeCuLiAr DuDe]

Indeed I did do some bad stuff to my system, but I know people who have done a lot worse so I am not even worried about that. I haven't done anything except, occasionally alcohol, for like almost a year. I made a few enemies that otherwise interrupted my abilities to find any drugs. Not to say I couldn't, I just haven't.

Oh yeah I would get plenty good by eating better, I just need to remember what to eat since I know what's good and not good. I have read quite bit on martial art stuff, excersise stuff, eating stuff, etc. I will try to get back into martial arts since I can understand now how that much more lousy I feel for not doing those most beautiful arts. Work and school affect a lot.

I am curiously wanting to take the ADD/ADHD tests or whatever and hear what these doc's say. If I can ever get around to it.

Maybe you are right, I do have a lot of things to figure out before girls. But, I also know that having a girlfriend or even more friends that are girls would make me feel so much more better. In time I hope can get that monkey off my back. Another thing that really bothers is that I am a virgin. I almost feel pathetic for having not lost that many years ago, when I should have.

It was once said "that the most precious thing is to know yourself."
In some cases I think that that can bourdon you.

[Tiay]

....a bunch of sheisse...

.. scheisse ?

you don't happen to be german do you? cos.. that would bring the number of german guys that I know of who have trouble talking to girls to .. five, I think. I'm really starting to wonder why that is.

I agree, there are more important things to worry about. And anyways, if you go to clubs even though you don't like clubbing, guess what?-- you'll find a girl who likes clubbing! It's better to let it happen naturally.

[PeCuLiAr DuDe]

I am a little German. I don't live in Europe, however. I wouldn't mind going to a club for a girl if she wanted too.

yup.

[Tiay]

ah, i'm similar, tho I do live in europe. That explains why you spelled it with "sh" and not "sch" hehe.. I do that all the time.

[EvilGenius]

dude, we have we are in the same boat... except that shaking thing.

but well i dont mind. but though sometimes i regret those instances in which i know i can do something about it. but u can do nothing if u regret. learn from ur past mistakes and apply it in the future.

[PeCuLiAr DuDe]

only in certain instances am I a wee bit shakitty.

word...

[Gigabitch]

Somewhere out there, there's a girl who's up for it. Not every girl wants Mr. Stability. Some of them even want Mr. Volatile, the Second Earl of Shakitty. That would be you.

I suggest getting involved with artsy types. Hang out around the theater and music students. Start conversations with girls at bus stops and then just wander off. Do you see what I'm saying? Play to your strengths. You're not a normal dude. You're a peculiar dude. So be your weird self and be happy with it- you're probably more attractive than you think.

[PeCuLiAr DuDe]

wow...thanks, Giga. You just made my day a little bit more better than it already is.

Good stuff, ya you virtually describe part of me right there. i do do music and am going to be getting into it more during school.

danke schoen