Break or breakup? (short)

[Splinter]

Hello all, i found this site a while back and know that you guys are very helpful.

Heres my situation. My gf and i have been together for a lil over year. A very good year, i have nothing but good memories of it and do not have any regrets. I truly am in love with her. She was all i could ask for and she made me a better person. She really changed me. Well the other day (yesterday actually ) she sat me down and said that she thinks we need to take a break. Then came the waterworks from both of us. We held each other crying and she said we're not breaking up and that she still loves me with all her heart. I also said I loved her with all my heart (I do ) She said she needed time alone to get things straight with her life (college is coming up and all that, its that time in life i guess) and basically just time to think. No there is not another guy, just for clarification. Well to be honest, i'm absolutely devastated, i havnt called her and i wont. I figure she wants a break so im going to respect that, she'll call when shes ready. But i'm assuming the worse and at the same time im ready to be supportive of whatever she chooses. I love her so much and I pray for the best. What do you guys think? i hope there are some positive replies out there, i need em Thanks peeps!

[sfalexi]

Given the situation it might be just a 'break'. However I think most 'breaks' end up in break ups so be ready for that. I suggest still having SOME contact with her. Don't call her everyday like you're desperate, but call her once a week maybe and ask how she's doing, are things coming along well, and basic non-desperate chit-chat. It'll just serve as a reminder that you're alive and awaiting a decision. Also, I'd put some sort of 'ultimatum' (sp?) on this situation. Don't tell her, "I need to know by ____ whether we're together or not", but you don't want to wait all this time and end up finding out that she's moved on but didn't have the heart to tell you. Just set some sort of date in your head as to when you need to know by, and as it gets closer to that date ask those questions like, "Have you decided? Do you know whether we're gonna be able to work this through?" etc.

Alexi

[Splinter]

OK, well heres the REAL deal. Fact of the matter is we are both going to end up going to seperate colleges in less than a year. She said that she feels she has to take the break to see if she can be "ok without me". I understand that it will be hard when we go our own ways but there will be a reason for it. I would much more willingly let her go to persue her dream in the medical feild. I can understand where she is coming from and I am trying so hard to be supportive. I just beleive that because the split has not happened yet that we should live it up until it does. You only live once. She fears that because she loves me so much it would destroy her to see us split. I'm so lost. I guess for now im just doing my own thing, keeping myself busy, hanging out with friends but at the same time I'm being 100% supportive even though it is so hard. Thanks for listening...

<-------- Hopeless Romantic hoping for the best

[Splinter]

....and it turned out for the best.