Please help me clean up the mess I've made!

[221bBakerStreet]

Right, because that will ever happen in our world. People assume things immediately just by learning someone’s race/religion/age/sex etc.

If she had been plagiarizing I would have cared, though she wasn't. I was wrong. I've admitted that. Though I still will and do think it's stupid, it's her journal, though.

~Blix

=)) Dude, you're REALLY reaching now.

You were wrong. You should have ASKED like Vashti did, but you thought you knew. And you didn't. Let it go and stfu. You're just making a fool of yourself now. Chasing down obscure, unrelated points, and nit-picking about stupid stuff is not gonna change your status from 'Wrong' to 'Right'. Bottom line, you called me a liar and a thief when you had no idea what you were talking about. You were so intent on yanking down MY pants in front of everyone that you didn't bother securing your OWN pants first. Now you're trying to cover it up by bringing up worldwide profiling and stereotypes, and calling my Journal stupid like you know anything about it??? That is SO pathetic, I might cry if I wasn't laughing so hard.

I'd LOVE to get back on our original subject....

[Blix]

I've ALREADY admitted I was wrong. Laugh as you will, I really couldn't give a shit.

I'll embarrass myself, too! I'll continue talking! You're a bigger person than me, also. You're the one who keeps telling me I was wrong though I've admitted to that.

Me talking about stereotypes wasn't even in reply to you.

the song was irrelevant anyway. I guess you were just feeling the moment or something.

Oh, you're a great person, and I suck. I lost horribly and I can't even pull my pants back up.

I'm quick to judge, so sue me. I guess writing lyrics to a song was sensitive or something to you. Beats me. I hope you had fun though, wipe your tears now, I'm going to sleep.

~Blix

[Zero Interrupt]

Wow. I miss a lot when I go to my parents' place to do laundry.

[vashti]

Hmm... I thought exactly the same thing Blix did, so I can obviously see why he was thinking what he did. Still, I am glad I missed all the melodrama.

[221bBakerStreet]

Well, if anyone is interested, here is my current status report.

Since that beach incident Friday/Saturday, I have pretty much been keeping away from BF. Not unfriendly, and not totally gone, but just not around much. I've had to not answer my door and my phone dozens of times, but I think it's working out. When I hang out with Roommate, I usually just make myself scarce before BF gets home from work, and I just don't answer the countless calls from BF, or the doorbell when I know it's him. A couple of times, he has kind of tricked me--came over under the guise of "dropping off/picking up" Roommate to/from my apartment--and hung out until he had to leave for work. I have been friendly to him every single time I've had an exchange with him. But I usually excuse myself as soon as it's decently possible.

Tonight, I was over at his apartment hanging out with Roommate, and BF came home from work about an hour early. He had a girl with him, one of the other servers from the restaurant he works at. And she was pretty, really cool, and smart. Roommate told me she spent the night in BF's room last night, and I expect she will again, tonight.

It looks like the separation is working out for him, whether he likes it or not. It appears I made the right decision. If he can make a go of a relationship with this chick, then it will be a LOT easier to get out of this.

It's time to move on.

[Ellynn]

Ok, if this is something you REALLY want to do (moving on that is), then your doing the best thing by spending less time with him.

If he truly does have feelings for you, hopefully in time he will realize that no matter what girl he brings home, shes not you. And maybe then, he will make his move.

But, I understand why your doing what your doing. Sometimes friendship is too damn important to mess up with a relationship. But, Im glad to see you moving on and trying to spend more time apart and more time with other people.

[221bBakerStreet]

Ellynn, I appreciate your words of encouragement. But I posted on here, several days ago, that I would either date him or lose him. There is no third option.

There'll be no Best-Friendship nor anything else but "Normal" acquaintenceship. From now on, he gets the same treatment any other friend would get.

First of all, I am still not sure he is not using this chick to make me jealous, or "show me" in some way. I find it strange that he has worked with her for 6 months and never paid any attention to her at all. Then, literally, the day he realized I was backing away from him, he started hanging out with her, almost nonstop.

I could easily turn his head from this girl, and I have, without even trying. A couple of nights ago, he came home and I was in his room running anti-spyware software on his computer (I do that regularly). He came and laid on his bed and talked loudly to Co-Worker on his phone. I said nothing, but I was clearly waiting for the software to finish so I could leave. Then, when the clean-up program I was running was almost done (it was Spybot S&D; anyone familiar with it knows that you can see it's progress from across the room!), he suddenly interrupted her in the middle of a sentence and said he had to go, then hung up. He followed me outside, downstairs, and out to my car, trying to get me to hang around.

I left anyway. Then when I got home, he kept pushing the "I'm on the phone with this girl" Act. Well, here is the Y! Messenger conversation we had after I got home. (Disclaimer: BF and I often communicate with each other via song lyrics. Or, sometimes we just type out the words while they play (it's the equivalent of singing along). Neither of us is trying to pretend we WROTE these lyrics that are quoted here!) I am including the whole thing. Anyone, please feel free to tell me what, exactly, went on here? Does anyone see the same thing here that I see, or am I a complete nutter?


Me (6/20/2006 1:12:40 AM): let me know if your comp runs any faster, or if there are still the same number of those pop-ups
BF (6/20/2006 1:12:47 AM): why did you bail i wanted to hang out tonight
Me (6/20/2006 1:13:14 AM): i worked on it hard tonight, but when i left there were still some popups. about 1/4 of the number there WERE, but i wanted ZERO
BF (6/20/2006 1:13:19 AM): no there are less pop ups but it keeps kicking me out of the places i am going online
Me (6/20/2006 1:13:27 AM): what do you mean?
Me (6/20/2006 1:13:33 AM): like you click a link and it doesn't open?
BF (6/20/2006 1:13:40 AM): i went to myspace and i was there for like 5 minutes
BF (6/20/2006 1:13:46 AM): it kicked me off
BF (6/20/2006 1:14:06 AM): i went to Roommates website got half way through reading and got kicked off
Me (6/20/2006 1:14:15 AM): oh--well that might just be cause your comp is a POS.
Me (6/20/2006 1:14:16 AM): wait--
BF (6/20/2006 1:14:17 AM): i went to the bulletin board and got kicked off
Me (6/20/2006 1:14:26 AM): define "kicked off" of a web page....?
BF (6/20/2006 1:15:05 AM): the page went off the screen and closed
Me (6/20/2006 1:15:50 AM): well, the only thing i can think it might be is--double click that little red and black K in the bottom right of the screen to disable it
Me (6/20/2006 1:15:53 AM): it will turn grey
Me (6/20/2006 1:16:06 AM): that is a popup blocker, but i don't know why it would dump out windows on you
Me (6/20/2006 1:16:35 AM): i mean dump you out of IE windows
Me (6/20/2006 1:16:37 AM): that's bullshit
BF (6/20/2006 1:20:09 AM): what the hell is going on with this damn computer
Me (6/20/2006 1:20:48 AM): don't know
Me (6/20/2006 1:20:52 AM): what's it doing?
BF (6/20/2006 1:22:44 AM): i just went back to myspace and it kicked me out again
Me (6/20/2006 1:23:23 AM): i'm trying to figure out what would cause a comp to keep dumping windows
Me (6/20/2006 1:23:33 AM): the only think i can come up with is a virus, BF
Me (6/20/2006 1:23:45 AM): because it's not supposed to do that
BF (6/20/2006 1:24:48 AM): i may be but **** it i am getting a new computer on saturday
Me (6/20/2006 1:25:11 AM): yeah but don't you want all the shit off of THAT one when you get a new one?
BF (6/20/2006 1:26:10 AM): most of it i suppose
Me (6/20/2006 1:26:56 AM): any idea how?
BF (6/20/2006 1:28:51 AM): how what
Me (6/20/2006 1:29:12 AM): nevermind
BF (6/20/2006 1:32:31 AM): this girl is nuts
Me (6/20/2006 1:32:52 AM): who, me?
BF (6/20/2006 1:32:56 AM): she is trying to get me to assess her on the damn phone
BF (6/20/2006 1:32:59 AM): no casey
BF (6/20/2006 1:33:05 AM): from work
Me (6/20/2006 1:39:14 AM): well, i will try to figure out what's wrong with your comp next time i come over there
Me (6/20/2006 1:39:36 AM): sounds like you're busy talking to your friend
Me (6/20/2006 1:39:51 AM): i think i may be able to fix it, but i will see. later
Me (6/20/2006 1:40:06 AM): gator
BF (6/20/2006 1:40:48 AM): later
BF (6/20/2006 1:42:11 AM): she is a very disturbed person.....i think
BF (6/20/2006 1:59:24 AM): she is now telling me her life story
BF (6/20/2006 1:59:50 AM): what are you doing
BF (6/20/2006 2:00:07 AM): i am uninterested in this
Me (6/20/2006 2:00:26 AM): sometimes i feel like something is gone here, something is wrong here
Me (6/20/2006 2:00:29 AM): i don't belong here
Me (6/20/2006 2:00:35 AM): sometimes i feel like a stranger in town
Me (6/20/2006 2:00:39 AM): and i've lost what i found
Me (6/20/2006 2:00:44 AM): it'll all turn around?
Me (6/20/2006 2:02:01 AM): in a little while i'll be thinking about you
Me (6/20/2006 2:02:09 AM): in a little i'll still be here without you
BF (6/20/2006 2:02:10 AM): i am sure you will
Me (6/20/2006 2:02:18 AM): you never gave me a reason to doubt you
BF (6/20/2006 2:02:23 AM): i know
Me (6/20/2006 2:02:26 AM): in a little while i'll be thinking about you, baby
BF (6/20/2006 2:02:35 AM): yea yea yea i know
Me (6/20/2006 2:02:37 AM): i'll be thinking about you, baby, baby, baby....

BF (6/20/2006 2:08:05 AM): i got you
Me (6/20/2006 2:08:05 AM): sail on down the line, bout a half or mile or so
Me (6/20/2006 2:08:10 AM): and i don't really wanna know
Me (6/20/2006 2:08:14 AM): where you're going
Me (6/20/2006 2:08:21 AM): maybe once or twice you see
Me (6/20/2006 2:08:25 AM): time after time i tried
Me (6/20/2006 2:08:29 AM): to hold on to what we got but
Me (6/20/2006 2:08:32 AM): now you're going
Me (6/20/2006 2:08:41 AM): and i don't mind about the things you're gonna say, lord
Me (6/20/2006 2:08:45 AM): i gave all my money and my time
Me (6/20/2006 2:08:50 AM): i know it's shame
Me (6/20/2006 2:08:56 AM): but i'm giving you back your name
Me (6/20/2006 2:09:03 AM): yes i'll be on my way
Me (6/20/2006 2:09:05 AM): i won't be back to stay
Me (6/20/2006 2:09:14 AM): i guess i'll move along, i'm looking for a good time
Me (6/20/2006 2:09:31 AM): sail on down the line
Me (6/20/2006 2:09:36 AM): ain't it funny how the time can go?
Me (6/20/2006 2:09:43 AM): all my friends say they told me so, but it doesn't matter
Me (6/20/2006 2:09:47 AM): it was plain to see that a
Me (6/20/2006 2:09:56 AM): small town boy like me just wasn't your cup of tea
Me (6/20/2006 2:10:01 AM): i was wishful thinking
Me (6/20/2006 2:10:07 AM): i gave you my heart, and i tried to make you happy
Me (6/20/2006 2:10:12 AM): but you gave me nothing in return
Me (6/20/2006 2:10:17 AM): you know it ain't so hard to say
BF (6/20/2006 2:10:17 AM): ok she hung up
BF (6/20/2006 2:10:20 AM): finally
Me (6/20/2006 2:10:23 AM): but would you please just go away?
Me (6/20/2006 2:10:31 AM): i've thrown away the blues
Me (6/20/2006 2:10:37 AM): i'm tired of being used
Me (6/20/2006 2:10:40 AM): i want everyone to know
Me (6/20/2006 2:10:44 AM): i'm looking for a good time
BF (6/20/2006 2:10:49 AM): with hands of leather and a face of gold lets get naked and i will steal your soul
BF (6/20/2006 2:10:51 AM): lol
BF (6/20/2006 2:11:39 AM): its times like these we learn to live again
BF (6/20/2006 2:11:48 AM): its times like these we give and give again
BF (6/20/2006 2:11:58 AM): its times like these we learn to love again
BF (6/20/2006 2:12:36 AM): six days on the road and i am gonna make it home tonight
BF (6/20/2006 2:12:58 AM): what are you doing
BF (6/20/2006 2:13:09 AM): i guess no hanging out tonight eh?
BF (6/20/2006 2:13:44 AM): did i interupt your moment
BF (6/20/2006 2:14:32 AM): are you still there
BF (6/20/2006 2:14:36 AM): hello
BF (6/20/2006 2:15:07 AM): ok well..........uummmmmmmmm
Me (6/20/2006 2:15:47 AM): alonzo declared that he must reach to heaven forever
Me (6/20/2006 2:15:56 AM): oh wait--you can't have that song! It's only MINE!
BF (6/20/2006 2:16:14 AM): untrue
BF (6/20/2006 2:16:42 AM): i will be right back i gotta pee


I logged off of Messenger before he came back from the bathroom.

[Ellynn]

Haha, your not the only one who sings lyrics to your guy friends. I know what thats all about!

He doesn't seem all that interested in Casey. He acted like he was bored with her, but yet very insistant with hanging out with you. The good thing though is that you are backing off. It seems to bother him though. He will either get over it, or will pursue you again.

I know there is no inbetween. Its either all or nothing. But, its good you are putting your foot down. If he's not serious about you, then you need to find a guy who is.

[Gigabitch]

Babe, you have no business in his room. Stay out of his room.

[Ellynn]

Babe, you have no business in his room. Stay out of his room.

She has a point. If you are trying to distance yourself from him, why are you in his room? I know you were installing popupblockers on his computer etc, but honestly, the whole point of distance is to have very little contact.

Meaning, you don't go over to his house, (especially end up in his room), you keep your conversations vague, and he doesn't come over to your house.

Right now your still hanging out with him, but ignoring him when you feel like it. Your still in the routine in ways. So why not bump things up a bit and stop going over there?

I mean you said yourself theres no inbetween. Its either all or nothing. So show him that.

[221bBakerStreet]

Babe, you have no business in his room. Stay out of his room.

I can't--My dog lives in there!

[vashti]

You are making excuses.

[221bBakerStreet]

She has a point. If you are trying to distance yourself from him, why are you in his room? I know you were installing popupblockers on his computer etc, but honestly, the whole point of distance is to have very little contact.

Meaning, you don't go over to his house, (especially end up in his room), you keep your conversations vague, and he doesn't come over to your house.

Right now your still hanging out with him, but ignoring him when you feel like it. Your still in the routine in ways. So why not bump things up a bit and stop going over there?

I mean you said yourself theres no inbetween. Its either all or nothing. So show him that.

I know this sounds bizarre, but I am distancing myself from HIM, not his apartment. I am still friends with Roommate, and I still hang out with him. Plus, like I said, I am still responsible for our puppy when BF is at work, and her crate is in BF's room. Besides--and I SWEAR this is God's honest truth--I broke my leg three weeks ago, and I have a cast. Their bathroom is bigger than mine, and is the only place I have enough room to take a bath with my cast outside the tub.

I am not trying to get rid of the guy completely. I talk to him from time to time on Y! Messenger (again, today!), and sometimes for a minute when I wait too late to leave his house and I run into him, but the time we spend together now is nothing like it was a week ago. I think I am making progress. But my goal here is not to completely cut off all contact with him; only to make it a more reasonably normal casual friendship.

He does, however, seem to be taking this whole process pretty hard. He calls me all day long, and even comes over and knocks on the door when I don't answer. Today, on Y! Messenger (pretty much the only medium of communication I've not cut off completely!) he was demanding to know why I didn't want to be around him anymore. He's hurt, angry, and bewildered about what he's done wrong. This is brutal.

BF has his only day off from work tomorrow (Friday), and has been insisting that I go out of town with him, on a trip about 100 miles away. To be honest, I was thinking about going with him (we would leave around 10 a.m. and get home in the wee hours of the morning). Bad idea?

[vashti]

You are still making excuses. I am sure you would find a way to bathe if he did not live in that apartment.

On a scale of 1-10, how much are you enjoying the drama?

[221bBakerStreet]

You are still making excuses. I am sure you would find a way to bathe if he did not live in that apartment.

On a scale of 1-10, how much are you enjoying the drama?

0.5, on a scale where 1 sucks, and 10 is orgasmic.

The only reason I give it half a point instead of a flat ZERO, is because the only thing that sucks WORSE than this is what I was doing BEFORE I ever posted on this site. Believe me, this is no fun at all. But neither was THAT.