Should I tell him?

[blue]

speak with force ladies and you will feel and be alot cooler for it!!!!!

[Gigabitch]

Shiv, maybe it's messing with your head because you're freaked out about the way you handled it. Sending your boyfriend after "some guy in a hoodie" really isn't going to solve your problem.

Maybe you should take a self-defense class. More than half of what you learn will be mental rather than physical, and might ensure that you don't find yourself in that situation again.

[klw]

Hi there Shiverring. You inspired me to make my first message board posting (ever). I work in this field and wanted you to know there are a lot of resources out there to help you deal with this. With all the support on the board, you may have everything you need for now but if you're interested in more let me know, I'll pass along some nat'l info (you can remain as anonymous as you like when you contact them) with phone #s or web-sites you can check out. Here are a few thoughts on what you've mentioned:

1. Telling your boyfriend what happened is your decision. If you contact a local advocacy group in your area, they will be able to help you plan a way to tell him or talk to you about how to expect him to react. A good advocate might give you advice based on their experience but should not push you into anything and will support whatever decisions you make.

2. You're not expected to just get over it (because you think worse things have happened to other people). This isn't a test and your life isn't being graded on a curve. Nobody else gets to decide how much this does or does not effect you and if you're losing sleep or not eating right or not able to concentrate on the other things in your life that matter to you then it's okay to admit that (at least to yourself) and ask for help. By the way - that stuff is normal. There's no standard for how long or how much someone is affected but please know you won't always feel the way you do right now or think about it as much.

3. In case nobody mentioned it, you are NOT at fault here. Re-read your postings..."let me go," "managed to get away," and you "told him to stop." It doesn't matter what you were wearing, where you were or if you didn't scream out loud. It's his responsibility to not commit criminal assault. You are not responsible for HIS behavior (no matter how drunk he was).

4. If you have questions about why you reacted in a certain way or random thoughts you may have now, talk to a professional who can explain how these (and even your physical reactions) worked together. Your reaction was NORMAL whatever that really is.

If you're not sure who's in your area, your state's county or federal prosecuting offices (the D.A.) should have victim-witness service providers that can pass along some ph#s.

Sorry to be such a bleeding heart (especially when I've been known to vote republican!)
See ya folks, thanks for humoring me!

[blue toxin]

Keep your chin up, and tell your boyfriend. If he thinks you're cheating and starts accusing you of it, staying with him is the stupidest thing you'll ever do.