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Thread: Confused about Narcissitic woman

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
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    Confused about Narcissitic woman

    I have been doing lots of reading and research online and I have come to the conclusing that I am dealing with a "grandiose" Narcissist. I have been "be friending" a co-worker "teacher" for close to 6 years now.

    We both work at the same college but in different faculties. We share so much in common it is SCARY.
    Our friendship has been strickly plautonic. She likes to invite me to coffee dates on a regular basis and even asks me out dancing with her. I have never had a women as this of me. She is well off financially.

    She likes attention. She gives signs of life and responds to almost every text, call, etc.

    For example, she invited me to go dancing with her in a small bar called "Roc'n Doc". She was very frugal, she only bought soda which cost her maybe 4$.
    She told me as much. As we were sitting at out table, she showed me a picture of what she said was her new "boyfriend" an italian guy she said she had been seeing for 6 months now.

    I did not say anything. I just listened.
    The usual band she said she liked was replaced by another unknown band.
    Just before we left, she went up to the band and asked to take a "selfie" between herself and the 3 band members.

    I have read that "Narcissit" do "jealousy inducing" behaviour ON PURPOSE.
    This was in early December. She invited me to her birthday on December 22nd. I was not sure if I would find her boyfriend there or what to expect.
    It turns out she was ALONE having a birthday with a bunch of friends. It was basically the same bunch of friends that were invited last year to her birthday.

    I have read that one trait of narcissts is that : "Their words never match his actions. They will make promise after promise, but will deliver nothing."
    That seems to be the case with her with many other topics as well.

    For example, she encourages me to see and date oher women. She even said that she would try to fix me up with someone she knows that never ever comes of it.
    Those are more traits of a narcisst.

    After her birthday, she called me and told me that she want to go dancing with me on New Years day.
    Any way as it turns out, we did not end-up going because of the bad weather. She did give me the phone number of her mother she sees regularly.

    A couple of week-ends later, she invited me to goto an Indigo library in Burlington. She said that she goes there ALL the TIME.
    She give me a small pack of OREOs cookies for my daughter. She said that she needed a LARGE MUG for morning coffee.

    Another trait that fits her pattern of behaviour that matches Narcism is: "She’s resistant to involving herself in your life. She adamantly refuses to meet my daughters, my family or friends and will impede the normal progression of a relationship.".

    She is very nice and friendly when dealing with matters related to our school, like school closing, weather, dealing with grading, students,
    She informed of our next paycheck schedule.

    Her behaviour over the last year has changed.
    She also got a city councillor job and told me that she would like to run for Mayor next time.

    I could write a novel about this woman.

    Comments ?

    Paul

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
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    Female
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    335
    No she is not. She is just very socially active/ a go getter/high achiever/ possible autistic part of the spectrum/ Aspie. You are not besties, you are an acquaintance. Getting to involved may spike anxiety/brain can't handle that much emotional stimulation/ too much effort or energy to handle close relationships.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
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    Female
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    849
    I don't think she is a narcissist either. Sounds more selfish, thoughtless and a flake. Sounds like you are into her but she isn't into you and you cannot figure out why so are labeling her? Why is her behavior so bothersome to you? If friends should be able to call her on her attitude.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
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    Male
    Posts
    3
    What you describing isn’t a narcissistic woman. I just don’t think your as close friends as you think you are .

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