what is this girl trying to say?

[CodeBoy]

ok theres this girl at school i'm friends with. I am interested in her but doesn't really matter she's got a bf. Anyways she has told me a few times that I'm pretty quiet and laid back. She says she's never seen me get mad and yell. but then...I joke around a lot and she thinks its so funny and calls me "mean" even though I'm not usually serious. I just found this kind of weird because a girl has never told me this before and I'm taking it as a negative thing. what do you think she is getting at? do girls like guys who show their anger more or what?

[vashti]

Demonstrating anger should be proportional to the situation. For example, yelling at her because she calls you "mean" will make you look insane, because it sounds like she may be (mildly) flirting with you. On the other hand, if someone calls you an idiot and spits on your shoe, anger would be a reasonable response, and laughing about it rather than getting angry would make you look like a weenie.

[Ellynn]

She probably is just mildly flrting with you...but I wouldn't look so far into it...

She probably is not used to being around men who are so easy going and relaxed...

Take it as a compliment and leave it at that.

[Kellie_Sabrina]

Sounds to me like she is subtly harmlessly flirting...

Why are you so concerned though? She has a boyfriend! She is out of range given that fact. I suggest you direct all this attention towards someone who is available. You are given yourself false hope here.

But to answer your question... No, this is not to be taken negatively! Also, I know I don't like "angry" men! I want someone I can have fun with. I don't want to worry about him going off on some rage. Tempers are not attractive!

You just need to be yourself. Don't ever alter your actions to please or attract anyone!

[CodeBoy]

well, she does flirt with me quite a bit...which is probably my fault due to me flirting with her. Theres no point in telling me though, I realize it's doing me no good but I really can't help it. I tried ignoring her and that worked for a day or two until she started talking to me again. I tried flirting with other available girls but its just not the same without that attraction there. Being desperate doesn't work anyways...

[vashti]

You should practice flirting with all kinds of girls, and not JUST the ones you are attracted to. Flirting is nothing more than being nice to people and trying to make them feel good about themselves. You don't have to be in love to do that, and it will give you lots more opportunities with ALL girls.

[mhussain]

Ah! Shh! I would have to disagree with you on that!

Flirting implies intent of attraction often subtley sexual in nature. One does not have to be attracted to someone to be nice to them

As for you mate, if she is flirting with you even though she has a Boyfriend, I advise you stay completely clear of her. That is if you want to not spend sometime later down the road in agonising pain.

Hussain

[vashti]

I guess we can't agree on everything, but for the record, when the mood strikes, I even "flirt" with women, and I am not a lesbian. In fact hussain, even you say "often sexual" which implies "not always", so maybe you agree that it is possible on some level?

[Gigabitch]

well, she does flirt with me quite a bit...which is probably my fault due to me flirting with her. Theres no point in telling me though, I realize it's doing me no good but I really can't help it....

No, dude, her flirting with you is her fault. Your flirting with her is your fault. Clearly, she's interested, and I think you've got bigger problems than her calling you "mean".

What do you think about the fact that you and she are flirting a lot when she has a bf?

[CodeBoy]

No, dude, her flirting with you is her fault. Your flirting with her is your fault. Clearly, she's interested, and I think you've got bigger problems than her calling you "mean".

What do you think about the fact that you and she are flirting a lot when she has a bf?

well it is both of our faults but I don't think its that clear shes interested in me. Flirting doesn't necessarily mean she's interested. I think that I do need to stop flirting with her but mostly for my own sake. Her bf doesn't even seem to care too much about it, he's pretty confident and secure and I don't think she'll be leaving him soon anyways.

[mhussain]

I guess we can't agree on everything, but for the record, when the mood strikes, I even "flirt" with women, and I am not a lesbian. In fact hussain, even you say "often sexual" which implies "not always", so maybe you agree that it is possible on some level?

Agreed.

As to you CodeBoy .. Steer clear of her. She is someone else's girl friend. Why would you want to be embroiled in somethign that is in no way going to be simple and proper?

Say goodnight and steer clear is my advice ....

Hussain