Older girl with little boy?

[lissa]

I have a crush on a guy with whom I'm involved in a community service type activity. I seriously think he likes me, we flirt all the time, he jokingly tells me he loves me and wants to marry me, everyone around us is annoyed at our lovey dovey-ness.

Here's the awful catch... I just found out he's 19. I'm 24. He graduated high school a year ago and I graduated college two years ago! We are in totally different places in our lives.

It sucks though because we are a good match, we are both zany and have a great time together. Should I back off? Should I just go with it and hope to have some short term fun, nothing serious? Or do you think there is a possibility this could work? I guess he must be much less mature than me, I just haven't seen that side of him yet. I thought he was like 22 or something until last week.

[daletom]

For starters I'd guess that he's flattered by his ability to attract the attention of an "older woman" and he's doing his best to impress you with his maturity. That's not really a bad thing, by the way.

. . . do you think there is a possibility this could work?

I don't really know what you mean by that.

Are you hoping this turns into a serious relationship? Yes, I think it could work! As you grow older a 5-year age difference is less significant - I wouldn't encourage you if it was, say 16 and 21. But you'll have to approach it as a long-term project from the very start, and definitely not rush things. I suspect it will take several months of dating before you have a good understanding of how significant the age difference is, and how much your maturity levels differ. The real problem is probably not the age or maturity differences per se, but rather the fact that you two are at very different points in your life paths. For example, I think there would be a better chance of establishing a serious, stable relationship if you were still in college. (And if it REALLY works out and you become life partners, are you ready for his always being able to refer to you - accurately - as "My old lady."?)

Or are you actually looking for a short-term, casual sex fling? I think you could do some real damage to him. He will almost certainly attach more significance and seriousness to the sex than you do. Somewhere between a third and half the guys his age are still virgins. Even guys want to have an emotional attachment, or will quickly develop an emotional attachment, to their first sex partners! In my opinion it would be at the very least disrespectful to draw him into a physical relationship that you intend to be strictly no-strings-attached.

[NeoSeminole]

19 yrs old isn't exactly a little boy. If you were attracted to him before you found out his age, then I don't see why it makes a difference now. You were obviously drawn to him for a reason. It would have been a problem if he was, say 17, b/c then he would be a minor. I've noticed that guys tend to mature quicker than girls after 18. I think you should give him a chance.

[King Zarathu]

I don't think 19 is too young to be dating a 24 year old, even though there's a maturity difference. I say go for it.

[vashti]

I've noticed that guys tend to mature quicker than girls after 18. .

Hahahahhahaha! Good one!

[King Zarathu]

Repz0rz for you, vashti.

[vashti]

Damn! What is going on with my rep points? I had 80-something yesterday! This is getting to be embarrassing. Maybe it is broken.

[Ellynn]

The only way I could think of it being a problem is if you like to go out to the bars alot. Then, it might present a problem. Seeing as he cannot really go to bars at all, then that could cause some problems. I mean he could get a fake, but I hear they really crack down on that now. So, honestly not worth going thru all that hassel.

Another problem may be when he turns 21. I mean by that time you'll be like 26 and been there and done that, where the bars will be new to him. So, that could cause another conflict.

Other then that, I don't see a problem. If you honestly like him and want to give it a shot, I say go for it.

[Junket]

I have a crush on a guy with whom I'm involved in a community service type activity. I seriously think he likes me, we flirt all the time, he jokingly tells me he loves me and wants to marry me, everyone around us is annoyed at our lovey dovey-ness.

Here's the awful catch... I just found out he's 19. I'm 24. He graduated high school a year ago and I graduated college two years ago! We are in totally different places in our lives.

It sucks though because we are a good match, we are both zany and have a great time together. Should I back off? Should I just go with it and hope to have some short term fun, nothing serious? Or do you think there is a possibility this could work? I guess he must be much less mature than me, I just haven't seen that side of him yet. I thought he was like 22 or something until last week.

I say give him a chance!

Only because I'm in a similar situation...

[Steven715]

I don't think 19 is too young to be dating a 24 year old, even though there's a maturity difference. I say go for it.

I was going to say the same thing i dont think that is a big diffrence even for todays couples

[Miler]

Then, it might present a problem. Seeing as he cannot really go to bars at all, then that could cause some problems. I mean he could get a fake, but I hear they really crack down on that now. So, honestly not worth going thru all that hassel.

Not sure how stringent they are in the states, but provided "lissa" carries ID proving she is 24, then it's likely that he could blag his way anyway. ie, "forgot it"

[Gigabitch]

Give him a shot. 19 is old enough to find creative ways to make you forget the age difference.

[blacksun]

Not sure how stringent they are in the states, but provided "lissa" carries ID proving she is 24, then it's likely that he could blag his way anyway. ie, "forgot it"

Ive never had any luck with that ive always been stopped at the door and told to go home but thats never stopped me from trying

[daletom]

The only way I could think of it being a problem is if you like to go out to the bars alot. Then, it might present a problem. Seeing as he cannot really go to bars at all . . .

You mean - they would have to relate to each other as sober, thinking people? Without using alcohol as a catalyst? WOW - what an original idea!

p.s. - Maybe you're too young to recall - didn't Wisconsin used to allow 19 year olds to get beer and most wine? When I was in college, some of the guys would make weekend runs to Hurley, Wisconsin (about 125 mi each way, as I recall) so they could drink in a night-club setting without always watching over their shoulders.

p.p.s. - No you've got me thinking back to those days - Which brand of malt beverage used to advertise itself as "The beer that made Milwaukee famous!"?

[Ellynn]

You mean - they would have to relate to each other as sober, thinking people? Without using alcohol as a catalyst? WOW - what an original idea!

p.s. - Maybe you're too young to recall - didn't Wisconsin used to allow 19 year olds to get beer and most wine? When I was in college, some of the guys would make weekend runs to Hurley, Wisconsin (about 125 mi each way, as I recall) so they could drink in a night-club setting without always watching over their shoulders.

p.p.s. - No you've got me thinking back to those days - Which brand of malt beverage used to advertise itself as "The beer that made Milwaukee famous!"?

Hey, Im not a big drinker. I've been there and done that. Just wasn't sure what she was into. If she is, that could cause a conflict.

As for getting beer at 19, that was before my days. I couldn't legally drink until Sept. of 2002 on my 21st bday. But, of course we had our ways of getting around that illegally before that But, of course, thats usually when it was more fun.

As for the beer that made Milwaukee famous, isn't that Miller? I remember going on a Miller brewery tour in grade school. The chaperons got a glass of the good stuff while they gave us soda. Now thinking back, what a field trip for young people! Oh yeah and now they also make "Milwaukee's best" beer. But honestly, I just stick to Miller. Its better in my opinon.