First Breakup

[Gigabitch]

I don't understand why she has done this.

She started texting me saying she just wanted to speak to me because shes been feeling down, so I was there for her... now shes thrown it all back in my face

what about my friend, am I right to hate him?

Mistake number one. Don't do that again. Are you some kind of addict?

Your friend is not a great friend, but the anger you feel toward him is misplaced, and you know it.

[SWLR]

You mean all my anger should be directed at her?

[Gigabitch]

You mean all my anger should be directed at her?

At least half of it should be at yourself for not protecting yourself from her- she's a freaking parasite, and this has been going on for far too long.

[SWLR]

I have to face this guy at college tomorrow...argh

I feel like such a failure. I don't why I let this happen.

I should be over her now, but I'm not

[Binxy]

Whew, I'll tell you. I just finished reading your whole thread. The last little bit I've been reading here is exactly what I did and what I've gone through with my ex. It's been 8 months of emotionally insane confrontations. From friendship to almost hating each other, and at other times almost getting back together even though he's admitted he doesn't love me (yes I was desperate to have him back and would have settled for that...pathetic). You have GOT to cut all ties with this girl once and for all. I wish I had found this forum when I was going through what I had at the time, I think I would have been pulled back to reality a lot sooner. The longer you keep talking to her the more pain it's going to cause you (as is evidence from this thread). You might have some great days where you think it's going to work out, but from what I'm reading, this is a very dysfunctional relationship. Read these forums and about some of the other breakups and see others who have gone through the same thing. There's something about seeing it through someone elses eyes, it makes you realize what a mistake your making. It sort of shocks you back to having some sense.

[Binxy]

Your getting dependant on this girl. I was hoping when Giga had told you that you had your dignity still, or something like that, and to cherish that, that you were going to leave this girl alone then, but I see your still having contact with her. If anything, read your own thread and see what a bad relationship it is. Read it as though your reading about someone else, two people you don't know. It's cliche' but you do deserve better than that. What if your putting so much into this non-existant relationship and the right girl comes along, but your too blind to her because your to obsessed with this unhealthy thing that's happening.

Be smarter than I was. I guarantee if you don't, in 8 months you'll be in the exact same position and won't have even begun to heal. I've just recently started the healing process, it's not easy but if I can do it (after a 6 year relationship) so can you. Plus, your younger and you've got a whole lot of girls out there to choose from. Stop messing with this one, she's the wrong one.

It hurts deeply when it's a friend they turn to and start seeing. Especially when they both lie that they aren't seeing each other (but they are). It adds a double pain that is horrible. But you WILL get over this. Please get some dignity back, take a few deep breaths, then start figuring out how to get your head on straight so you can forget her and move on.

[SWLR]

I'm scared of removing her from my life incase I miss out on some big opportunity of getting her back... I just can't bring myself to delete her from my contacts list.

I live in hope and its extremely unhealthy.

I'll try to let go

[Gigabitch]

You need to go to Codependents Anonymous and I am not even remotely kidding.

[SWLR]

Isn't that something to do with alcoholism?

I don't quite understand

[Binxy]

You need to go to Codependents Anonymous and I am not even remotely kidding.

I agree with Giga, and I'm serious too.

Be careful that your not enjoying wallowing in your misery. It can become a habit that's hard to break. From your last remark I don't know what to tell you. My friends gave me so much advice, but it was only after I truly wanted a change that I was able to stop hurting. We can give you advice, but you've got to make that first step of wanting to lmake a change. If you don't there's no advice we can give you that will matter.

[Gigabitch]

Google it. Your behavior is self-destructive and codependent. Many people find alcoholics to attach themselves to in a codependent manner, but it's not required.

[Binxy]

Also, you might talk about it and somehow it feeds those emotions and keeps the fires strong in regards to her. So instead of us helping you with our advice, it might be hindering you. Has anyone else been in that situation? Where you talk to all of your friends about the bad relationship, but you really don't want the relationship to end so talking about it keeps it alive somehow, even though your friends are saying your crazy, your insane, you've got to let go, and so on and so on. I don't want to hijack the thread, but I am curious if any of you have ever felt that?

[Gigabitch]

Seriously, I want to go over to your house and have some kind of intervention with you. I would move your ass out of town if necessary. This is a BAD GIRL, and you aren't available for any kind of relationship with a good girl, because you're STILL her bitch after all this time.

What do your friends think of all this- or are you really good at hiding this?

[SWLR]

I do want to be happy.

I'm being pathetic aren't I?

You kinda frightened me with the co-dependancy thing. I think I'm too afraid to attend the meetings, it sounds a little daunting

[Binxy]

There's a lot of things you can find out about co-dependancy from the internet. There's also lots of books.